I want to give you some constructive criticsm By telling my experience
Ok. I want to help you because im younger than you and im fixing a similar situation to yours. Im from NY, and I have a learning disability in school. This means when everybody else takes a 2 hour test, I take a 5 hour test. 1 ½ hw for everybody else, 3 ½ hrs for me. So I was studying my azz off to get mid 80s average. My father came from Colombia, mother from Aruba, so they couldn’t pay for my school. I was bouncing between my parents and grandma’s house, during high school. Ive lived in queens, Bronx, Brooklyn, all in high school. I think I developed into a loser, the type of kid that gangs were looking to jump take my $. And b/c of where I lived, I did get jumped and slashed a few times. Because I was a loser, I didn’t have too many friends, people would keep their distance from me, some would play me. I was 3 season athlete in high school, and I worked at the same time. So, not only was I not having any fun, I was getting pissed on by other people in high school. So I had real low self esteem. How I got a sponsor to pay for me to go to college, it was a miracle. Summer after I graduated high school, 2 people straight up told me, that I came across like a guy who obviously gets no girls, and probably gets teased in high school.
So I decided to take a stand and change my outside (voice tone, body language, the way I dress) and I should change how I talk to people. I used to give out a lot of info about myself, that made me look like a loser, and I would not be able to talk about stuff that guys talk about. So I decided to learn NCAA sports, hip-hop clothes, rap, so that I could actually have stuff to talk about with guys.
Now, when I go back home, I have a lot of friends in different places, and I have friends in college. I started out college year 1st semester with no friends. In college I still have less time to chill. But some people that know me, know that ive had it harder than them, and I know this too. I used to just get jealous, but now I alienate myself from my negative past, being able to laugh at it, and twist it from, ‘wow my life really sucked, nobody else had to…’ into ‘wow, you say my childhood was hard, I had to do some robin hood ****, stealing from the rich, but I say all that made me rich with experiences and deep. I toughed out some of the worse parts of ‘the wild life’, that me that much more of a man.’