"Nice guys" are a myth and drop the entitlement

[Infern0]

I was one of these "nice guys" in my early 20s

Would talk on the phone for hours, play the best friend, buy things, always be there.

Why? Because i wanted that ***** and I had ZERO game and ZERO confidence, so I tried the back route.

There were two girls that I had MASSIVE oneitis for, over a prolonged period.

MGTOW convinced me I had been hard done by and screwed over. But heres the funny thing, once I dropped the chip on my shoulder, learned game, saw how things were....


I HAD chances with BOTH of them.

Like, chances is actually underselling it, BOTH of them actually genuinley liked me for a good couple of months.

But I had so little confidence I NEVER made a move and sure enough eventually some other guy came along, did make a move and I got friendzoned.



You have the choice to be bitter and blame girls but I'll be honest if you ACTUALLY know what you are doing you'll see that many times its your own fault.

I see so much bitter resentment on here and I dont think it's the way to go at all.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

The thing is men who are 'nice guys' also tend to be overly socialized and repressed individuals. In my opinion, the well-rounded man needs to balance a civil and mannered demeanor on the one hand [the social] with an aggressive aspect for what he desires on the other [the natural/ erotic]. This conquering nature is at the heart of eros and the relations between the sexes... and without it a man has been emasculated.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

The thing is men who are 'nice guys' also tend to be overly socialized and repressed individuals.

This is quite true. The old blue pill analogy is closer to the original concept presented in The Matrix than many think.

I was one of these "nice guys" in my early 20s

Would talk on the phone for hours, play the best friend, buy things, always be there.

I was pretty much the same. Ninety nine percent of the guys that come here are the same when they arrive. Though there is an element of resentment, that is only a side effect of the red pill. We've all been in that head space to some degree.

Another of the primary issues I've seen is that the knee jerk reaction is always to swing a 180, and assume that the ideal opposite of being a 'nice guy' is to mimic some kind of bad boy or ******* mentality. This is near impossible to pull off for the average nice guy, and to all intents, pointless. Fake people get found out pretty quickly. As far as I can conclude, there are five general (genuine) personality types among guys, when we think about dating:

The Nice Guy: basically a faker. He thinks being sickly sweet nice to people will win their affections and get him laid. Goes in to pathological melt down when he realises most of the time it doesn't. Actually not a nice guy, just an ******* trying to be cool.

The Bland Guy: basically, boring. Understated, wears beige and navy clothes a lot. Would like to get laid but is capable any kind of self reflection. Gets frustrated, but not to the pathological level of the nice guy. Like Kezia Nobel talks about; the one thing you don't want to be is bland and forgettable.

The Cool Guy: genuine, charming, and charismatic. He is nice, but only because that's who he is; not because he's trying to gain anything from anyone. His own man and doesn't rely on anyone. Will normally have the highest quality women.

The Bad Boy: not dissimilar to the cool guy. Maybe more of a rogue and careless. But not intentionally so. Maybe not quite so charismatic. Gives off a mysterious aura, that draws in the bad girls.

The A$$hole: often mistaken for the Bad Boy, but actually more akin to the Nice Guy. Manipulative, fake, superficially charming. Everything he does is for his own gain. Usually compensating for deep insecurities. Get's laid, even has relationships, but only really with unstable women. Generally can't handle stronger women.


The ideal place is to be a mix of cool and bad. Charming, but not a push over. Previously I was probably a terrible mix of bland-nice-guy-a$$hole. It takes brutal honesty with the self and intense sustained will power to genuinely change. Not everyone can do it. Hence you see the bitterness.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I think the challenge is to weld the social and the natural together. In my opinion, a wider culture, as in the collective art of the species, is required for this. Today we are too individualistic, whether that is taken as conforming to the norm [individualism in the abstract], or completely reacting against it. This gives you the simple dichotomy between so-called red and blue pill. I prefer the color purple, which would be representative of this blending, and of a natural aristocrat who would rise above societal norms instead of sinking below them into sociopathic tendencies.

 

[Spaz]

I was one of these "nice guys" in my early 20s

Would talk on the phone for hours, play the best friend, buy things, always be there.

Why? Because i wanted that ***** and I had ZERO game and ZERO confidence, so I tried the back route.

There were two girls that I had MASSIVE oneitis for, over a prolonged period.

MGTOW convinced me I had been hard done by and screwed over. But heres the funny thing, once I dropped the chip on my shoulder, learned game, saw how things were....


I HAD chances with BOTH of them.

Like, chances is actually underselling it, BOTH of them actually genuinley liked me for a good couple of months.

But I had so little confidence I NEVER made a move and sure enough eventually some other guy came along, did make a move and I got friendzoned.



You have the choice to be bitter and blame girls but I'll be honest if you ACTUALLY know what you are doing you'll see that many times its your own fault.

I see so much bitter resentment on here and I dont think it's the way to go at all.

Now this is something worth reading and responding.

Admission and taking ownership of ur own inadequacy will always put you in the right path.

Well done.

 

[skinnyguy]

I'd be mega happy if women thought of me as a bad boy

being a nice guy brought me to this site.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I'd be mega happy if women thought of me as a bad boy

being a nice guy brought me to this site.

If they knew they couldn't lean on you extra for friendship without spreading those legs that would get you on the way.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

No! Life sucks and poor me! It’s not my fault, it’s theirs! I’m nearly perfect and THEY are the messed up ones! *babyrage*

 

[MrJack]

This is quite true. The old blue pill analogy is closer to the original concept presented in The Matrix than many think.

I was pretty much the same. Ninety nine percent of the guys that come here are the same when they arrive. Though there is an element of resentment, that is only a side effect of the red pill. We've all been in that head space to some degree.

What’s funny is that when I was straight blue pill I would watch movies and TV and believe that was how a man was supposed to act to get the girl. Ya know, the incredibly nice guy ends up somehow stealing the sexy bombshell girlfriend from the “jerk” by being so nice and caring and UN-sexual.

What. A. Joke. Lmao.

It didn’t help that I grew up with a mom and two sisters that reinforced those ideas into my head all my life. Somehow I still got hot girlfriends in Highschool and had plenty of sex with them but that’s a very naive time in ones life. Everything’s based on popularity and looks and since I was a star pitcher on the baseball team and had good looks, somehow that made me deserving of hot women at the time, even with a complete blue pill mindset.

That shyt doesn’t fly after Highschool.

Now, as I’m watching tv right now, I’m literally laughing to myself on how beta these male main characters are acting and magically getting good results. I can actually pinpoint all the blue pill bullshyt now and it’s nice to realize and know that I’ve changed and am still changing.

HAHAHA omg this dude on this tv show just asked this girl “if she wanted to be his gf” and gave her a gold necklace he bought her and she was all smiley and said yes. Before that moment he was “best friends” with her, never sexual.

Marketing nowadays changes people’s minds to want things from commercials and the media tells people what’s cool and shapes our reality. This includes movies and tv shows!

I’ve been past the anger phase for awhile now so it’s just hilarious to look back at the things I used to believe to be true about women because it’s just SO the opposite.

Had to rant a little.

 

[Infern0]

What’s funny is that when I was straight blue pill I would watch movies and TV and believe that was how a man was supposed to act to get the girl. Ya know, the incredibly nice guy ends up somehow stealing the sexy bombshell girlfriend from the “jerk” by being so nice and caring and UN-sexual.

What. A. Joke. Lmao.

It didn’t help that I grew up with a mom and two sisters that reinforced those ideas into my head all my life. Somehow I still got hot girlfriends in Highschool and had plenty of sex with them but that’s a very naive time in ones life. Everything’s based on popularity and looks and since I was a star pitcher on the baseball team and had good looks, somehow that made me deserving of hot women at the time, even with a complete blue pill mindset.

That shyt doesn’t fly after Highschool.

Now, as I’m watching tv right now, I’m literally laughing to myself on how beta these male main characters are acting and magically getting good results. I can actually pinpoint all the blue pill bullshyt now and it’s nice to realize and know that I’ve changed and am still changing.

HAHAHA omg this dude on this tv show just asked this girl “if she wanted to be his gf” and gave her a gold necklace he bought her and she was all smiley and said yes. Before that moment he was “best friends” with her, never sexual.

Marketing nowadays changes people’s minds to want things from commercials and the media tells people what’s cool and shapes our reality. This includes movies and tv shows!

I’ve been past the anger phase for awhile now so it’s just hilarious to look back at the things I used to believe to be true about women because it’s just SO the opposite.

Had to rant a little.

I was raised by my mum and she was kind of messed up and had zero idea of how things worked so she used to give me really terrible advice about girls. Funnily enough she also used to try and set me up with unattractive girls and would take an instant dislike to any pretty girls I knew.

She basically tried to make me as passive and useless as possible and wanted me to "settle down" with a fat chick and just work some average job.

Her advice was always "just be there for her, be a good friend" or the classic "tell her how you feel"

When you combine that with what you see in all the rom-coms yeah, you have no chance.

Like you I had some success in school just from being in a popular crew even though I had zero game. After school ended and everyone split off i became very isolated and depressed and just used to get a new oneitis every year or so to whoever was the hottest girl id interact with (even if they were only 6/10s lol)

But I think this is where people eventually find MGTOW or they go the other route. You get angry because you realize the **** you've been told doesn't work and MGTOW is like a haven for guys in the anger stage because it sort of validates you.


Myself i got into MGTOW for a while but then I realized those guys weren't happy, you look around and see guys who DO have a lot of success with women and ARE happy, and you can only listen to Sandman drone on for so long before you start to realize there's flaws in the logic and start looking elsewhere.

 

[MrJack]

I was raised by my mum and she was kind of messed up and had zero idea of how things worked so she used to give me really terrible advice about girls. Funnily enough she also used to try and set me up with unattractive girls and would take an instant dislike to any pretty girls I knew.

She basically tried to make me as passive and useless as possible and wanted me to "settle down" with a fat chick and just work some average job.

Her advice was always "just be there for her, be a good friend" or the classic "tell her how you feel"

When you combine that with what you see in all the rom-coms yeah, you have no chance.

Like you I had some success in school just from being in a popular crew even though I had zero game. After school ended and everyone split off i became very isolated and depressed and just used to get a new oneitis every year or so to whoever was the hottest girl id interact with (even if they were only 6/10s lol)

But I think this is where people eventually find MGTOW or they go the other route. You get angry because you realize the **** you've been told doesn't work and MGTOW is like a haven for guys in the anger stage because it sort of validates you.


Myself i got into MGTOW for a while but then I realized those guys weren't happy, you look around and see guys who DO have a lot of success with women and ARE happy, and you can only listen to Sandman drone on for so long before you start to realize there's flaws in the logic and start looking elsewhere.

Yup my mom and sisters would say the same type of shyt. That combined with blue pill TV logic combined with women in real life telling me “oh I just want someone who’s caring, nice, just a good guy”

And I would actually believe them because my upbringing as well as TV “confirmed” that for me. Then I’d wonder how Chadwick was getting most the girls while my “game” was supposed to be correct.

You’re right in saying that guys like us who grew up like this don’t have a chance in h-e-l-l. How can they? How can they when their personal reality shaped their personality FOR them?

BUT

I’m not crying poor me anymore because now I can and am doing things to redirect myself in the opposite direction. It’s just an incredibly steep uphill battle to literally have to change 20 some years of solidified thought processes.

I’m just glad this community exists, who knows where I’d be without it at this point. Oh wait yea I’d just be kissing girls azzes still while watching Chad effortlessly pull them.

Cheers to all of you.