NHY inspired -

[Desdinova]

Family is his largest problem, they are in control of his life.

Unfortunately, I had to distance myself from my family to keep them from trying to control my life. Standing up to them didn't work because they're stubborn.

The best way I found to deal with my parents was to let them say what they had to say such as "you really should do this, and you really should do that" and basically ignore it. Just nod and say "yeah".

Whenever I try to stand up for myself, they give 'we pay for everything for you ' bullcrap

I had that 5hit too. They'd say, "Look at what I did for you; this, this, this, and this. And this is how you treat me?" They try controlling me by using guilt trips and making me feel like I'm forever in debt to them. I've learned to just shrug it off because I know what they're trying to do.

I was FORCED to watch my father and brother get drunk!

There's a book that I highly recommend your friend to pick up called "Toxic Parents : Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life" by Susan Forward. It gets into detail about dysfunctional families, and helps the reader deal with their past.

 

[NHY]

Hello all,

Its NHY here ( Well, obviously! ) for whom this topic was started for, as it is concerning me, I'll be keeping a close eye on this one ( and this fourm ) for the next few days.

I guess I might as well as add that both my parents came from abusive backgrounds and I know stuff about that well. I really wish I didn't! seems like abuse repeats itself, the cycle alreadys in an early manifestiation in my older brother!

The good thing is I'm only 19, going on 20, that and unlike my family, I'm open - minded to new ideas, even if they make me feel uncomfortable at first! ( like your PM to me yesterday, ethnomethodologist )

There's a book that I highly recommend your friend to pick up called "Toxic Parents : Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life" by Susan Forward. It gets into detail about dysfunctional families, and helps the reader deal with their past.

I'm checking this out at the moment, through a google search, though this is definately one book I'd HAVE to hide should I buy it as I still live at home, unfortately! But alas, as the saying goes ' Educate, so that you may be free '

Thanks

NHY

 

[AbsoluteFreakinChump]

You don't belong here!

Why is this being discussed in the "mature man" forum which is for men 25 & up if you are only 19?
It doesn't matter old "mature" you think you are,
you don't belong in this forum!

 

[NHY]

Re: You don't belong here!

Originally posted by AbsoluteFreakinChump
Why is this being discussed in the "mature man" forum which is for men 25 & up if you are only 19?
It doesn't matter old "mature" you think you are,
you don't belong in this forum!

In case you didn't notice, I DID NOT start this topic but seeing that the person who started it was inspired to do so by me! Theres no rules restricting me in the fourms, are there? Theres no rules against us from visiting the High School fourm, even if your 50, so why would the same apply here?

The whole thing about being 25 & up is only a gosh damned general guide! I have enough trouble in real life bending rules to work for me so shut the hell up!

 

[ElChoclo]

When you don't like your father and he tells you that you can't achieve something, sometimes you set out to prove him wrong.

Later, maybe his motives weren't good, nor his comments, but you find that you got the motivation to succeed from them. Theory exemplified perhaps in the Johnny Cash song, A Boy named Sue.