Newbie in Need of Advice

Seattle76

Don Juan
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Jun 17, 2004
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I'm new to this, so bear with me a bit.

First to set the story:
I'm 27 and got out of a relationship March 2003. This December, I'm back in the game and have not one but two women after me from work. I meet the first one in the presence of the other. We hit it off great, end up in another area of a hotel after a work convention and I wind up at her place. She admitted to me the other was very interested in me. After the first doesn't appear to be working out, I bump into the second at a bar. She's definitely giving me signs. I tell her about the first, and she says she doesn't care, I wind up at her place. My firm is big (2000 in my office) and I don't work with either, so it doesn't seem to be a big deal to me.

Lady #2 is discovered to be a nut. I get rid of her. I later bump into #1 (27 years old) and we have a great conversation. I tell her that what I did with #2 wasn't necessarily great and I'm not proud of it, but I thought at the time #1 and I were done. I end up dating #1 shortly thereafter.

Things are incredible, but she gets pretty clingy pretty quickly. To top it off, I'm working 70 hours a week and feeling drained. We don't hang out much but are exclusive. Physically, I was exhausted, I wasn't seeing friends, and I was barely hanging out with her. I wind up getting sick one night and she wants to take care of me. I wanted to be alone in my place and it takes me literally over an hour to convince her to leave while I'm getting sick half the time in the bathroom. Then she tries to play games over a few weeks, but I don't bite. Finally I end it with her and wind up with mono for a month a week later. It wasn't her that necessarily exhausted me, but she didn't make things worse.

I left it this way: right now we're beating each other up for no good reason. Things aren't good for me. I no time for my friends, no time for her, and I just need to focus on the work and getting things together.

In the mean time, she calls while I'm sick. I get back to work in April and am taking things easy. Through April she pushes to get in touch. After she got back from a 2 week vacation, we start to see more of one another at the beginning of June. We're going to dinner and talking regularly. I made a big mistake last weekend. I admitted I had feelings for her. She went from asking for appointments for back rubs and wanting to cook for me to nothing. This is literally from last week to admission this weekend to nothing this week. A couple hours after the admission, I was checking caller ID before going to sleep and inadvertantly called by hitting the dial button while flipping through numbers. Honestly. I thought I hung up before the call went through, but apparently not. She called back and things on the phone were great. I was supposed to see her with a group on Monday. No call. No return of the emails Wednesday. I'm supposed to see her next Thursday (one week from today) as a belated birthday present. What to do?
 

FratAndDiddy

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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First, it sounds like you work too many hours. this site wont cure your working pains. although youre 27, there's no health future in working these many hours.

second, there's no future in seeing women who you work with. i dont care if the place is 2000 or 20. good way to get fired, especially if a woman has a price tag on your head.

third, i think you need a rest and not a woman at the moment. you are compounding your problems.

so, what i would do is drop them all, get some rest, and look after yourself. working those many hours is hard to find another job, but somehow rest up and find one. consider those 2 women as a learning experience. once your mind is clear, you will feel better about where youre headed.
 

NewMan

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Here's my take...

1) when you were a challenge to her - she wanted you.

2) when you admitted your feelings for her - she now flaked on you and is not as interested.

There's your answer.

Ignore her - move on. Get busy (like you need to right?)

Take a vacation - it sounds like you need one.
 
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