newbeginning's NO CONTACT thread

[newbeginning]

NO CONTACT started 01-16-2011 at 2pm.

BACKGROUND

We dated for 1.5 year, engaged for 1 year. She grew tiresome of my mother living with me. Im going to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she deemed me dependent upon my mother; she is an extremely independent woman and of course found it a turn off. I've gone back and read some of our communication pieces and realized that she had shown much stress over the mother situation and some other things such as:

1. she wanted to move forward with our relationship as i was not as hasty and procrastinated on the marriage (yes, i was the one who proposed and had given her no ring yet)

2. The mother situation didnt get any better, i guess i couldve gotten an apartment close to home for us and then come see my mother once in a while to make sure she's ok.

3. She was very caring, made breakfast/lunch/dinner for me everyday and i didnt do squat to show her my appreciation; no gifts, no outings, no vacation just a simple thank you every morning. I thought that keeping her hot in bed and giving her the "i love you's" are good enough.

So with that said, my goal of NO CONTACT is to bring her back. I know many of you will say to just let it go but i really do think that she is the one. I just screwed up.

THE PLAN
No contact for 2 weeks until i move into a friend's townhome and establish my independence from my mother. I will cook her favorite dinner for the first time and invite her over for dinner to show that i too can be independent. After dinner i will just take her home and that will be that.

My reasoning is that if i want her to come back then i need to fix all the problems in our relationship before even attempting. After that it is all up to her, i will not push, i will not pressure, she will come back on her own accord.

Day 1
Prior to no contact, i texted her and told her that she was right and that the break up is good for both of us and that i was dwelling on the good times we had and not realizing the problems at hand. I wished her well and that was it.

The nights are still lonely and the food still dont taste as good, but i must push on.

 

[Tiguere]

She lost interest in you. When you gaming a woman really well and make her emotionally dependent on you she will be the one wiping your moms butt after she goes to the toilet and she will do it gladly.

But like always love = interest level

And the lower the interest level goes the more shortcomings she starts to see in you.

 

[Tiguere]

When a woman leaves you don't pay attention to her reason just internalized that somehow you couldn't keep her interest level high enough or someone somehow managed to raise her interest level higher than you.

 

[CaptainSK]

no contact...is no contact

I have done no contact 3 times now and it is the most magical formula I found for break ups. I don't think that you should NC her to get her back, but to heal and move on with with life.

But you seem determined so I would advise you wait longer than 2 weeks. Give her time to miss you. In 2 weeks you don't have time to internalize it all... Wait at least 3, better, a good month and more.

What I don't like about your game is you are doing this to impress her, not to heal or deal with internal issues you may have with yourself.

Take the time and work on your inner person, try to be a better man. Not only fake that you're not mamas boy anymore

Whatever you do, do it for the betterment of yourself, not for her. She left you, this means the story is about you now.

Good luck with whatever you try

 

[scorpio1138]

don't contact her at all.

she will contact you if she has any interest left.

 

[Pierce]

Damn. She cooked breakfast lunch and dinner. I wish I had a girl that would do that for me lol. But then again I really love not relying on a girl for anything.

 

[newbeginning]

She was a good woman, no question about that.

I will be doing this for myself. If she gets back with me then she will, if not then i wont bother. I believe chasing after her will only push her away, thus, i'll lay what i have to offer on the table and leave it up to her. No expectations whatsoever. I attracted her once im sure i can do it again given a different atmosphere.

Day 2

I went to see a movie yesterday to keep my mind off of her. As soon as i got home the feelings came back and the bottle of cognac became a good friend of mine. Don't worry, i drank just enough to put me to sleep.

Today seems a little harder than yesterday, i keep thinking of the possibility of her being happy with soemone else. I am slowly accepting the fact that i've done all that i could to salvage the relationship.

A friend of mine says "if its meant to be yours, it will come back to you." I feel better after hearing that; knowing that i f its meant to be then it'll be.

 

[SamTheHobit]

Its been 9 days no contact i feel much better than the first few days, i have my moments when i miss her, they come than they go. well 51 days left of the no contact challenge. See how it goes.

 

[Joe Stud]

Look at it this way: if you kept eating her wonderfully cooked meals every day, you would grow to a fat 300lbs. Now... you can stay in shape. Food is over rated

 

[newbeginning]

Day 3

It's been getting harder and harder by the day. I keep thinking of her and the things that i couldve done prior to the break up to salvage it. She gave so many signs that she was not happy and was stressed out, yet i did not do anything about it until it was too late.

Im going to make a list of negatives in our relationship and hopefully that'll keep my mind off her.

I sat there and thought to myself that maybe i should start meeting other people, that'll take the edge off so when i do see her, there wont be any pressure at all. In other words, i'll have the i dont give a fck attitude when we do see each other.

 

[Masculinity]

She was a good woman, no question about that. She cooked me breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

The EXACT same thing is happening to me. The only difference is I ended it and now I'm going crazy thinking if I did the right thing

Here is my thread:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=181174

 

[SamTheHobit]

My ex broke it off without warning.. Was a big shock.. Even if you dont get back with her time heals all wounds.

 

[newbeginning]

Day 4

Still have a hard time sleeping, cognac to the rescue again.

I listened to some self help (relationship) audio books and to some youtube videos and realized all the mistakes that i had made in our relationship. My game was none-existence. I thought that if i had found the perfect girl and that if she loves me for what i am then that is the exact kind of love i wanted.

Young guys out there, always keep your game on tip top shape even in a long term relationship. Always keep things interesting and show that you are the man in the relationship. Make decisions and stick with them. Take actions instead of mouthing her words of promises.

I will listen to some of you and raise my no contact period to 3 weeks before calling her. Hopefully she wont be moved on by then. My thinking is if she's already moved on with another guy then i guess what we had was not special to begin with, thus not worth the while.

 

[Swift Shadow]

Day 4

Still have a hard time sleeping, cognac to the rescue again.

I listened to some self help (relationship) audio books and to some youtube videos and realized all the mistakes that i had made in our relationship. My game was none-existence. I thought that if i had found the perfect girl and that if she loves me for what i am then that is the exact kind of love i wanted.

Young guys out there, always keep your game on tip top shape even in a long term relationship. Always keep things interesting and show that you are the man in the relationship. Make decisions and stick with them. Take actions instead of mouthing her words of promises.

I will listen to some of you and raise my no contact period to 3 weeks before calling her. Hopefully she wont be moved on by then. My thinking is if she's already moved on with another guy then i guess what we had was not special to begin with, thus not worth the while.

No contact is supposed to help you move forward, if she is still interested and calls you asking to give it another go then it's a bonus but the real reason you should be going no contact is to help you get over her.

 

[ELITE]

The EXACT same thing is happening to me. The only difference is I ended it and now I'm going crazy thinking if I did the right thing

Here is my thread:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=181174

I read this thread yesterday. And you man up, and did the right thing. Dump Her. I got of a LTR 4 months ago she was 1st girl I lived with also. So was kinda hard to get over. I stuck with NC and now im proud I stayed with NC. After a month went by she try to come by get her things kinda be nice. I put all her stuff in front. And told her I dont want to have nothing to do with her. After a few months you'll feel proud and a stronger person you stuck with NC. KEEP IT UP!

 

[ELITE]

Day 4

Still have a hard time sleeping, cognac to the rescue again.

I listened to some self help (relationship) audio books and to some youtube videos and realized all the mistakes that i had made in our relationship. My game was none-existence. I thought that if i had found the perfect girl and that if she loves me for what i am then that is the exact kind of love i wanted.

Young guys out there, always keep your game on tip top shape even in a long term relationship. Always keep things interesting and show that you are the man in the relationship. Make decisions and stick with them. Take actions instead of mouthing her words of promises.

I will listen to some of you and raise my no contact period to 3 weeks before calling her. Hopefully she wont be moved on by then. My thinking is if she's already moved on with another guy then i guess what we had was not special to begin with, thus not worth the while.

You are dwealing on this girl too much! Keep yourself busy with fun things in meanwhile. Try to get out on weekends, meet new girls. Don't expect the same results as same bond with you and your ex had. Just try to talk with more girls now. That will help keep your mind off, do fun things you use to enjoy to do. You might get shyt face and mess up, and dial that phone if you dweal to much. I would just wait if she contacts you give it a month. If you call her in two weeks she might talk to you. But she will probaly do same thing again, if something else goes wrong over nothing. And break up with you eaiser. And play mind games with you. Show her you're not her toy. And not a little boy. And move for yourself and not her. And women will see what you acomplish. Be strong! NC!

 

[scorpio1138]

day 4??

contact her in 3 weeks???

If you want our advice, take it! and do nothing of the sort.

don't contact her at all. leave it up to her.

Be a man and man up.

 

[betheman]

"I will listen to some of you and raise my no contact period to 3 weeks before calling her. Hopefully she wont be moved on by then. My thinking is if she's already moved on with another guy then i guess what we had was not special to begin with, thus not worth the while."

the point of this is what exactly? you will only come off worse, this is a no contact job. if she has any interest in you, she will contact YOU! if you contact her you are losing your dignity, self respect and power. DONT FCKUCKING DO IT

 

[Danton1975]

Regarding "No Contact"

I am going to take a different angle here because many times we use "No Contact" as the magic pill for everything. It is BS. I don't know if "No Contact" would have gotten me back with an Ex when I was in almost the same situation as you are now. What did get us back and in a BIG way was that "I did exactly what I had done in the past to get her attracted to me"

except that this time it was easier because I knew her better. I want you to read that again: "Do exactly what you did in the past that got her attracted to you" It's simple...and not a theory.

 

[ELITE]

[/QUOTE]

I am going to take a different angle here because many times we use "No Contact" as the magic pill for everything. It is BS. I don't know if "No Contact" would have gotten me back with an Ex when I was in almost the same situation as you are now. What did get us back and in a BIG way was that "I did exactly what I had done in the past to get her attracted to me"

except that this time it was easier because I knew her better. I want you to read that again: "Do exactly what you did in the past that got her attracted to you" It's simple...and not a theory. : It could help. Her ego might build up. He gonna feel worse if she does reject him. But at list he will know if she wants him or not. And will be eaiser to move on.