New Guy with Serious Question

[BriniestOak]

OK. Here's my delima. I'm a 32 old divorce man that is trying to get back in the game. Before I was married, I had no game whatsoever and the p***y I got was usually by chance or with someone less desirable. While married, my game improved dramatically since I was studying it (no I wasn't cheating) and not worrying about the next piece I was going to get. Since I've been divorce, I've been really good at getting women usually from the club, around town, or even off the internet; taking them on a date and screwing them on the first date or the next night. Now here's my delima, I have a hard time keeping a woman for very long. Here's an example where I feel like I really screwed up somewhere:

I went out on dates with 2 women this week. The first chick I met on the internet (she was 25) and we ended up meeting for a date. I ended up screwing her the next night. Well she was calling and we talked on the phone for about a week. I usually never called her unless I was calling her back. Well we went out on a second date the next week, where we went to a bar, got something to eat, had a few drinks, but she kept saying she wanted to go to bed early for some reason. So when we got to her place, that was her excuse for now allowing me to come in. Talk to her the next night and I asked about coming over and she just said no with no reason. She called me the next night and I told her I was sleep. Haven't heard from her since and I threw her number away. Now the second chick (she was 39) was a similar issue. I met her at the club and although we had talked on the phone sparingly, we didn't get a chance to hook up on a date. She called me really late one night and wanted to come to my place where we ended up having sex. Well we finally hooked up and went out on a nice dinner date with a walk in the park afterwards. Now as we were heading back to my place, she mentions that she wants to go work out and only want to stay for a few minutes. Well, we get back to the room, have a pretty good conversation, and I went over to kiss her and try to hold her. She tells me that she doesn't want have sex or be touched. I'm like WTF.

I don't know if it was the first time sex. I do suffer from pre-mature ejaculation sometimes which happened with these girls, but I do make it up with a lot of oral (the first girl came twice and the second came once from oral) and a lot of foreplay.

Or if they found a flaw in my personality. My confidence wasn't as high as on the first date, but it was still high.

Or if this was just some kind of game that women play sometimes. I've had this happen before, but I really don't know how to respond to it.

I've gotten to the point where I am great at closing but horrible at keeping them. I need to tighten up on this part of my game.

Any suggestions???

 

[scordate]

well, you get what you get !

you got laid quick and this IMHO is somehow counterproductive to LTR's

the 25 year old could be just flimsy and gotten other interests; next her dont worry keeping the attention of a 25 year old is hard

the 39 year old is playing games; she wants to let you know that getting laid is not a sure thing, but since she initiated the first time you should keep her on your list

remember be cool about her rejections

ok she said; no touching at your app. but wernt there any touching before that time ? no KINO ?
no flirting KINO ? big mistake on your part

then you took her word as the gospel; she says no, lean back & talk, try again with some lesser KINO

she might even be afraid that every single kiss will lead into getting laid and hey; sometimes getting laid is not what she wants just that particular evening

/ scordate

 

[Chrispy]

BriniestOak, welcome aboard this site. Where do regular dates fit in, like taking her out to dinner or having some kind of entertainment? Especially with the one you had sex with pretty fast...assuming you want to see the person again. Maybe mixing it up a bit will help you dispell the idea that those girls think you only want sex (even if that's true ).

 

[BriniestOak]

Update!

Thank for your replies. Here is an update. The 25 yo just called me tonight to talk. After about 5 minutes of talking, I asked her about coming to see her. She said something about just wanting to be by herself...in other words no. My first thought was to cut the converstion short and get off of the phone, but I decided to try something different and stay on and talk to her for a while. We talked for about 2 and a half hours just conversating with no talk of sex. Well, after 2 and a half hours, I made thes mistake of asking to come see her again. Of course the answer was no. I then proceed to ask when we could see each other. She said maybe next week which to me was a typical "blow off" answer. I've run into this before, where I will hook up with a woman once or twice, she stops wanting to hook up, but she will continue to call me. After a while, I get tired of it and tell her I'm busy everytime she calls until she eventually stops. I'm trying to figure out why women do this.

1. Has lost interest but likes my conversation so she's trying to put me in the friend zone.

2. Trying to test me to see if all I want is sex. The 25 yo did mention that I liked sex a lot. Who doesn't.

3. Has interest in somebody that won't give her good conversation, so she is using me for that.

4. Other.

I usually try to end this pretty quickly due to an issue way back in HS where a chick I had screwed a day after I met her, stopped wanting to hook up, but continued to call almost every day wanting to talk. I was a total AFC then, so I continued to talk to her and would ask to see her and of course her response was no. I found out she had started screwing one of my friends while she was still calling me. So now when I see that happening, I just end it. Any suggestions about what's going on here or how to handle it besides just ending it.

 

[scordate]

to BriniestOak

great that she called you good sign

HOWEVER !

when she calls you; whaddya do ?

YOU take the lead:

"hi betty, sure I remember you - i really enjoyed our last get-together - i was just going out when you rang but how about getting together tomorrow, but I gotta tell you up front; there will be no sex this time so you better behave yourself <big laugh !> "

you ONLY use the phone for making dates

and BTW "can I come over" "should I come over" is AFC talk

the fact that she called is NOT = booty call pr. definition

she called then you take the lead !

good luck

/ scordate

 

[al77]

Re: Update!

Originally posted by BriniestOak
I asked her about coming to see her. She said something about just wanting to be by herself...in other words no. My first thought was to cut the converstion short and get off of the phone, but I decided to try something different and stay on and talk to her for a while. We talked for about 2 and a half hours just conversating with no talk of sex.
Well, after 2 and a half hours, I made thes mistake of asking to come see her again. Of course the answer was no. I then proceed to ask when we could see each other.

She said maybe next week which to me was a typical "blow off" answer. I've run into this before, where I will hook up with a woman once or twice, she stops wanting to hook up, but she will continue to call me.

a) She simply framed this as ONS since you had sex soon. Had sex once, no strings attached - thats it. She doens see how ONS can be converted into something else.

b) She senses your AFC part when you ask her for permission too much: Can I come...When will I see you.. etc
She probably got turn off because of that.
Just

c) if you let her talk to you for 2 hours on the phone, she automaticlly LBJF you. Never, never talk for so long time on the phone: suggest at least something very simple: "Lets get together for icecream there is a cool shop next to you place - you didn't know icecream is conducive to a happy mood and a good talk?"