Well, if you guys sometimes leave your car at home and let your date do the driving maybe this post will make you think twice. And after my experience, that would be a good thing.
On a date, I usually don’t leave my ride behind. I like to be in control in the mobility department. But on this particular date, I decided to leave it behind and of course, it was a bad idea.
Several weeks ago, I met a broad named Michelle, through my cousin’s wife, Rea.
The very next day, Rea called me up and told me that Michelle was interested in me and wanted me to have her number. I asked Rea to give me the low down on her (Rea is guy-like cool).
Anyway, Rea told me that Michelle had recently broke up with her boyfriend and father of her baby, Steve. Rea was interested in Michelle getting over the daddy and was relieved at the prospect of her moving on with any one. So I decided to call her up hoping that Michelle would want to screw away the memories of the guy. Eventually we went on our first date a couple of days after first speaking on the phone.
The first time I went over her house to visit her, Michelle seemed preoccupied and down. I asked her what was wrong a couple of times but she answered “nothing.” I decided to leave shortly thereafter.
The same night, Rea called me and told me that Michelle was disappointed that I left so early. “She asked me if you were gay or something,” Rea said. It was funny to recognize this ******** from Pook’s post. I laughed it off and told Rea what happened. Rea explained that Michelle was still dealing with the break-up with her ex.
My brother, who was over at the time, told me that I would just be babysitting Michelle and that it probably wouldn’t be worth all the trouble for the sex. Anyway, I went over a few days later and screwed her.
Unfortunately, I was just getting warmed up before she lightly pushed me off top of her and began to look just as upset as she did the first night I came over. I thought of a reason to leave.
She called me again a couple of days later asking if we would get another chance to “intertwine” like we did the other night. I said, “you never know.” She asked me why did I respond like that. I told her that she seemed to be preoccupied with other matters. Then she started telling me how her boyfriend just began cheating on her and how she wanted him to be her husband someday…I cut that $#!T short. I can’t do sob stories.
I told her I would talk to her later. Well, she continued to call and she convinced me to come and visit again. Before long, she was banging me like it would be her last bang and she gave me that much enthusiasm every round. The only problem was that she would, every now and then, have the sad look and look like she was in deep thought. I would just think of a reason to leave once she got like that.
I did spend the night on a couple of occasions when she was upbeat. At least I was getting something from her just as she was getting something from me and through this whole time she had never even been to my house.
Well, last night she called me and asked if I wanted to go to the movies. I said “yes” before we hung up but I had just got back from a long drive this weekend and didn’t feel like driving. I began to contemplate letting her drive this time but I didn’t want to give her the control over the mobility and show her where I lived. I didn’t have that much against showing her where I lived but I had gotten away with it this far so why not keep it up, I thought. After all, what if she decided to show up when I had someone else over? She already told me she busted her ex over his other broad’s house.
I decided to have her pick me up but I told her to pick me up at a spot that was two blocks away from my home. It was a mistake, of course, but I thought, “this one time is no big deal, Spank.”
Well, we went to the movies. While there she gave me one of the best hand-jobs that I can remember. The theater was moderately crowded too. We both were “playing around” with each other in the theater and by the time we made it back to her house, we were so horny that we immediately got undressed for some wild sex.
Not long after the sex, that sad look grew on her face later. I figured she still was very much in love with this guy and even though she wanted revenge, she still somehow felt guilty (my theory). I don’t know what it was but she was starting to bring me down just by witnessing her behavior. I decided to next her at this point. After a while, I got dressed and leave (I had my reason to leave and I liked it.) She began to ask me why I was leaving. I told her that it was nothing and I just had to get up in the morning. She continued to ask me what was wrong. I gave her the same answer. She then began to raise her voice loud. When I reached the front door she yelled “well, f*ck, Steve…” I turned around and glanced at her. (My name is Spanky-Steve is her ex’s name; remember?).
She ran up to me and buried her face in my chest and began to apologize and got a little teary-eyed. I told her that she didn’t need to apologize but I needed to go home and that I would talk to her later. She asked me why? (We had talked about this stuff before but she still wanted to play dumb). I began to walk down the stairs before I remembered that I left the Spank De Ville at home. So I cursed myself as I went back upstairs and asked her to drive me back home which was quite a bit away. After pleading with me for a good while to stay, she offered me to take her car and just return it to her later. I recognized this as a ploy to get me over her house again and declined the offer. Eventually we got in her car and drove off.
She kept asking me what was wrong. I kept telling her nothing since I had discussed this topic with her before the last time I left. She really could be very quiet sad and down-looking at times. It had got to a point that the sex wasn’t even worth all of this. All of a sudden she began screaming like a psycho woman “Spanky, You better tell me what the f*ck is wrong or I am going to kick your azz out of my car!” At this point, it was raining and thundering pretty tough outside. I knew that my ass wasn’t going to get out of a car into a thunderstorm off of the highway in the middle of nowhere so I decided to remain calm and talk her down like a police negotiator.
“Michelle, just calm down. I just need to go home and get ready for a long day. We will talk later.
“Spanky, I will kick you out of this damn car into the f*cking storm!” She began to drive even faster on the expressway. I told her to slow down and she did. "I can just slap your azz,"
she screamed. All I thought was "Spank, just keep her calm enough to get you close enough to home."
It was risky but I refused to get out on the highway in the middle of a storm.
If that wasn’t enough to freak me out, the b*tch started screaming all sorts of threats at the top of her lungs one moment and the next moment she would be pleading in a softened emotional voice for me to come back to her house. “Spanky, just come back to my house so we can talk…Motherf*cker, you are f*cking with the wrong person!”
I began to wonder if this was the worse case of needy and clingy I have ever experienced.
We continued the whole ride in this manner- One moment she would scream and yell threats, the next she would be trying to talk calm. The whole time I just talked to her in a calm manner so she wouldn’t do any thing crazy.
As soon as she got off at the exit close to my home, I told her just to pull over on the side of the street and I would get a ride from there. She finally did. As I got out of the car, she called my name in that pathetic pleading voice once more. I ignored it and immediately called my buddy to come and scoop me up.
Once I got home, Rea called me and told me Michelle called her. She asked me what happened. I told her the whole story. She said, “See, Michelle has to stop acting like that.” I asked her to explain.
She said, “She does that crazy $#!T; that is why her ex left her azz. Eventually, she find out he was cheating and went over to the house where the woman he was cheating with lived and bust out all of his car windows and bust a couple of the woman’s house windows. I told her that he would never come back if she acted like that.”
“Don’t you think you should have told me that when I first met her?” I asked.
From now on, no more rebound-sex rumps for me. If they are getting over a relationship, I am staying away. And I definitely will not leave my car at home any more. I always lived by this rule and the second I bend it- BOOM!
Needless to say, I won’t be going on any more dates from hell with Michelle.
On a date, I usually don’t leave my ride behind. I like to be in control in the mobility department. But on this particular date, I decided to leave it behind and of course, it was a bad idea.
Several weeks ago, I met a broad named Michelle, through my cousin’s wife, Rea.
The very next day, Rea called me up and told me that Michelle was interested in me and wanted me to have her number. I asked Rea to give me the low down on her (Rea is guy-like cool).
Anyway, Rea told me that Michelle had recently broke up with her boyfriend and father of her baby, Steve. Rea was interested in Michelle getting over the daddy and was relieved at the prospect of her moving on with any one. So I decided to call her up hoping that Michelle would want to screw away the memories of the guy. Eventually we went on our first date a couple of days after first speaking on the phone.
The first time I went over her house to visit her, Michelle seemed preoccupied and down. I asked her what was wrong a couple of times but she answered “nothing.” I decided to leave shortly thereafter.
The same night, Rea called me and told me that Michelle was disappointed that I left so early. “She asked me if you were gay or something,” Rea said. It was funny to recognize this ******** from Pook’s post. I laughed it off and told Rea what happened. Rea explained that Michelle was still dealing with the break-up with her ex.
My brother, who was over at the time, told me that I would just be babysitting Michelle and that it probably wouldn’t be worth all the trouble for the sex. Anyway, I went over a few days later and screwed her.
Unfortunately, I was just getting warmed up before she lightly pushed me off top of her and began to look just as upset as she did the first night I came over. I thought of a reason to leave.
She called me again a couple of days later asking if we would get another chance to “intertwine” like we did the other night. I said, “you never know.” She asked me why did I respond like that. I told her that she seemed to be preoccupied with other matters. Then she started telling me how her boyfriend just began cheating on her and how she wanted him to be her husband someday…I cut that $#!T short. I can’t do sob stories.
I told her I would talk to her later. Well, she continued to call and she convinced me to come and visit again. Before long, she was banging me like it would be her last bang and she gave me that much enthusiasm every round. The only problem was that she would, every now and then, have the sad look and look like she was in deep thought. I would just think of a reason to leave once she got like that.
I did spend the night on a couple of occasions when she was upbeat. At least I was getting something from her just as she was getting something from me and through this whole time she had never even been to my house.
Well, last night she called me and asked if I wanted to go to the movies. I said “yes” before we hung up but I had just got back from a long drive this weekend and didn’t feel like driving. I began to contemplate letting her drive this time but I didn’t want to give her the control over the mobility and show her where I lived. I didn’t have that much against showing her where I lived but I had gotten away with it this far so why not keep it up, I thought. After all, what if she decided to show up when I had someone else over? She already told me she busted her ex over his other broad’s house.
I decided to have her pick me up but I told her to pick me up at a spot that was two blocks away from my home. It was a mistake, of course, but I thought, “this one time is no big deal, Spank.”
Well, we went to the movies. While there she gave me one of the best hand-jobs that I can remember. The theater was moderately crowded too. We both were “playing around” with each other in the theater and by the time we made it back to her house, we were so horny that we immediately got undressed for some wild sex.
Not long after the sex, that sad look grew on her face later. I figured she still was very much in love with this guy and even though she wanted revenge, she still somehow felt guilty (my theory). I don’t know what it was but she was starting to bring me down just by witnessing her behavior. I decided to next her at this point. After a while, I got dressed and leave (I had my reason to leave and I liked it.) She began to ask me why I was leaving. I told her that it was nothing and I just had to get up in the morning. She continued to ask me what was wrong. I gave her the same answer. She then began to raise her voice loud. When I reached the front door she yelled “well, f*ck, Steve…” I turned around and glanced at her. (My name is Spanky-Steve is her ex’s name; remember?).
She ran up to me and buried her face in my chest and began to apologize and got a little teary-eyed. I told her that she didn’t need to apologize but I needed to go home and that I would talk to her later. She asked me why? (We had talked about this stuff before but she still wanted to play dumb). I began to walk down the stairs before I remembered that I left the Spank De Ville at home. So I cursed myself as I went back upstairs and asked her to drive me back home which was quite a bit away. After pleading with me for a good while to stay, she offered me to take her car and just return it to her later. I recognized this as a ploy to get me over her house again and declined the offer. Eventually we got in her car and drove off.
She kept asking me what was wrong. I kept telling her nothing since I had discussed this topic with her before the last time I left. She really could be very quiet sad and down-looking at times. It had got to a point that the sex wasn’t even worth all of this. All of a sudden she began screaming like a psycho woman “Spanky, You better tell me what the f*ck is wrong or I am going to kick your azz out of my car!” At this point, it was raining and thundering pretty tough outside. I knew that my ass wasn’t going to get out of a car into a thunderstorm off of the highway in the middle of nowhere so I decided to remain calm and talk her down like a police negotiator.
“Michelle, just calm down. I just need to go home and get ready for a long day. We will talk later.
“Spanky, I will kick you out of this damn car into the f*cking storm!” She began to drive even faster on the expressway. I told her to slow down and she did. "I can just slap your azz,"
she screamed. All I thought was "Spank, just keep her calm enough to get you close enough to home."
It was risky but I refused to get out on the highway in the middle of a storm.
If that wasn’t enough to freak me out, the b*tch started screaming all sorts of threats at the top of her lungs one moment and the next moment she would be pleading in a softened emotional voice for me to come back to her house. “Spanky, just come back to my house so we can talk…Motherf*cker, you are f*cking with the wrong person!”
I began to wonder if this was the worse case of needy and clingy I have ever experienced.
We continued the whole ride in this manner- One moment she would scream and yell threats, the next she would be trying to talk calm. The whole time I just talked to her in a calm manner so she wouldn’t do any thing crazy.
As soon as she got off at the exit close to my home, I told her just to pull over on the side of the street and I would get a ride from there. She finally did. As I got out of the car, she called my name in that pathetic pleading voice once more. I ignored it and immediately called my buddy to come and scoop me up.
Once I got home, Rea called me and told me Michelle called her. She asked me what happened. I told her the whole story. She said, “See, Michelle has to stop acting like that.” I asked her to explain.
She said, “She does that crazy $#!T; that is why her ex left her azz. Eventually, she find out he was cheating and went over to the house where the woman he was cheating with lived and bust out all of his car windows and bust a couple of the woman’s house windows. I told her that he would never come back if she acted like that.”
“Don’t you think you should have told me that when I first met her?” I asked.
From now on, no more rebound-sex rumps for me. If they are getting over a relationship, I am staying away. And I definitely will not leave my car at home any more. I always lived by this rule and the second I bend it- BOOM!
Needless to say, I won’t be going on any more dates from hell with Michelle.
