Nervousness

[De La Soul]

"You can have anything you can imagine yourself as having." - Henry Ford

The trick is to LET yourself have it. The main thing that gets in the way of so many people achieving what they want with women is their fear, otherwise known as 'nervousness'or 'fear of rejection'.
Here are my tips for combatting the more immediate type of fear, nervousness:

-Use the 3 second rule! If you see a girl you like the look of, go up and talk to her within 3 seconds.

-You can imagine yourself as someone like John Wayne or James Bond to make yourself feel super-suave

-Remind yourself that "human potential is limitless and that you can have anything you can imagine yourself as having; all you have to do is stop putting road-blocks for yourself in your mind. Because. in the end, they are only in your mind."

-If you're going on a date make sure you look your best. Don't be afraid to use hair-gel (just don't put on too much or you'll end up looking like an elvis impersanator)

-Play some music to pump yourself up!

-If you're at a party, act like you're the host; talk to as many people as possible

-Stop caring about what everyone else thinks/might be thinking!

-Remember that women are not your whole life, just a small facet of it, so take control and don't take their ****!

[This message has been edited by De La Soul (edited 03-15-2002).]

 

[MrValmont]

Yo that's some good points. Plus if you think and know in your mind that the girl ur going 2 talk 2 is lucky for u 2 pay her attention you'll do just find.

------------------
I am the game

 

[De La Soul]

True. But I wouldn't pin my hopes on that thought alone.

 

[Trickster_guy_2001]

I doubt that this You can have anything you imagine" is truly real. There is no way this can always happen.

"I want to have the ability to become invisible, so I can walk into girls locker rooms."

Now imagining this happen, and getting it to happen are entirely different things. It WILL NEVER happen.

Human potential DOES have limits, and imagining it any other way, is I think, absurd.

Say you are a "nice guy." An AFC. You try and try and try to get dates, but, simply NO WOMEN will go out with you. Imagining yourself getting a date is not enough.

Even if you change, there will be women, no matter how many tricks you try on them, how "suave" you think you are, who will drop you on your butt. Sometimes, no matter how much you "change" or what manipulation you try and pull, or how much you IMAGINE you two going out, it will not happen.

But yes, it's good to try new things. Don't get me wrong. Say you are a student film maker. you have all kinds of obsticles in your way (low budget, no actors, lack of time due to high school/college, unexpected delays, etc) You WISH you were Spielberg. You WISH you had his money, his power. But guess what? Even Spielberg has his limits, has his filming problems (Tempermental actors, dealing with all the stricts rules from unions of all kinds, etc).

Just felt you all needed clarification.

 

[1utfan1]

"-Play some music to pump yourself up!"

This helps me get into the right mindset quite well! good tip!

------------------
"Keep the lie alive"
"Things go well I might be showing her my O face"

 

[De La Soul]

I disagree with you Trickster. Yes, I guess human potential does have limits but not foreseeable limits. I mean, Einstein said that humans only use 10% of their brains and as far as I am concerned he is 100% correct. If we could even learn to master 15% of how brain imagine the possibilities! (forget the other 85% for now)

Sure human potential does have limits, but for moast people they set limits for themselves (subconsciously) which are much lower than what they are actually capable of.. The thing with the human mind is that you have 2 parts:

The first part is like the computer of your brain, if you program it with the necessary information (AND ONLY THE NECESSARY INFORMATION) you can achieve anything (OK, trickster we cant make ourselves invisible...yet).

However, the second part of the mind is what ultimately controls whether you succeed or not, the ego. The ego is the part of the mind which clutters your in-built computer with un-necessary information The ego feeds your mind with un-necessary info about past experiences, possible future experiences, how people might be looking at you etc. and this is essentially what will ruin your chances with anything (if you let your ego take control).

Let me give you an example. In a game of football when you need to make a tackle, you will execute the tackle most effectively if you clear your mind of all useless info and let your brain's computer take control. If you feed your mind with useless information about the person you are about to tackle (size, expression on face, what could happen, what has happened in the past) or the conditions (it's raining, I'm tired) your brain's computer will respond by making you swing your arm wildly and the guy who should be half unconscious on the ground will shoot past for a touchdown. This is because when you fed your brain with all the extra info it got confused, and presumed you were scared and needed safety so you swung your arms innefectively, not being able to recall the necessary info. If you had just fed your brain with the necesssary info such as the direction and velocity of the person running you would have made a good tackle (if you have practiced tackling your 'computer' will automatically recall the technique, you don't have to think about it).

The same can be said when approaching a woman. If you feed your 'computer' with useless info about a woman's appearance, her friends, what could happen, what has happened in the past etc you WILL FAULTER. You don't have to feed your brain with any other info other than smile, initiate kino, make eye contact, be the man. If you do this you will get the girl (unless there are extra-ordinary circumstances e.g. she is a lesbian).

So, trickster its not just about imagining its about feeding your mind with, pure, necessary information and NOTHING ELSE! Maybe humans could become invisible if they didnt have such deeply ingrained doubts (I know it's a long shot, but that's the most extreme example possible).

I also believe this is why the 3 second rule works. Because you don't have time to let your ego intefere.

I just thought I should clarify THAT for all of you because it's very important. If you can master your ego so that it lives only in the present and only delivers messages to your brain containing useful information with no self-doubt, fear or references to the past/future. You will succeed.

(Thanks go to Hugh de Lacy and Grant Fox for inspiring me in that post)

[This message has been edited by De La Soul (edited 03-19-2002).]

 

[CobraGT]

De La Soul, very wise words. Trickster_guy_2001, search for topics in this forum on acting "as if." We don't recognize limits. We recognize challenges and take action accordingly.

CobraGT

 

[De La Soul]

Hmm I might have to give my last post a thread of its own....

[This message has been edited by De La Soul (edited 05-24-2002).]