Need your opinion on this

[Macki]

Hello guys! I'm new here, how are you?

So, I met a very nice girl some months ago.. She studies in my school but in another town, so we contact mostly through internet [NO, this is not internet love, it's just a way of contacting]. She showed some signs of being interested so I decided to see what it is all about and we started chatting more often. As the time passed by, I got more and more signs but I also returned some of the signs and it was pretty much a harmless flirt. But, like a month and a half ago, it went into something more serious, we exchange numbers and we've been calling each other, sending SMS's etc almost every day.. But, I still wasn't sure if there was any interest in her, so I asked a friend and explained the situation, and her advice was that "you ignore her questions about being in love in your jokey way" which kind of got me thinking.. Yeah, she's asked me a lot of times about love, girls, etc, we even shared our experiences some time ago (on her suggestion), but my saying no (to being in love) didn't look like playing with her or making fun of the questions. So, I started showing some signs of being in love (not directly to her, but she got the message) so she instantly asked me if I was in love, who's the girl etc.. I said something like I don't know if I'm in love either, so as not to make her feel too bad or too dominant (but maybe I made a mistake anyway).. Also, whenever we speak about love, she seems to oddly change the subject, as in love is not my thing.. "It can be very nice to have it, but I don't..". A couple of nights afterwards, her being interested in what I'm doing, asked me how's my big online radio thing going, and I said it's almost ready, you can come and see it.. so she of course accepted and I played some songs that I've seen her like and some that we both agree we love.. pretty much all romantic songs.. and she brought it up again, that I'm in love because of the songs..

Lately, really, we've been talking literally every day.. She's mentioned it a million times that she doesn't like starting chat conversations first and that she prefers others to start it.. Which is okay by me, we talk almost every time we are both online, with good fun, jokes, teasing, compliments, suggestions.. but, sometimes she simply tries to knock off the interest which is on her face. I also noticed that she at times does seem in love, and I don't see her being close with any of the guys in her neighbourhood/school.. they are friends of course, but she's much more relaxed with me.. Also, her best friend seems to tease her about me all the time..

So, I was wondering.. She's from another town, yeah, but who cares.. not really a problem for me.. According to all conversations we've had so far, she really does seem interested, but I don't know how to react.. For some time I had been really interested and really wanted to know if she actually was interested, but I decided I should lay it off a bit, let her start the conversation, sort of ignore her.. In order to have her both prove that she's interested and perhaps increase that interest.. it's been working fine so far, but I don't know where I should take it.. I'll meet her in some time, and I want to be definite by then. YES, or NO.

Give me your advice, opinion, whatever.. Thanks for your time and have a nice day!

 

[tafakna]

For some time I had been really interested and really wanted to know if she actually was interested, but I decided I should lay it off a bit, let her start the conversation, sort of ignore her.. In order to have her both prove that she's interested and perhaps increase that interest.. it's been working fine so far, but I don't know where I should take it.. I'll meet her in some time, and I want to be definite by then. YES, or NO.

She is obviously still reluctant. Keep playing hot and cold and remaining unpredictable. Showing signs of being in love is not very wise, but it's not nearly as bad as saying it. You have to let her wondering, that's how attraction helps (by not being sure if you can get someone else) and that's what will move her past her reluctance.

Keep doing what you're doing instead of forcing a decision. Keep giving her the time of her life when you hang out and check if progress is being made.

 

[alwayslead8821]

Stop thinking is she interested! That will not help you at all, you send out AFC vibes(lacking confidence). If you like her just assume attraction and you send out the right vibes. Be confident and keep reading the stuff on here man. Also make sure that every once in awhile you wait till she calls, you do not want to slowly have a power shift were all the sudden you are doing all the calling texting. That is not what men do. Goodluck man and keep reading stuff on here...

 

[schttrj]

First of all, stop writing so long posts...

Secondly, ACT, never react! Learn how to be a MAN, how to create attraction and how to keep an everlasting impression on her.

Thirdly, you can NEVER seduce every girl or woman. Just increase the success rate.

Ron.

 

[Macki]

@tafakna, Thank you, I also think the hot-cold thing is the best way to go, at least until we really meet.
@alwayslead8821, Maybe you are right, but if I do anything, I want to be suree that it is the right person, don't want to make mistakes etc, that's why it's important to me if she's interested (although I do try to think if yes - good if no - okay)
@schttrj, Okay

Thank you all. I'd appreciate more opinions )

 

[tafakna]

@tafakna, Thank you, I also think the hot-cold thing is the best way to go, at least until we really meet.

Girls quite often keep fishing for feedback, asking questions to know how involved you are. Keep ignoring a direct answer like your friend instructed you to.

I read your post once again. I do think that you spend a lot of time getting to know her by phone/internet. You do have to start trying to escalate things, even if slowly, to meet this girl.

Only spending time together (physically) and looking eye to eye can make things really go forward.

Best of luck.

 

[Macki]

Girls quite often keep feeding for feedback, asking questions to know how involved you are. Keep ignoring a direct answer like your friend instructed you to.

I read your post once again. I do think that you spend a lot of time getting to know her by phone/internet. You do have to start trying to escalate things, even if slowly, to meet this girl.

Only spending time together (physically) and looking eye to eye can make things really go forward.

Best of luck.

We're going to meet pretty soon, and yes, I agree with the last thing, that's why I wanted to be kind of more sure before doing anything in real.. Right now, I can do the hot-cold thing forever, but if I want any progress, it is essential to have a meeting in which I'll know what's her position and what to do.

A couple of days I had some thoughts that this will never work out, either because of her not being interested, or because of the distance.. But truly, there's no reason not to have it work out.. The distance is no problem, and she does seem REALLY interested..

Thank you again.

 

[AMDG]

and she does seem REALLY interested..

If that's so, let her contact you for a change and let her set up the details for the meeting. You may save yourself time and resources if she turns up to be an AW in need of an ego fix. In my experience the girls who are interested are pushing for a closure.

 

[Macki]

If that's so, let her contact you for a change and let her set up the details for the meeting. You may save yourself time and resources if she turns up to be an AW in need of an ego fix. In my experience the girls who are interested are pushing for a closure.

She's definitely not an AW nor any kind of egoistic person.. and not pushing for a closure.. trust me

And about the meeting, that's already done

 

[AMDG]

And about the meeting, that's already done

Are you in a relationship by now ?

 

[Macki]

No, but I know when and where I'll meet her and that's pretty soon..

Although, I thought about this, wouldn't the hot-cold thing make things a little wrong? Like, when after being cold I go a little hot and she starts to be cold?

 

[AMDG]

she starts to be cold?

Again, when a woman is interested she will never be cold. That is from my personal experience and is valid for vastly different women, from virgins looking for marriage to girls interested in sex no strings attached.

When a woman starts to be cold she wants to have control of the frame. If she's not ultimately interested you can raise the IL for a while but it's no use ( for example when a woman looks for an AFC provider and realises your true nature after the a while, tries to change you and after that bails out ).

 

[Macki]

Doesn't make sense to me. It's logical for her to be hot-cold.

 

[AMDG]

It's logical for her to be hot-cold.

It's an instinct for women

 

[Macki]

NOW I don't understand you.. ?

 

[pvf94]

The absolute best thing you can do right now is slowly cut back on the phone/iming so much then when its light to moderate banter back and forth via phone/internet arrange to hangout. You HAVE to do this, you HAVE to hangout with her, the only way you can be sure of her interest in you is IN person. I say to cut the chat down a bit to get her to think of you MORE, and ultimately get you on her mind more often wondering what your up to, what your doing, who your with, what is taking up so much of your time, why you aren't so clingy, it will drive her slightly nuts wondering....but the best part is that you made plans to HANG. She will hang on this fact and ultimately keep in mind "Ok, he's not talking as much, but we are going to hangout so its ok." And this vicious cycle will repeat in her mind day in day out until you do hangout.


AVOID showing her signs of LOVE, this is much easier for her to read then you may think and it comes off as strange if you haven't spent any sort of significant time with her. Men are usually the ones that "fall in love at first sight" not woman, it is un-attractive/clingy/needy in most all woman's eyes unless they are pigs that can't get somebody to save their life...therefore the sudden attention is a godsend to them and they EAT it up (not a fat joke) lol.


What woman say, and what woman do are 2 COMPLETELY different things. If you get a warm receptive feel from her I'd say your in good with her. Look out for the common things such as.....

Deep eye contact
Her touching you during conversation (or better yet get into a tickle war/play fight) - easier then you think. Tell her something along the lines that ends with "or else....." 9 times outta 10 they will say "or else what?" you reply with a variant of "I'll beat you up" in which she should reply with something that enables you to lightly tap her on the arm with your fist....she will reciprocate in most cases if shes even moderately interested in you....the point is MAKE IT FUN, this can escalate into a full on wrestling match if you let it. And nothing gets you closer to her then touch and laughter.

I could go on with body language but I mean, you can tell if somebody is being open and receptive to your touch....in any case escalate, escalate, escalate! At the very least you should be able to kiss her when you hangout.

She may also...

want to hangout again by HER recommendation. (if you showed her a good time)

If you don't hear any garbage about "lets be friends" or whatever great! If you do please for the love of god drop her like a hot potato bubbling with animal crap in it, it will be better for you in the long run.

Do not confess your feelings to her, that is her job. Once she does you can go from there, don't ask her to be "boyfriend/girlfriend/exclusive/dating/a couple" she will do this on her own when the time comes it comes, if it doesn't she wasn't interested in you that way.

And the whole "Love isn't for me" thing is bullsh!t. Unless she's a cold hearted dragon beast of a b!tch she is capable of love...better yet feel good knowing you are the one that is capable of making her feel that emotion if you play your cards right and don't chump it up.

Good luck.

 

[Bobby Rio]

Stop talking about love... until you've been having sex with a girl for a few months- love shoulld NOT be on your mind.

Make your damn move already.. and don't do it verbally. Ask her to hang out... and then grow some balls and go for the kiss. But do not talk about your feelings to her. Just flirt, be playful, and get phsyical

 

[Macki]

Thank you for the advices. Although, I think that planning a meeting might be a bit harder since we live in different cities, and also we are definitely going to meet in two months.. So what do you suggest for the "hangout" thing?

 

[AMDG]

NOW I don't understand you.. ?

It means it's natural for a girl to try to control the frame. Post here if you have moved from the message realm to the physical one

 

[pvf94]

lol 2 months? How far apart are you mile wise? Jeesh haha.