Need some ideas on this

[xs_]

Hi, a newbie here. I came across these website/forums a couple weeks back and the information is invaluable :yes:

There is an issue I figure I could use some feedback on from the more experienced :box: . Now if reading this makes you face-palm, keep in mind I do realize I've got a lot to learn, and am here to do so and get out there and improve myself.

So I met this girl at the end of summer. I liked her, so started flirting with her and pretty much had her in bed. Due to the circumstances I didn't do her (a combination of little privacy, and dead tiredness..). It didn't matter, I had a good time and I was happy with that. I txtd her few days later, she instantly calls me back, invites me to a her friends bday party at the end of the week. I said ok, but want see her sooner so and set up a 'date' for the next day.

This is where I started screwing up, I decided since I didn't go for the o.n.s I'd rather date her for bit. School was starting and I only had 1 class so it seemed like a good opportunity.We met, I ended up bringing my "nicer" side, .. face-palm. The date itself was all right actually.
I didn't call her afterwards, figured I'd see her at the party, she sent me the details a few days later. But she ended up bailing out of it (some headache bs), I tried to see her again the next week - some more excuses so I said fuk it.

Now she started going to my school in sep, and I get a msg a week into classes asking if I'm around the next day, I tell her to call me around X PM. No call, a few days later I msg her asking why she's avoiding me, get more BS, and decide to forget it.

Closer to the end of the semester (dec) I noticed she was at the bottom of my msgs, so I ask her how she's doin. blah blah, I offer to chat in person sometime over a coffee - NO.

Now I get a txt last week, around 1am, approx.: "how were the exams".
> "all right, what r u up this late"
"too lazy to go to sleep"
> "so sitting there thinking about me?"
"No actually editing some sht for someone" (BS)
> "ic, so how u doin? I didnt really expect to get any msgs from you"
bombs me with like 4 msgs .. "wow u have little faith in me" (jokingly), "chilling with friends and sht"
>"Good to be wrong sometimes"
>"So are you hoping to see me as well? Or are you just keeping in touch"
"i'll prob see you once school starts. The vacation is mainly for friends I haven't seen in a while.."
>"You haven't seen me in a while too"
>"Now that I think about it, theres XYZ's bday coming up"
"... no I probably won't go to that"
> ..I'm thinking what to say..
"ok gotta go to sleep, tired bs bs bs"
>"lol ok, but if you want to see me, which now I know u do, just give me call" (call me "afc" for this :trouble: )

Anyway, the reason I typing all this out, I think if I play it right she could potentially make a great fb. Should I forget about it, or can anything be done. I obviously wouldnt mind a o.n.s to get her out of my system..

 

[betheman]

Hi, a newbie here. I came across these website/forums a couple weeks back and the information is invaluable :yes:

There is an issue I figure I could use some feedback on from the more experienced :box: . Now if reading this makes you face-palm, keep in mind I do realize I've got a lot to learn, and am here to do so and get out there and improve myself.

So I met this girl at the end of summer. I liked her, so started flirting with her and pretty much had her in bed. Due to the circumstances I didn't do her (a combination of little privacy, and dead tiredness..). It didn't matter, I had a good time and I was happy with that. I txtd her few days later, she instantly calls me back, invites me to a her friends bday party at the end of the week. I said ok, but want see her sooner so and set up a 'date' for the next day.

This is where I started screwing up, I decided since I didn't go for the o.n.s I'd rather date her for bit. School was starting and I only had 1 class so it seemed like a good opportunity.We met, I ended up bringing my "nicer" side, .. face-palm. The date itself was all right actually.
I didn't call her afterwards, figured I'd see her at the party, she sent me the details a few days later. But she ended up bailing out of it (some headache bs), I tried to see her again the next week - some more excuses so I said fuk it.

Now she started going to my school in sep, and I get a msg a week into classes asking if I'm around the next day, I tell her to call me around X PM. No call, a few days later I msg her asking why she's avoiding me, get more BS, and decide to forget it.

Closer to the end of the semester (dec) I noticed she was at the bottom of my msgs, so I ask her how she's doin. blah blah, I offer to chat in person sometime over a coffee - NO.

Now I get a txt last week, around 1am, approx.: "how were the exams".
> "all right, what r u up this late"
"too lazy to go to sleep"
> "so sitting there thinking about me?"
"No actually editing some sht for someone" (BS)
> "ic, so how u doin? I didnt really expect to get any msgs from you"
bombs me with like 4 msgs .. "wow u have little faith in me" (jokingly), "chilling with friends and sht"
>"Good to be wrong sometimes"
>"So are you hoping to see me as well? Or are you just keeping in touch"
"i'll prob see you once school starts. The vacation is mainly for friends I haven't seen in a while.."
>"You haven't seen me in a while too"
>"Now that I think about it, theres XYZ's bday coming up"
"... no I probably won't go to that"
> ..I'm thinking what to say..
"ok gotta go to sleep, tired bs bs bs"
>"lol ok, but if you want to see me, which now I know u do, just give me call" (call me "afc" for this :trouble: )

Anyway, the reason I typing all this out, I think if I play it right she could potentially make a great fb. Should I forget about it, or can anything be done. I obviously wouldnt mind a o.n.s to get her out of my system..

"Now I get a txt last week, around 1am, approx.: "how were the exams".
> "all right, what r u up this late"
"too lazy to go to sleep".....OK OK!!!!!!!
YOU: need some help to relax?
HER: "what do you have in mind?"
YOU: are you sitting or lying down?
HER: "wouldnt you like to know? lol"
YOU: yes I would actually
HER: Im Lying down
YOU: On your bed?
HER: yeah
YOU: ......F ucking ring her!!!!
..you see? you see where you could have gone with this?

phone text sex can be awesome,

Never mind this ****!
> "so sitting there thinking about me?"
"No actually editing some sht for someone" (BS)
> "ic, so how u doin? I didnt really expect to get any msgs from you"
bombs me with like 4 msgs .. "wow u have little faith in me" (jokingly), "chilling with friends and sht"
>"Good to be wrong sometimes"
>"So are you hoping to see me as well? Or are you just keeping in touch"
"i'll prob see you once school starts. The vacation is mainly for friends I haven't seen in a while.."
>"You haven't seen me in a while too"
>"Now that I think about it, theres XYZ's bday coming up"
"... no I probably won't go to that"
> ..I'm thinking what to say..
"ok gotta go to sleep, tired bs bs bs"
>"lol ok, but if you want to see me, which now I know u do, just give me call" (call me "afc" for this )

 

[ARrocket]

So I met this girl at the end of summer. I liked her, so started flirting with her and pretty much had her in bed. Due to the circumstances I didn't do her (a combination of little privacy, and dead tiredness..). It didn't matter, I had a good time and I was happy with that.

WRONG. It does matter. You had your chance, and you didn't make a move. This devalues you SO much in her eyes. For all she knows, you were too much of a pvssy to make a move. Not very attractive. You ALWAYS strike while the iron is hot, my friend.

I txtd her few days later, she instantly calls me back, invites me to a her friends bday party at the end of the week. I said ok, but want see her sooner so and set up a 'date' for the next day.

This is where I started screwing up, I decided since I didn't go for the o.n.s I'd rather date her for bit.

Same reasoning as my last statement. Wrong.

School was starting and I only had 1 class so it seemed like a good opportunity.We met, I ended up bringing my "nicer" side, .. face-palm. The date itself was all right actually.
I didn't call her afterwards, figured I'd see her at the party, she sent me the details a few days later. But she ended up bailing out of it (some headache bs), I tried to see her again the next week - some more excuses so I said fuk it.

See...she's giving you so many chances to man up and fvck her...but you don't. She loses interest fast. She thinks you're not man enough. It's been like that since middle school...you don't make a move, they lose interest. Make moves!!!

Now she started going to my school in sep, and I get a msg a week into classes asking if I'm around the next day, I tell her to call me around X PM. No call, a few days later I msg her asking why she's avoiding me, get more BS, and decide to forget it.

YOU need to be the one taking charge and making decisions, instead of telling her to call you sometime; they never will. YOU call her, YOU make plans, YOU fvck her. YOU are the man and you need to act like it.


Like the other poster said, you ought to have pushed for a more sexual conversation when she texted you...late at night is great for that. Basically, you need to push for a more sexual and overall more AGGRESSIVE relationship with her.

It seems like this MIGHT be salvageable, but you have to change your attitude fast. And make sure you have other options!

 

[xs_]

..you see? you see where you could have gone with this?
phone text sex can be awesome,

Lesson learned. I will remember this now.

YOU need to be the one taking charge and making decisions, instead of telling her to call you sometime; they never will. YOU call her, YOU make plans, YOU fvck her. YOU are the man and you need to act like it.

Every time I've tried to meet her again in person, she's bailed out. I admit I probably asked her too 'nicely' (hell, as a sissy, very casual - an average guy). She's avoided all opportunities to meet.

It seems like this MIGHT be salvageable, but you have to change your attitude fast. And make sure you have other options!

The reason I've been careful not to make any moves, A. I wanted to do it in person. B. I keep thinking I'll go too far and she'll spook off.
With her, my attitude has pretty much been: if I manage to see her again, i'll escalate.

Any suggestions as to how I should approach it given the current circumstances. I do have options, I can forget about her, but that's the cowards way out.

 

[PokerInTheRear]

If you are looking for more than an eff with this attention *****, look elsewhere. Otherwise, just tell her you really only want to eff.

 

[ARrocket]

The date itself was all right actually.

Why was it alright? What happened? Where did you go? Did you kiss her? Details.

Now she started going to my school in sep, and I get a msg a week into classes asking if I'm around the next day, I tell her to call me around X PM. No call, a few days later I msg her asking why she's avoiding me, get more BS, and decide to forget it.

You messaged her asking why she's avoiding you. That's about as needy as you can get, bruh. Don't do that anymore.

Here's how I'd play this: I'd straight up either

1) Ask her to do something specific (ie, hey, let's get together on Thursday night at ABC bar), or

2) Just have her come over to your place. Direct and to the point.

If she's not down, she can fvck off. No contact. It's not the coward's way out, it's knowing when and where to pick your battles. If she's interested, she'll come crawling back.

One more thing: The whole "getting scared she'll spook off thing" is not the way you should be thinking. If she's into you, she won't spook off. She may back off for awhile, but she'll be back. Go forth fearlessly, good sir. Make the ho say no.

 

[xs_]

If you are looking for more than an eff with this attention *****, look elsewhere. Otherwise, just tell her you really only want to eff.

No way, she's had her chance. Now it's either fb or just do her and get her out my system.

One more thing: The whole "getting scared she'll spook off thing" is not the way you should be thinking. If she's into you, she won't spook off. She may back off for awhile, but she'll be back. Go forth fearlessly, good sir. Make the ho say no.

Thanks mate
By coward's way out, I meant easy way out. I'd much rather turn this around and get what I want (+a nice confidence boost as well).