Need some help on these types of situations...

[Boricua_33015]

I know I said that I will not post anymore asking for help but I just had to post this one. Because I beleive that after this post and reading the answers to it will help me tremendously in life and future events. Its not about girls, its about DISRESPECT and guys who think they have more power than me..... so please don't skip parts of this post and read everything....

I have analyzed my problem to the point that now I know exactly what questions to ask...... so here is my situation.....

I was about to fight yesterday.

I was about to fight this kid who has been calling me names and disrespecting me a few times in the past 2 weeks. I wouldn't care if he disrespected me while we were alone but that simply is never the case. When the bell rings to get out of school this kid screams out disrespecting words across the courtyard so that the 30 of my classmates and other people outside could hear it.

He screams out "that kid Boricua is a b1tch!" or "Boricua is gay!" I dont take these things personal on any level but it still pisses me off because its just blatant DISRESPECT!

He not only calls me names, but he just blatantly disrespects me and tries to put me down when we are in a conversation in front of other people.

I am not a clown and I don't like to be put down in front of other people so they can all watch and think "hmmm, boricua is his b1tch because he disses him and he doesn't doesn't do anything about it, therefore he has more power than boricua!"

He doesn't hate me, he just thinks he has more power than me.

He doesn't do it to anyone else either. Unless he thinks he has more power than the person.

Whatever.

So yesterday when he was walking with his freinds and I was in front of him he said "that kid Boricua is a b1tch!" he said it out loud so I can hear him. I stopped and went up to him and got up all in his grill, looked him in the eye with a fierce look, and clenched my fist ready to knock his lights out. Right then I said to him "listen Im tired of you disrespecting me, I wont take no more of this sh*t! its disrespect! Say sorry!"..........."but I was just jokeing (thats what they all say)"........." yea right say sorry mutherfuker".......... "DUDE! MY BAD MAN"....."alrite"

I held my look a little longer and then I walked away.

I should have also said "disrespect me again alone or in front of anybody and see what happens" to warn him but I completely forgot about the warning. But if he does it again I'll have to knock him out.

Its not good to be seen taking disrespect and not doing anything about it.

He is not the only person that has done this to me, and I have gotten into many fights with people that disrespect me like that.

They think they have more power and try to flaunt it by putting other people down.

And I can't take that sh*t!

SO THESE ARE MY QUESTIONS:

Why do these people think they have more power than me?

Is there any other way to make someone like this stop disrespecting me without having to warn him about physical agressive consequences or just plainly fvck him up without warning?

How would you "Master Don Juans" control situations where another guy is trying to put you down with disrespect, in front of people or not in front of people?

Give me some tips on how to deal with these types of people.

 

[Sammo]

Sorry mate im in a bit of a rush at the moment, tell you what i think i will have my input on this if you read the post in my series called "Friends and teasing", its not done yet but hopefully it should help you once i write it up.

 

[Boricua_33015]

Well in this situation this guy is not my freind. He is just someone I know. Like an associate. I wouldn't make someone like him who is immature as hell my freind. He is my neighbor who lives 2 houses away.

He is also 2 years younger than me. Yet he still thinks he has more power than me.

Once he put me down in front of my one-itis and I got mad and came back with something weak. Then he called me "big for nothing". I said "shutup little kid!"

Of course after that I bet my one-itis thought of me as a pvssy who can't stand up for himself; in other words a non-agressive male.

But what she doesn't know is that I am actually Passive Agressive. I let things slide the first or second time, because I do not know how to handle the situations the first time it happens so it keeps happening until I blow up and I end up beating the crap out of the person.

I want to be an assertive male but I just don't know how to be assertive.

I need to know what to say the first time someone tries to put me down and disrespects me like that.

I was thinking to that person along the lines of "don't try me like that". If the person comes back with "WHAT YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT!?" I will say "try me again and see what happens". He will most likely get scared and have nothing to say.

But most likely that still won't stop him from disrespecting me.

So if he gets up in my face and tries me again right after I just warned him I will say and do this.....

"First of all, back up off me. Please. Second of all.... get ready for this....." *pop* (the sound of his nose being broken upon impact of my fist)

Sounds like a fool-proof plan right?

I just don't get why I get so much disrespect and why others don't and nobody messes with them. Did they have to fight also to get in that place?

I know in my other school, before I moved here to this new city I got lots of respect after I just beat up someone who disrespected me. But it was without warning.

Call me ghetto or gangsta, or whatever you want, but here in Miami thats just how its done. At least to my knowledge.

Feedback would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Boricua_33015]

damn hardly anyone read my post.... bump

 

[jive]

I wrote you a post, but it got messed up.

 

[jive]

Basically you already solved your problem by what you did, you demanded respect (basic DJ knowledge, don't let anyone disrespect you). Most likely you let his insults build up; he insults you once and you don't do anything, and he thinks he can keep doing it.

What you gotta do is not let that happen, insult them back or come back with a funny remark. You have to see things in a non-serious way, because these are non-serious situations. They are not terrorist trying to kill you, they are stupid sh1ts looking for attention. The people that go out of their way to make fun of you are insecure losers, and they usually have nothing better to do at the time.

Think of it as a test. They are testing if you are weak or not. If you just ignore them, you have failed their test, and from now on you will be a targe of theirs. Don't ignore them because they will just keep making fun of you.

Just say random sh1t back to them or give a good come back, do whatever (give them a hug ), just don't act all serious, caz that's what they want you to do. I think this is from another post, check it out. http://www.taxi1010.com/

I used to take sh1t from people all the time. Now I just make everyone else around me laugh whenever some1 tries to make fun of me. I don't let others change my mood, if I feel good, I'll continue to regardless of what someone else says or does.

 

[Boricua_33015]

Thanks for the reply.

I just took a look at that link. It is fvcking awesome man I love you!

My mom long time ago bought me a book called The Idiots guide to Verbal Self Defense.

Well I started reading it but I never finished because I have like 4 other books that I am still reading and trying to finish. But Right now I am reading Astral Dynamics.

Another reason why I could've stopped reading it was because the book was written by a woman. I wouldn't really take this woman's advice too seriously because 1. I am a guy, and we are WAY too different, and 2. she is just probably insecure and didn't like the ****y and funny attitude guys were giving her and 3. it doesn't mention anything in it about RESPECT, it makes everything look like the person who is attacking you is having a bad day and is just taking it out on others, so..... I dont know. I am still going to read the book, but if I find anything in it that I think is not right then I will take a note of it.

anyone else want to put their 2 cents in?

 

[Boricua_33015]

I just looked over the website. Actually the website is not good.

The comebacks that are they are so..... weird. They don't even make sense. They have nothing to do with anything.

Someone says "Your a wimp" you say "how delicate."........ wtf is that!?

some of the comebacks that are their its like.... they didn't even.... I dont know.... its mind boggling.

The only thing you will do to the attacker is confuse the hell outta him and probably the attacker will say "what the hell are you talking about?!"

Damn why are so many people ignoring my post!?

 

[aBAzLLnA]

i dont think anyone is ignoring ur post, but more that they dont know how to help. i feel you when u when you say u need help with disrespect and i too need help with that too.

if only there was a solid way a DJ could respond to it and still hold their head up high. what i really cant stand are the mom jokes and **** that ppl say...

like ull say something then another guy will say..."ohh ur mom is (whatever u just said)"

these are pretty much the only ones i need help with and stupid pranks....

help us out!

~ivan