Need some help guys

[Nn877]

So last night I went against the Don Juan code and lost some self control and not sure how I can save face.

Gf had a guy friend whom she worked with and was always buddy buddy with. I know how guys are and he clearly showed interest from what I gathered from her telling me and Facebook posts/comments. Maybe sosuave made me bitter to this and red pill has taken over my thinking. Anyways my gf is a strong personality and never has made me believe anything happened.

I've always had issues with this guy...mainly because this thread and other posters feedback, I know what it leads to. However Gf has always shown high interest, calling texting first, sex, etc no problems.

Couple months ago I guess he tried to get at her and she felt uncomfortable about and they stopped being friends, she has told me this. Other night on the phone she tells me that he texted then called her, asked how she's been and clear up some story that his now new gf told him involving her, which sounds odd more like an ice breaker to get into contact with my gf what it sounds like.

Whole time I'm trying to be cool, but I soon become angry and tell her he's trying to reinitiate contact. Then convo leads into about guy and girls being friends and how I've never liked the situation between them etc. she said I'm acting insecure and seems like I'm jealous (which looking back I was) I tried to downplay it and make it more abt respect.

From my reaction I highly doubt she's going to tell me next time he texts her, she even said that....I tried to remain calm and confident but it just got to me. I'm almost certain he will try to contact her again. How do I handle this situation? Or save face due to my insecure rant? Thanks fellas

 

[Tictac]

Recognize that you cannot control another's behavior.

You control only yourself.

If you don't trust her, what are YOU going to do?

 

[hudpes]

Right. I don't know if that is possible given the situation, but you could play it down on - his persistent attempts were annoying you, not making you doubt your girlfriend.

 

[Nn877]

Yeah I agree. Mid conversation i already recognized how I was reacting and tried to downplay it. Most of it has to do with previous relationship I had, trust issues were a huge part of our split. Looks like that had carried over.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Don't succumb to that bs behavior women like to throw out there sometimes about being insecure. I've usually found it's an excuse they like to use to justify their own actions that might questionable in a relationship.

In my opinion, if you have not done so already, you should clear up exactly what your boundaries in a relationship are and be very clear about them. The beginning of any relationship should have this done but no everyone thinks about it. Contacting old flames or trying to be friends with a guy who may or may not be maintaining contact with her under that pretense just so that he can be ready to swoop in when things go bad might not be ok with you.

But if her behavior is unacceptable to you, then kick her to the curb. You also have to have respect for yourself, otherwise, taken to an extreme, you end up looking like that one guy on the internet a few weeks ago whose g/f was f*cking like 5-6 guys at once and it got posted on facebook or whatever, then he stuck with her as her boyfriend.

 

[rascal99v]

So last night I went against the Don Juan code and lost some self control and not sure how I can save face.

This is your own damn fault for still staying with this girlfriend after she disrespected you over your birthday weekend.

I took the time to give you some damn good advice and you ignored it.

I'm going to be blunt here, you can't save face. You shown yourself to be a huge beta to your girlfriend by accepting her disrespectful behavior and letting it slide the last time. Now she is doing it again to you by calling you jealous and insecure. You are doing it to yourself. :yes:

Now she has another guy in the picture to make you insecure and jealous. She is even using it against you by telling you that you are insecure and jealous. What does that tell you?

It doesn't matter how much she called or how much interest she's shown in the past. She is behaving different now which is not in your favor. She blew up at you for going to another club, went out with friends instead, and was ignoring you. Now she has another guy to use your insecurities aganist you. Are you not catching on to what she's doing dude?

She is using this as a way to break up with you. I've told you that in the last thread. You made 2 threads in a week about your girlfriend and your beta behavior. It's only going to get worse as long as you keep her.

You are losing your cool and getting angry, which is what she wants you to do. Now she has a good excuse to break up with you. She can say that you are a jealous, angry, insecure untrusting man that she can't be with. Then you will try to reason with her as you beg and plead to get her to reconsider. She will never do that because her mind is already made up. Women do this sh1t to guys all the time, and you are just playing along with her game. That is stupid. :yes:

There are tons of chicks available and you choose to stay with a disrepectful one just so you can say you're getting some pvssy. That is as beta as you can get. And is the major reason why women disrespect you. She knows she's treating you like sh1t, and you come running back for more. Very stupid. :yes:

Well, when she closes off the access to it, you won't be getting any pvssy. Then what are you going to do? Get some other options dude.

To be blunt again, you are an idiot if you still stay in this relationship. There is no need to allow yourself to be disrespected and let a woman use her actions against you to blame you for your own insecurities like she is doing.

She knows what she is doing, it's just a matter of time until she dumps you. Then you will be sorry you didn't take my advice for the 2nd time by gettng rid of her first.

You only have yourself to blame if you refuse to take action like a man and still stick around for the abuse. :yes:.

 

[Mrgoodguy301]

He's right, my bpd ex, just had to have guy friends. She disrespected me plenty with it. I'll always regret not telling her off and setting **** straight.

 

[Bible_Belt]

The problem with getting mad now is that you've been putting up with it for months. If you had said something the first time it came up and not now, then you wouldn't be in this hole you've dug for yourself.

I refer to every guy who talks to my gf as "that guy who wants to fvck you." I don't get mad about it, I just point out that the friends routine is all bs. It was her birthday recently, and I pointed out that every guy who wished her happy birthday on facebook who was not related to her was a guy who wants to fvck her. She said, "no! Then she pulled up her page and started going through the list. "Yep...ok him too...yeah...yeah...well I guess he probably does.......Damnit, you're right!"

Always call out bullsh!t immediately, the instant it happens. And make every other guy into a joke.