Need some advice

[Flying Dutchman]

Hi

Been dating for 2 months now a female31 kind of a control freak..
It's difficult for me to relax when we are together as she always has new things that 'shake me up' in some way..

This what i describe now is especially difficult to handle and advise is needed:

Last thursday night we met and had dinner in restaurant. Than @ 10PM she got a call from a colleague (peer over her). She told me she had to take the call as he could give her an interesting project. The day after she wrote with him (Was a national holiday..) than sunday she got a text from him and she told me that as well.. But than the story came that the guy was interested in her and tried adding her multiple times on face book.

I tried to keep cool but found it highly annoying she didn't mentioned anything about me and her to him so the guy would know she has a bf.
Than yesterday monday eve the guy called again she missed his call and if the devil spoke the day after just before in the morning she left to work he called again, she missed his call! W t f! Than i felt bad, she told me it was him but i start feeling bad, disappointed.

How to handle these situations? How to handle situations where she tries to give me advise i don't need, i already a couple of times told her to back of or else she could go home, until now i didn't follow it through, is going ghost or nc a good solution? Talking with her seems to work a bit... but it seems she does her best a bit but not that much. Thx for help

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

A quick question first; how does she make your life better?

 

[sodbuster]

Double posted

 

[sodbuster]

Wow, I

 

[sodbuster]

Well, I hope I don't get 6 posts....this time. It won't get better.... SHE NEEDS to be dumped. Then IF she wants to come back, she agree's to YOUR conditions or she is gone. I'd NEVER marry this one. Sounds too much like my EX-WIFE. IF you are dense enough to marry, have a pre-nup.... to control your losses AND limit the TIME it takes to get Divorced..... You CAN'T move forward with your life talking to judges and lawyers.....

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Dutchie,
If you don't do something about this right now,she will lose all respect for her...Tell her Eye to Eye...I find your behaviour just unnacceptable...It is not a question of my being jealous,it is my being disrespected...And make no mistake you are...Up to you,if she argues then ask her if she wants an open relationship?...What is sauce for Goose is sauce for Gander!...Either way I think you can afford to take the moral high ground,if she is obdurate,then drive away,without even looking back in the rear vision mirror!

 

[Flying Dutchman]

Thanks all for the warm and thoughtful help.

I am thinking about the right strategy how abd what to tell her.
To me i feel she is disrespectful but dont know what to do. I think a freeze out first would be right. This weekend we planned she would join me at a b-day party. I dont feel like cancellingcthis event.
The good thing is she did not lie about the colleague guy and his history of interest and attempts in trying to get laid with her.
She told me she we will when the opportunity arises drop just the fact that she sees her bf. But now when thinking about this it isn't right. She denies my existence to him but not allof her female colleagues.when she talks to her mother she tells her about us and she told her sister about us. She had a six year long relationship and after that shortly 2 partners where she had not much sx with. Please advise i feel like a judge who cant make a verdict

She is nice to me by bringing food, sx when i want, and we spend the weekends together she always Seems genuinely interested. I told her last weekend already once that she could go if she was not relax she refused to go and cried. So she wants to be with me this is an edge case just strange... Advise advise. And no rude cruel advise if she is 'totally worthless'. I might presented her to negative in first post

 

[hithard]

Here's what you do....

Go out and enjoy the bday party and have fun and try to be genuinely happy. Give her a good time make her have fun and forget all the dribbling $hit that you mentioned above for the weekend. Build back a strong connection.
You need to clear your head of the negative **** before you make it worse- mainly for you. You freeze her out now and its a self fulfilling prophecy. Do the weekend a happy man and enjoy.

Now if she carries on after the weekend with this guy then shes hooked, it might be just a lust fu.ck situation but you still don't want to accept that in your life. Chicks in this situation flat out lie, trust your gut.

Listen, you can try all different tricks and tactics to make her stay but is that something you want in the back of your mind for the rest of your life. Always waiting for the next 'incident' waiting around the corner.

Two months in is early days and easy enough to eject from. And there is no use pounding her with anger, they will just hide their true nature from you. Just start to back away if it looks suss. She is one out of billions and time saved from a $hitty relationship is worth more then gold.

 

[Lozboss]

Get out of there. Dump her.

She doesn't respect you. Sorry to say it.

Walk away into the Sunset, have some pride and hold your head high.

 

[Romjuan]

I could have read your thread wrong, but I didnt notice she did anything wrong. So she gets texts from a coworker that likes her? Big deal. You two are just dating. He has just as much right to her as you do until you two are "committed." Big difference between dating and committed.

IF you two were committed, I would never show jealousy or try to verbalize the problem. Simply walk away and mention to her its not working out. If she asks why, respond with "I dont think youre ready for a serious relationship. I would have thought you grew past the 'needing attention from guys' stage." And then watch her crawl back to you. But then again, I wouldnt want to date an attention ***** if thats what she is.