Need some advice on understanding a situation with a high potential date

[Trojan3000]

Hello, I recently had a date with a girl I've known for 2 years. We had tried to hang out a buncha times but it always fell through, and after some time I stopped trying. Though I managed to start flattering her again just because she is definitely a great looking girl and I felt like she had a lot of potential. I took that flattery that she was responding well to and asked her out, not making it clear whether it was a date or not, because to me, I rather start off without expectations as I realized every woman is very different, and as of right now we were just friends I guess, who barely talked. We kinda just hung out one time initially and went to a concert because I invited her to come with my group since she was going alone.

Anyways, we start off, date is going well, we talk for like 3 hours , and seemed to have a really good time, our vibe was equally matched.. By the end, she got upset after I playfully smacked her, as she had been smacking me a lot after me suggesting that I like being slapped, and even going as far as to say it turns me on. I think she took it overboard. To be straight up, when i slapped her playfully, i totally caught her off guard and she got super mad, yelled at me and ran out the door. I didn't chase her right away but i got up and told the waiter ill be right back and went to find her, and she was long gone. I pleaded with her to come back and that i didnt mean to hurt her or embarrass her.. She eventually called me back on the phone and we spoke for 30 mins where i apologized greatly and pleaded for her to come back but when she did not want to , i kinda got upset, kinda gave her an ultimatum like alright then but ifu dont come back this might be the last time we ever talk and such, and clicked on her.

The next day, I apologized to her because i felt bad, she responded in apology too, and out of excitement and lack of sleep, i told her about how good she looked that night and that i wanted to do more, but then finished it off with but i think its best we should not hang out for a while to let the smoke clear.. i was just confident and thought "okay so she does like me, good ".. and i didnt talk to her for a solid 3 or 4 days, before caving out since some sense of fear got into me... as she didnt respond after i said those things

So i ended up telling her how i was trying to give her space, but was missing her already.. to which she did not respond. the next day, i tried to call her, to which she did not respond, and then i hit her with a really bad cringey line and then sent a pic of some tickets i got as remorse like "if it makes uf eel any better, i got 3 tickets on my car today". She did not respond at all.

Later that day, evening time, it hit me and im like man i think she feels like i been dismissing her feelings and that maybe i really didnt acknowledge just how bad she felt , that she had to run out and leave and rush home. I should also mention that it seemed like she had been hit in the past or something , because she was very irrate. She also mentioned after tht she didnt like being touched, when we spoke that same night after she had left and decided not to come back. So I wrote her some wall of words, but cleverly crafted and sincere, to let her know that 1) i didnt dismiss her feelings 2) i am really apologetic 3) that shes a special girl 4) that ill leave her be for now since she clearly is upset and i have no idea what shes thinknig bu since he hasnt responded, that she wants to be left alone. 5) kinda left the ball in her court to do whatever she wants with it

Heres the thing, obviously, i really like this girl. I can't help but feel like i ****ed up but part of me cant Truly feel guilty because , her behavior was the odd one. (ie: she slapped me like 10 times off of me telling her a simple thing about liking being slapped). However, a bigger part of me is over it now because 1) i see some potential red flags 2) I don't have time for women who cant meet me halfway when it comes to attention and stuff.. though 3) i do admittedly feel like soem girls are worth working for, and us guys need to work for them, instead of have egos thinking they'll come to us or that we can play this coy smooth value bull**** all the time..

Anyways, I made this post still because i made an account a day or two ago and might as well use it. I used to browse the forums many years back actually casually so thought this might be a great place to post this.

Some things I want to understand: What do you guys believe is the reason why shes ignoring me? I mean the obvious one would be that shes still upset? maybe embarrass? Can I salvage this? Should I salvage this?

 

[Kitttydiet88]

Not sure if serious or trolling. Either way, that was some weird ****. My advice: don’t dwell on this train wreck. Learn from the experience and move on.

 

[2Rocky]

your date was too long.

"slap and tickle" is a euphemism for having sex, not an actual activity.

If a woman PLAYFULLY slaps you on the ass, you have to be a big strong man and not retaliate... More than once it has been a signal to kiss women...

...Slapping the face is a big no-no.

 

[Trojan3000]

Not sure if serious or trolling. Either way, that was some weird ****. My advice: don’t dwell on this train wreck. Learn from the experience and move on.

Definitely not trolling man. I have odd stories like this from time to time. I'm sure this one is one of my worst since I really like the girl and all. Shes super high value in my eyes. I'm still going to pursue her but for now none of this stuff exists.. gonna let her hit me up if she feels inclined, otherwise might hit her up next year or just move on and pursue other stuff. I'm actually quite proud in saying that because man ive had a weird life.. and through alot of bad experiences , i learned not to care as much about **** anymore lol. I enjoy the journey nowadays of life.. and all its weird and interesting happenings. For me its like a lot of experiences with women are just experimentation. I learn so much and woman can vary GREATLY.

your date was too long.

"slap and tickle" is a euphemism for having sex, not an actual activity.

If a woman PLAYFULLY slaps you on the ass, you have to be a big strong man and not retaliate... More than once it has been a signal to kiss women...

...Slapping the face is a big no-no.

Indeed. I definitely thought the date was too long too, but it flew by fast. I only thought it was right because we hadn't seen each other in 2 years since i first invited her out and that time i didnt even talk to her much as i had other friends there so i didnt want to overcrowd her, so i let my friends talk to her too and stuff. and you're right man. though i didnt do it in retaliation or anything. was just randomly placed and playful. Not that I regret anything that happened (i just dont have too much of that regret bone anymore in my body). But, just a terrible thing to do to a woman. My ex and I would do tht kinda thing playfully and it justcame out somehow. Very bad indeed. Luckily no one at the place picked a fight with me over it.. I guess they missed it or just saw her smack me with the final smack before running out.

 

[Lookatu]

Hello, I recently had a date with a girl I've known for 2 years. We had tried to hang out a buncha times but it always fell through, and after some time I stopped trying. Though I managed to start flattering her again just because she is definitely a great looking girl and I felt like she had a lot of potential. I took that flattery that she was responding well to and asked her out, not making it clear whether it was a date or not, because to me, I rather start off without expectations as I realized every woman is very different, and as of right now we were just friends I guess, who barely talked. We kinda just hung out one time initially and went to a concert because I invited her to come with my group since she was going alone.

Anyways, we start off, date is going well, we talk for like 3 hours , and seemed to have a really good time, our vibe was equally matched.. By the end, she got upset after I playfully smacked her, as she had been smacking me a lot after me suggesting that I like being slapped, and even going as far as to say it turns me on. I think she took it overboard. To be straight up, when i slapped her playfully, i totally caught her off guard and she got super mad, yelled at me and ran out the door. I didn't chase her right away but i got up and told the waiter ill be right back and went to find her, and she was long gone. I pleaded with her to come back and that i didnt mean to hurt her or embarrass her.. She eventually called me back on the phone and we spoke for 30 mins where i apologized greatly and pleaded for her to come back but when she did not want to , i kinda got upset, kinda gave her an ultimatum like alright then but ifu dont come back this might be the last time we ever talk and such, and clicked on her.

The next day, I apologized to her because i felt bad, she responded in apology too, and out of excitement and lack of sleep, i told her about how good she looked that night and that i wanted to do more, but then finished it off with but i think its best we should not hang out for a while to let the smoke clear.. i was just confident and thought "okay so she does like me, good ".. and i didnt talk to her for a solid 3 or 4 days, before caving out since some sense of fear got into me... as she didnt respond after i said those things

So i ended up telling her how i was trying to give her space, but was missing her already.. to which she did not respond. the next day, i tried to call her, to which she did not respond, and then i hit her with a really bad cringey line and then sent a pic of some tickets i got as remorse like "if it makes uf eel any better, i got 3 tickets on my car today". She did not respond at all.

Later that day, evening time, it hit me and im like man i think she feels like i been dismissing her feelings and that maybe i really didnt acknowledge just how bad she felt , that she had to run out and leave and rush home. I should also mention that it seemed like she had been hit in the past or something , because she was very irrate. She also mentioned after tht she didnt like being touched, when we spoke that same night after she had left and decided not to come back. So I wrote her some wall of words, but cleverly crafted and sincere, to let her know that 1) i didnt dismiss her feelings 2) i am really apologetic 3) that shes a special girl 4) that ill leave her be for now since she clearly is upset and i have no idea what shes thinknig bu since he hasnt responded, that she wants to be left alone. 5) kinda left the ball in her court to do whatever she wants with it

Heres the thing, obviously, i really like this girl. I can't help but feel like i ****ed up but part of me cant Truly feel guilty because , her behavior was the odd one. (ie: she slapped me like 10 times off of me telling her a simple thing about liking being slapped). However, a bigger part of me is over it now because 1) i see some potential red flags 2) I don't have time for women who cant meet me halfway when it comes to attention and stuff.. though 3) i do admittedly feel like soem girls are worth working for, and us guys need to work for them, instead of have egos thinking they'll come to us or that we can play this coy smooth value bull**** all the time..

Anyways, I made this post still because i made an account a day or two ago and might as well use it. I used to browse the forums many years back actually casually so thought this might be a great place to post this.

Some things I want to understand: What do you guys believe is the reason why shes ignoring me? I mean the obvious one would be that shes still upset? maybe embarrass? Can I salvage this? Should I salvage this?

Bolded everything that was wrong.

Explained briefly in no particular order:
You complimented her too freely, you didn't stand your ground which showed weakness, you further showed your desperation, you further apologized reinforcing your weakness and going into her frame, you tried to justify things with her and throwing your logic at her, you talked to her too much, you've known her for awhile and tried to date her and didn't realize you are only an orbiter or have already been friendzoned, you didn't make your intentions clear with her, you tried to stand up for yourself and have frame way too late after you've already given it up, you gave her an ultimatum, you've invested way too much and way too early, you put her on a pedestal for no reason, you tried to whiteknight her. You further try to make logical excuses for your failure and try to justify it.
It's time to next her and move on.

I think you need to hang out here more often and do more than "casually" browse these forums to learn more about women.

 

[Trojan3000]

Hey Lookatu, thanks for that blunt and direct response. Just want to clarify, i was never an orbiter to her. i dont even talk or try to make conversations, i more or less tried to ask her out a few times, and sometimes it fell throguh from my side, and then from her side. she knew like almost nothing about me before deciding to meet up with me after i flattered her for a bit here and there casually on Snapchat, in response to her posts on her story and such . The first time i ever met her, i invited her to something because she was going to go to that same concert alone. Unfortunately, i didnt talk to her all too much during taht as i was vibing out to the music and i let my friends talk to her and stuff. When we met up again, this time, i have no regrets ont he date. I think it was really fun.. and the experiential part of me, actually had a good laugh over the fact that **** went down the way it did (like a bad movie). She mentioned she was having alot of fun up till the end. P.s. I didn't try to "date her". Just wanted to hang out and left it open to interpretation. (what fun is expectations?)

Where I agree I messed up is talking to much after, after we both apologized. Shoulda just kept quiet, and also shouldnt have told her that we should not hang out for a while.. thats more or less something she should have told me instead. Anyways, like you said, i didnt stand my ground, as my fear of abandonment kicked in a bit, mixed with a odd sense of urgency like "what if shes mad im ignoring her, and she'll def be done with me?" .

Do I think i can fix this? 1 million percent. Not trying to be ****y , just realistic. I believe it would take quite some time, and maybe a bit of wooing, but for now I decided, what all my other friends had told me, that I dodged a bullet.

At the end of he day, like i said "what fun are expectations?" I think more guys need to be in a situation where they get slapped, its funny, it builds character, and is a great story to tell. Plus it gives you insight on whether a gal can handle you or not. And , admittedly, im a pretty wild boy, despite being a good guy.

 

[Lookatu]

Hey Lookatu, thanks for that blunt and direct response. Just want to clarify, i was never an orbiter to her. i dont even talk or try to make conversations, i more or less tried to ask her out a few times, and sometimes it fell throguh from my side, and then from her side. she knew like almost nothing about me before deciding to meet up with me after i flattered her for a bit here and there casually on Snapchat, in response to her posts on her story and such . The first time i ever met her, i invited her to something because she was going to go to that same concert alone. Unfortunately, i didnt talk to her all too much during taht as i was vibing out to the music and i let my friends talk to her and stuff. When we met up again, this time, i have no regrets ont he date. I think it was really fun.. and the experiential part of me, actually had a good laugh over the fact that **** went down the way it did (like a bad movie). She mentioned she was having alot of fun up till the end. P.s. I didn't try to "date her". Just wanted to hang out and left it open to interpretation. (what fun is expectations?)

Where I agree I messed up is talking to much after, after we both apologized. Shoulda just kept quiet, and also shouldnt have told her that we should not hang out for a while.. thats more or less something she should have told me instead. Anyways, like you said, i didnt stand my ground, as my fear of abandonment kicked in a bit, mixed with a odd sense of urgency like "what if shes mad im ignoring her, and she'll def be done with me?" .

Do I think i can fix this? 1 million percent. Not trying to be ****y , just realistic. I believe it would take quite some time, and maybe a bit of wooing, but for now I decided, what all my other friends had told me, that I dodged a bullet.

At the end of he day, like i said "what fun are expectations?" I think more guys need to be in a situation where they get slapped, its funny, it builds character, and is a great story to tell. Plus it gives you insight on whether a gal can handle you or not. And , admittedly, im a pretty wild boy, despite being a good guy.

You should've moved on after you asked her out once. Only give gals one try and if they won't reschedule or suggest an alternative time, that signals low interest.

Flattering a girl on SC is a sign of orbiting. You may not think so but she definitely will.

Do not give out compliments freely. They get it all the time and you have a higher chance being grouped with all the other guys. It's ok to compliment her on her sweater for example when you meet her and such though. But you're not commenting on her directly.

Also any gal that posts a lot of stories on SC and other social media platforms is a red flag and could be an attention Wh0re. I don't think you want to be with anyone like that.

Never go to a concert or movie or anything with distractions as a first date because this doesn't allow you to get to know her one on one and thus doesn't foster the right environment for potential romance/kino/kissing.

Never have a first date with someone where either your friends or her friends are involved. It should be one on one.

Whether you really wanted to date her or not, don't waste your time if you don't have full intent of dating her as you could do everything else with your friends.

90% chance you can't fix this, at least to a point where she'll be your GF or have sex with you. And if you could, that would be a red flag in itself. She never had the initial desire to begin with but you just killed off any remnants of a possibility by showing your weakness to her.

Every situation is a learning one. Reflect, analyze, learn, improve for the next one. You may not get everything right the first time or 1000th time but if you leave your ego and pride out of it, you will get better with women. Good luck with the next one.

I'm glad you posted this as a reminder to yourself and as a metric. Maybe in 1,2,5 years, you'll come back to this post and wonder what the hell you were thinking. LOL

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You should've moved on after you asked her out once. Only give gals one try and if they won't reschedule or suggest an alternative time, that signals low interest.

Flattering a girl on SC is a sign of orbiting. You may not think so but she definitely will.

Do not give out compliments freely. They get it all the time and you have a higher chance being grouped with all the other guys. It's ok to compliment her on her sweater for example when you meet her and such though. But you're not commenting on her directly.

Also any gal that posts a lot of stories on SC and other social media platforms is a red flag and could be an attention Wh0re. I don't think you want to be with anyone like that.

Never go to a concert or movie or anything with distractions as a first date because this doesn't allow you to get to know her one on one and thus doesn't foster the right environment for potential romance/kino/kissing.

Never have a first date with someone where either your friends or her friends are involved. It should be one on one.

Whether you really wanted to date her or not, don't waste your time if you don't have full intent of dating her as you could do everything else with your friends.

90% chance you can't fix this, at least to a point where she'll be your GF or have sex with you. And if you could, that would be a red flag in itself. She never had the initial desire to begin with but you just killed off any remnants of a possibility by showing your weakness to her.

Every situation is a learning one. Reflect, analyze, learn, improve for the next one. You may not get everything right the first time or 1000th time but if you leave your ego and pride out of it, you will get better with women. Good luck with the next one.

I'm glad you posted this as a reminder to yourself and as a metric. Maybe in 1,2,5 years, you'll come back to this post and wonder what the hell you were thinking. LOL

Also if you are going to compliment her make it a unique compliment of something you actually really like about her NOT related to her looks

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I honestly think you aren't very optimistic and the advice you give suggests you read alot of what you know about women. Guys who go for the girls that will be easy and not the ones you have to work for are not my type of guys. You and I are not the same brother. You don't learn **** following guidelines. Get your hands dirty for **** sake. Your advice is great if youre a play it safe textbook lame who goes for straight birds.

But the one thing I do realize is youre a bit older so i respect your words regardless. They just dont resonate with me at all. If youre not man enough to go for the hardest to get women and too man to chase a woman youre less of a man than you thought you were.

Don't boost your ego in what you think you know. The first mistake you made in your words is assuming all women are the same. Tsk tsk.

This has nothing to do about trying to go for a hard women. The truth is if a woman knows you at the level this woman knows you then she would make it easy for you if she truly was interested. What you are talking about might make sense if you just met a woman and she knows next to nothing about you. Things would be far more fluid then.

What you have done with this woman is basically lower your value in her eyes to near 0 by acting needy, desperate and honestly kinda creepy with your obsession over her. This does not make women want you, this makes them run away. You continuing to persue her basically shows you have no self respect for yourself and no dignity and she knows it.

This has nothing to do with optimism or trying to get hard to get women. This has to do with you having no value for yourself. You see her as the prize, you have her on a pedestal and you feel she has more value than you. No woman wants to go out with a man they know they are better than. They want a man who is slightly above them in their mind. Woman look at guys like you with disgust and disdain in terms of going out with them.

So either you can delude yourself into believing that continuing to act desperate and needy and like you have 0 options will get this woman to change her mind or you can do the only thing you can do at this time that could help you and go NO CONTACT.

No contact will help you more than anything you could possibly do at this point because anything you do will continue to dig the hole deeper for yourself. Just stop already. Let no contact start filling the hole in a little bit for you. Show some damn respect for yourself.

 

[Trojan3000]

This has nothing to do about trying to go for a hard women. The truth is if a woman knows you at the level this woman knows you then she would make it easy for you if she truly was interested. What you are talking about might make sense if you just met a woman and she knows next to nothing about you. Things would be far more fluid then.

What you have done with this woman is basically lower your value in her eyes to near 0 by acting needy, desperate and honestly kinda creepy with your obsession over her. This does not make women want you, this makes them run away. You continuing to persue her basically shows you have no self respect for yourself and no dignity and she knows it.

This has nothing to do with optimism or trying to get hard to get women. This has to do with you having no value for yourself. You see her as the prize, you have her on a pedestal and you feel she has more value than you. No woman wants to go out with a man they know they are better than. They want a man who is slightly above them in their mind. Woman look at guys like you with disgust and disdain in terms of going out with them.

So either you can delude yourself into believing that continuing to act desperate and needy and like you have 0 options will get this woman to change her mind or you can do the only thing you can do at this time that could help you and go NO CONTACT.

No contact will help you more than anything you could possibly do at this point because anything you do will continue to dig the hole deeper for yourself. Just stop already. Let no contact start filling the hole in a little bit for you. Show some damn respect for yourself.

Oh she knew 0 about me before this date. As I mentioned, I invited her out to something 2 years ago and didn't get to talk to her much unfortunately because i was kinda in the zone and enjoying the event so my friends kinda talked to her more than I did. I didn't think too much of anything considering I was doing her a nice favor because I know how it is to go to a big event like that alone, so i invited her to go with my group. didnt even know her before that, just kinda met her online on a place where u can post about that event like asking for tickets or asking if anone else is going alone, etc (its a music festival with 20k people).

I don't think it has anything to do with me lowering value brother. I think she was genuinely upset that she got slapped n the face and felt i dismissed her feelings by joking around after the initial apology and her apologizing as well. She was still hurt. I mean the poor girl yelled at me and ran out the door in front of a bar /restaurant full of people.

What I did was mess up a good date, and then plead with her when she was upset. If you have never showed a girl you're genuinely sorry and tried to play cute and cheer her up after giving her a terrible night, then you won't relate to this at all. Me, I'm admittedly a bit of an ******* though I've changed alot of that personality throughput the years.. It was a freak thing that happened this time, and suggested to me that she had been in possibly an abusive relationship before. To back that she mentioned something about that on the phone after when I asked her to come back and also in text saying that she didnt even like to be touched.

To me this is a high value girl, who's hard to get and hard to come by. How do I know? I've dated over 13-14 women in my life at only 28 years old. Yes that means that none of those relationships were considerably long, but it taught me a valuable lesson that women are very uniquely different from each other and all that cookie cutter **** you read about doesn't fit every woman. She's a gem and I have no problem, or regret with how things went. You don't learn a computer without pressing soem buttons, You can't learn a woman by reading books, or cookie cutter approaches. I pressed one of her buttons and discovered her reaction.

You guys need a more optimistic approach. What kind of coach goes in and says "man u ****ed up, man u lowered ur value, oh u did this, oh u did that wrong. its all over man, shes never coming back"... a great coach says "alright how can we fix this". To me, nothing is wrong. It is only more challenging. and I enjoy the challenge. Believe me .

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Oh she knew 0 about me before this date. As I mentioned, I invited her out to something 2 years ago and didn't get to talk to her much unfortunately because i was kinda in the zone and enjoying the event so my friends kinda talked to her more than I did. I didn't think too much of anything considering I was doing her a nice favor because I know how it is to go to a big event like that alone, so i invited her to go with my group. didnt even know her before that, just kinda met her online on a place where u can post about that event like asking for tickets or asking if anone else is going alone, etc (its a music festival with 20k people).

I don't think it has anything to do with me lowering value brother. I think she was genuinely upset that she got slapped n the face and felt i dismissed her feelings by joking around after the initial apology and her apologizing as well. She was still hurt. I mean the poor girl yelled at me and ran out the door in front of a bar /restaurant full of people.

What I did was mess up a good date, and then plead with her when she was upset. If you have never showed a girl you're genuinely sorry and tried to play cute and cheer her up after giving her a terrible night, then you won't relate to this at all. Me, I'm admittedly a bit of an ******* though I've changed alot of that personality throughput the years.. It was a freak thing that happened this time, and suggested to me that she had been in possibly an abusive relationship before. To back that she mentioned something about that on the phone after when I asked her to come back and also in text saying that she didnt even like to be touched.

To me this is a high value girl, who's hard to get and hard to come by. How do I know? I've dated over 13-14 women in my life at only 28 years old. Yes that means that none of those relationships were considerably long, but it taught me a valuable lesson that women are very uniquely different from each other and all that cookie cutter **** you read about doesn't fit every woman. She's a gem and I have no problem, or regret with how things went. You don't learn a computer without pressing soem buttons, You can't learn a woman by reading books, or cookie cutter approaches. I pressed one of her buttons and discovered her reaction.

You guys need a more optimistic approach. What kind of coach goes in and says "man u ****ed up, man u lowered ur value, oh u did this, oh u did that wrong".. To me, nothing is wrong. It is only more challenging. and I enjoy the challenge. Believe me .

Good luck bro. You will learn the hard way but that ends up being the best teacher in the end. You care too much. You value her far above yourself.You have put an unrealistic value on a woman you know nothing about. You want to show her all these things about you and how you care and this that and the other.

In reality SHE should be the one seeking your approval and validation not the other way around. You are actively playing the feminine role and forcing her to take on the masculine role. Which she doesn't want.

Your mindset is all wrong. Your approach is all wrong. Your logic makes sense to you but logic never attracts women. How you make them feel does. And how you are making her feel is repulsing you away from her as fast as she can go...you don't think its lowering your value but literally EVERYTHING you have done since the slap has lowered your value. Not one single thing you have done has raised your value. Even when you gave her space you then TOLD her the reason why was all about her which then took you from potentially slightly raising your value to lowering it even further.

When a man chases a woman runs farther away. Women are like cats. Have you ever tried chasing a cat when it doesn't want to be near you? It runs under the bed to hide and then if you keep trying to find it, it goes all the way to back corner as far away as it can and then hisses at you to leave it alone.

Your method will epically fail and you will provoke her into probably saying some pretty hurtful things to you but you will have deserved them. We are telling you not to do it but you aren't here for advice you are here to get approval to do this fvcked up stuff that won't work and will never work. Except in the fantasies of your own mind.

Nobody is going to give you this approval because we know better so if you want to do it then do it just know that it will fail epically. Crash and burn brother, crash and burn. I can pretty much guarantee you that your texts are the subject of a group chat by now with all her girlfriends where they are dying laughing at your patheticness.

 

[Trojan3000]

Good luck bro. You will learn the hard way but that ends up being the best teacher in the end. You care too much. You value her far above yourself.You have put an unrealistic value on a woman you know nothing about. You want to show her all these things about you and how you care and this that and the other.

In reality SHE should be the one seeking your approval and validation not the other way around. You are actively playing the feminine role and forcing her to take on the masculine role. Which she doesn't want.

Your mindset is all wrong. Your approach is all wrong. Your logic makes sense to you but logic never attracts women. How you make them feel does. And how you are making her feel is repulsing you away from her as fast as she can go...

When a man chases a woman runs farther away. Women are like cats. Have you ever tried chasing a cat when it doesn't want to be near you? It runs under the bed to hide and then if you keep trying to find it, it goes all the way to back corner as far away as it can and then hisses at you to leave it alone.

Your method will epically fail and you will provoke her into probably saying some pretty hurtful things to you but you will have deserved them. We are telling you not to do it but you aren't here for advice you are here to get approval to do this fvcked up stuff that won't work and will never work. Except in the fantasies of your own mind.

Nobody is going to give you this approval because we know better so if you want to do it then do it just know that it will fail epically.

I appreciate you trying to help out but alot of what you are saying is based on many assumptions. I'm not trying too hard. I showed her thst i was remorseful, gave her some attention and went completely silent on her. I know that what I need to do is give her alot of space for a while now and just do me which I always do regardless. I can never focus on just one thing. Thats not how my mind works, literally. As in I have ADHD. I also lose interest very quickly. But me saying that I know I can win her back means ive set a small personal challenge to myself to do so and best of all i dont even have to worry about it till next year.

I mean you dont even understand how confident I am about this lol. As I mentioned initially i ended up making the post because I had already made the account. I might make a report about it if i dont forget.

This is one of my more challenging ones too which is exciting.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I appreciate you trying to help out but alot of what you are saying is based on many assumptions. I'm not trying too hard. I showed her thst i was remorseful, gave her some attention and went completely silent on her. I know that what I need to do is give her alot of space for a while now and just do me which I always do regardless. I can never focus on just one thing. Thats not how my mind works, literally. As in I have ADHD. I also lose interest very quickly. But me saying that I know I can win her back means ive set a small personal challenge to myself to do so and best of all i dont even have to worry about it till next year.

I mean you dont even understand how confident I am about this lol. As I mentioned initially i ended up making the post because I had already made the account. I might make a report about it if i dont forget.

This is one of my more challenging ones too which is exciting.

When you get out of fantasyland let me know. Nothing else to say as it obviously won't make any difference.

The fact that you have put this much importance on her shows you have already lost.

 

[GioWolf]

“Shes super high value in my eyes.”

you keep saying she’s very high value to you.

you were doomed from the start.

you have oneitis for a girl you’ve only been on one date with.

have you read “The Rational Male” at all?

you knew her for 2 years and she kept blowing you off? She was low interest to begin with.

 

[Trojan3000]

When you get out of fantasyland let me know. Nothing else to say as it obviously won't make any difference.

The fact that you have put this much importance on her shows you have already lost.

Hey, you tried bud. Unfortunately i dont value cookie cutter assumption based advice. Good luck out there.

“Shes super high value in my eyes.”

you keep saying she’s very high value to you.

you were doomed from the start.

you have oneitis for a girl you’ve only been on one date with.

have you read “The Rational Male” at all?

you knew her for 2 years and she kept blowing you off? She was low interest to begin with.

Not quite. I wonder why some of you guys talk about women like straight victims who have been hurt one two many times.

I blew her off half the times we tried to hang. Then i jus forgot about her for a long time and recently pursued her.

Btw if she wasnt high value i wouldnt have pursued her.

Why do you all act as if I'm setting my whole life aside to focus on this girl? lmao I got 3 diff girls in rotation and I still planning on winning this one back. Wheres the real men with some balls? Because if it was me, id be giving myself props right now.

I now realize the mistake i made in making a post as if im some helpless chump. Man, i been around the block. But i do appreciate you guys trying. Im still waiting for some men to comment who can relate. Aka people who are realistic and who havent spent most of their time online or in books reading about women.

 

[metalwater]

I now realize the mistake I made in making a post as if im some helpless chump. Man, i been around the block. But i do appreciate you guys trying. Im still waiting for some men to comment who can relate. Aka people who are realistic and who havent spent most of their time online or in books reading about women.

everything known about you was from that post. save it and then read it again later sometime when you're already away from the topic.

there are multiple ways to an end, what these guys are telling is valid.

the very simple and sometimes awkward truth is that women are attracted to power(translation, the need to be great) and sex(not just in a book, also in real life). What some did was analyze exactly what you told and pulled out all the actions that occurred that would usually be unattractive to a feminine female. it is difficult to hear sometimes but at least consider it. lots of men come through this site, so there is lots of patterns that get established that usually fit.

reread what they tell and consider it. not trying to disrespect you, but to point out how the mind of the woman works. cause it is predictable and not what we would expect or sometimes want.

 

[Lookatu]

You are a typical late 20's hard headed guy that people can't get through your thick skull even with the biggest hammers. I get that and been there when I was younger. You come here asking for advice and yet refuse to listen to them because you are still trying to use your own logic.

Just remember, women run off emotions and not logic. Every way of how YOUR thinking with YOUR logic will not work on them even though it makes sense to YOU. We've all discovered that on these forums throughout the years and just trying to fast track you to success but you have to be willing to listen.

Like I said, change and improvement happens when you take your ego and pride out of the mix, reflect, analyze, improve. Right now the way to improve is to listen.

Other than that we can't help you and you will have come to the same conclusions as us, yourself whether it be 1 or 10 years later or more.

Good Luck

 

[Kitttydiet88]

Hey, you tried bud. Unfortunately i dont value cookie cutter assumption based advice. Good luck out there.



Not quite. I wonder why some of you guys talk about women like straight victims who have been hurt one two many times.

I blew her off half the times we tried to hang. Then i jus forgot about her for a long time and recently pursued her.

Btw if she wasnt high value i wouldnt have pursued her.

Why do you all act as if I'm setting my whole life aside to focus on this girl? lmao I got 3 diff girls in rotation and I still planning on winning this one back. Wheres the real men with some balls? Because if it was me, id be giving myself props right now.

I now realize the mistake i made in making a post as if im some helpless chump. Man, i been around the block. But i do appreciate you guys trying. Im still waiting for some men to comment who can relate. Aka people who are realistic and who havent spent most of their time online or in books reading about women.

The advice you’re getting is solid. You went on a first date. Mistakes were made. Slaps were thrown. The girl lost interest. It happens. Learn from the experience and move on. Easier to get a new plate than to glue together a broken one.

What I don’t understand is why are you giving this woman so much mental real estate? Are you doing it for the children? To protect your ego? To prove to random internet users that you can get any woman through sheer willpower?

It’s going to take a lot of time and energy, and chances are it wont work. You won’t be able to talk a woman into wanting to **** you with your superior reason and logic. The odds are against you. Just because you can win big in Las Vegas doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to go and blow all your money there. There are billions of women out there. Put that effort into them instead. Who knows, you might even find one who likes getting slapped.

 

[Trojan3000]

I'm sorry for my ego and any disrespect guys. I do value your words.

Update however: she texted me this morning saying she was ignoring me because she needed time to process everything. She was ashamed of herself for the way she acted and to her it was a really embarassing thing as she never had to slap a guy in the face or run out of the building.

I haven't responded yet. My initial thought is always ego driven. I feel like now the balls in my court and i can jus ignore her and continue with my original plan. Which is just leave her be and get back to her next year maybe spring time if she doesn't get locked down with someone which i doubt.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You did Alot of things wrong. You think she's super high value. You did all the apologizing. You gave her too much of your personal info ( "if it makes you feel any better i got 3 tickets today" ). Each of these weakened you in her view. And if she doesn't want to see you again, duces. You should not desire anyone who doesn't value and desire you. Basic self respect. The earlier you get it the more successful you'll be in life.