Need some advice on a chick, please help

[amoka]

Fellow DJs, I recently received this email from a friend who is in need of a help. Bellow is the copy of the email. Let me know what you all think.
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I gamed this older HB9 (she is 27, I am 23) on the
online personals. We went out twice, once for lunch
and again for drinks. The last time she was saying
that she really wanted to see me again, we were
holding hands, blah, blah, blah. We made plans for
dinner today.

One piece of background I should add about her: she
dated a guy for nine years and was engaged to him. A
month before the wedding it was called off because the
dude was cheating on her. That happened a year ago,
and she admitted she still has issues getting close to
guys because of it.

She calls today at lunch saying she has to cancel,
that she has a lot of things to sort through. She says
things are going too fast for her. I'm like, you make
this sound so formal; I just want to hang out and have
a good time. She says that she doesn't know if she's
doing anything this weekend, and ends the convo with
I'll talk to you later.

I'm baffled. So after a few minutes, I decide to call
her back to see what is going on. Probably a mistake,
but oh well.

So I call her back and tell her that I'm confused. She
says she's been talking to this guy in New York and
wants to see how that goes. I tell her that I don't
care that she's talking to some other guy. I tell her
I'm talking to other chicks and I don't think there's
anything wrong with that. She says she doesn't like to
do that and she's uncomfortable with it. Maybe we want
different things because of our ages, she says. The
age comment really annoyed me. I say I don't think
that age has anything to do with it, that I think
she's cool and I'd like to get to know her better. She
says she doesn't like dating more than one guy at a
time, and I say to her I'm not dating other girls, I'm
just talking to them. blah blah blah, convo carries on
like this for a while.

So what should I do in these situations? I don't ask
so I can get this girl, but so I know what to do in
the future. (Though I'll still probably try to game
her again later, just for the hell of it.)

 

[Vulpine]

Sh!t test.

She said: "I wants to see how it goes with another person I've been talking to."

He failed with the "I'm talking to other girls too" reply - she'll twist that into "cheating on her" given her past). A better route would be to tell her that you wouldn't tollerate that sort of disrespect. Instead, he just choked it down.

Regardless, she basically told him "I'm not as interested in you as I am in the guy from NY".

Drop contact. Maybe she'll call, maybe not... in the meantime: Next.

-OR-

She's a serial dater/attention wh0re because "Sex in the City" says it's the shiek thing to do. I mean, he did meet her online.

Consider this: What kind of guy cheats on a HB9 when they're engaged? I smell BS/embellished/fabricated story. Personally, I think she got dumped because she was a psycho AW... and was probably the one cheating. But, I haven't met her, so it's just a hunch.

Bottom line: Actions... not words.

EDIT: I'll save RT the "DJ math" post.

She is 27
Was hooked up with a guy for 9 years
She got together with this guy when she was 16!!!!???

My final call:
Her "engagment/cheating" story is a BS smokescreen to conceal the fact that she's a slvt. HB9's get laid - a lot. Dude got used for entertainment (and potentially free drinks/free food).

 

[flexion_]

You shouldn't have called her back - that was dumb and just sucked into emotional drama that means nothing.

She called and cancelled - what more do you need to know? She isn't that interested - be polite and move on with burning bridges and you may see her again someday when her new "biff" dumps for a younger 23 year old.

 

[Metro3pilot]

Sh!t test huh,

just went thru that myself, said she liked someone more than me. I said kool
I told her she must not like him much, since you just let me hit it and then told her thats kool, that means I can bang other chicks while I'm banging you and not feel guilty. she got really pissed, borrowed 50 bucks and now im cut off.

did you tap dat ass Amoka ?

don't sound you could EVER win with this chikita, best to just spin another plate and if she comes back hit it

 

[amoka]

Sh!t test huh,

just went thru that myself, said she liked someone more than me. I said kool
I told her she must not like him much, since you just let me hit it and then told her thats kool, that means I can bang other chicks while I'm banging you and not feel guilty. she got really pissed, borrowed 50 bucks and now im cut off.

did you tap dat ass Amoka ?

don't sound you could EVER win with this chikita, best to just spin another plate and if she comes back hit it

Thanks for the advice but read the initial post....

 

[Latinoman]

Sh!t test.

She said: "I wants to see how it goes with another person I've been talking to."

He failed with the "I'm talking to other girls too" reply - she'll twist that into "cheating on her" given her past). A better route would be to tell her that you wouldn't tollerate that sort of disrespect. Instead, he just choked it down.

Regardless, she basically told him "I'm not as interested in you as I am in the guy from NY".

Drop contact. Maybe she'll call, maybe not... in the meantime: Next.

-OR-

She's a serial dater/attention wh0re because "Sex in the City" says it's the shiek thing to do. I mean, he did meet her online.

Consider this: What kind of guy cheats on a HB9 when they're engaged? I smell BS/embellished/fabricated story. Personally, I think she got dumped because she was a psycho AW... and was probably the one cheating. But, I haven't met her, so it's just a hunch.

Bottom line: Actions... not words.

EDIT: I'll save RT the "DJ math" post.

She is 27
Was hooked up with a guy for 9 years
She got together with this guy when she was 16!!!!???

My final call:
Her "engagment/cheating" story is a BS smokescreen to conceal the fact that she's a slvt. HB9's get laid - a lot. Dude got used for entertainment (and potentially free drinks/free food).

EXCELLENT advice! I agree with everything you wrote 100%...including the approach to answer her comments. And yes...she is a slut.

 

[Natch]

The big question for your boy is, they've been out twice and they're still just holding hands?
She stopped seeing him cos she thinks he's too lame to make a move (and I concur).

She says
things are going too fast for her. I'm like, you make
this sound so formal; I just want to hang out and have
a good time.

Great move.

She says that she doesn't know if she's
doing anything this weekend, and ends the convo with
I'll talk to you later.

That's a brushoff.


So I call her back and tell her that I'm confused. She
says she's been talking to this guy in New York and
wants to see how that goes.

So's that.

So what should I do in these situations?

For a start I'da been well ahead of just handholding by the second date, she could be sating Richard Gere and if he didn't act like he had a sack by then she'd be looking at ditching him.

At the first brushoff I'd've backed away, and come back ina week or 2. At this point she isn't chasing , or playing along , she;s being chased.

I don't ask so I can get this girl, but so I know what to do in
the future. (Though I'll still probably try to game
her again later, just for the hell of it.)

For future I'd be making plans over a much shorter time scale, like 2 or 3 days in advance at the longest. Partly cos it stops these long drawn out waits, and partly cos chicks believe that they are lower on your list the shorter time in advance you book them.

The biggest thing tho would be to have enough plates spinning that you can afofrd to make plans on short notice secure in the knowledge that if the 9 doesn;t come out , one of the 7s will, or maybe your playbuddy 8.5 will feel like a night out.

That way whne the 9 brushes you off you can genuinely just be all "okay , cool , well some other time..." , and go back to telling her about the raiders game you just saw.

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Finally whats up with you guys judging sluts. I like women who like sex , don't you?