Need Relationship advice about the future outlook

[Trainwreck]

First, I've been with my gf for about 3 years. There were some gap times like I cheated on her and I was across the country for 6 months, but we are somehow still together lol. The thing that has always worried me is that we have a different outlook in life. She wants to go to grad school and live in the city I'm currently in and become a teacher. She does not want to leave the state because it's where her family lives and etc. On the other hand, I cringe at the fact at limiting myself to Nashville for the rest of my life. Yes, I have a good job here but I cringe at limitation. I want to live in a city like LA or even abroad someday because I'm that type of person. In addition, I like money and I know this job won't satisfy my overall needs in the long run, so I plan to pursue other opportunities in a few years unless something happens. She did go on a vacation to west coast recently with her family and she is starting to change her mind on her outlook in life. Am I just overthinking this because things can change in a couple of years? She is highly aware of my life plans, so it's not like it has affected her viewpoint as well.

 

[Roober]

You are a man, you follow YOUR mission in life, not hers!

It really sounds like you are trying to justify a move for her to hold onto a woman. Don't do it!

You will resent her for it, and she will lose respect for not sticking to your mission

 

[Urbanyst]

Never let women kill your dreams. You will hate yourself for it later and possibly resent the woman too.

Plus, many women will try to slow you down in life because they are afraid if you improve too much you will attract better women than them.

If you want to live in LA then live in LA. If she refuses to be with you in LA then find a woman who will.

I strongly believe that any relationship that requires too much extreme compromising to make it work is the wrong relationship.

 

[The Duke]

I was once in a situation with my ltr of several years where she was graduating from college a year before I was. She was trying to figure out where to move to. So, I informed her of my post college graduation plans and if she wanted to be with me she needed to plan on heading that way...............and that's what she did.

I guess you can find out how conforming your woman is. Good luck.

 

[sazc]

If I am not wrong, this is the same female you have been dating where you are less than satisfied about her health choices?

Here's my take..... You need to do you. You need to follow your heart and that includes going to the places that are calling your name.

It seems that you and she are mismatched on a few levels. That doesn't mean you are bad people it just means one of you is going to have to serious give in the relationship. Can you do that and not get resentful about it? Most people cant. Dont struggle in a relationship that doesnt make you happy. It's better to be single and stick to your standards and find a partner who shares the same beliefs and values desires, sense of adventure etc, than to stay in a relationship that is always going to be a struggle. For some reason some of us are drawn to our opposite. it's more exciting to be in a relationship that has struggle, there's more artificially generated passion - but that isn't going to make us happy in the long run. And you cant change anyone.

Compatibility is very important if you plan on only marrying ONCE. Find someone who shares your values and is compatible with who you are.