Need Help.....

[Analysis]

This girl who I've known for a year and have been dating for several months is a great girl. Occasionally, she will cook for me or do little cute things for me but I get this overall sense that she does not trust me. She seems somewhat uncomfortable around me & I feel like were not any closer than the first day we started dating. For example, if I am a minute late for a date she freaks out and is blowing me on the phone, almost like I'm going to stand her up. Another example, she planned a pinic for me but didn't start getting everthing together until I got there. She assumes that I'm not going to come or I'm going to stand her up....I don't know if it is because I'm in the public eye/media and a ton of girls know me...Also, she is scared to hold me or touch me without me initiating....It's weird because when we were not dating everything was cool...I liked her better....We would hug, kick it and have fun..now things seem detached.....Right now, I have cut her off, I'm not accepting any of her calls until I know what to do to resurrect the situation.....
Need Help...Thanks...

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Analysis,


Are you SURE this woman likes you? What I mean by that is:

"Are you sure she's attracted to you in that sexual/romantic way?"

It's been my experience that a woman who really likes you only needs the smallest of excuses in order to "jump your bones". And NOT that sex is the be-all end-all of the WHOLE relationship, but is this more a situation where you guys were friends who RATIONALLY decided one day to become lovers?

If so, I can't see how that type of situation can really be energetic, enthusiastic, OR passionate.

We need MORE details from you, soldier!

Another thing you might want to share is whatever it is you already know about some of her PAST relationships. Was this woman cheated on, or treated with a lot of disrespect or inconsideration by guys she dated BEFORE you? Does she have some abandonment issues that you know about?

Well, in the event that you need SOME kind of suggestion BEFORE you supply us with more info, here is what my gut instinct tells me to advise you to do in this situation:

Since you've been knowing her for well over a year, I can see NO good reason at this point for you to cut off all communications with her. You SHOULD know her well enough to sit her down very calmly, confidently,and NON-JUDGMENTALLY ask her the same questions you just asked 'us" about her.

I don't see a reason to walk on egg shells with a woman you have had a relationship with for well over a year (yes...I'm counting the time you knew her BEFORE you two started formally dating too...).

And depending on the answers you get from her, THEN you can decide whether or not she's the type of woman you can work with by occasionally reassuring her of your newly formed committment to her, OR, you can decide she's too different or DAMAGED for you to deal with.


March on.

 

[Bible_Belt]

It sounds like she has a fear of abandonment. Did someone important run out on her in her past, like a parent?

 

[L B]

Trust issues...perhaps a lot of baggages here. I don't know about you, I tend to stay clear of drama.

 

[backbreaker]

sounds like you have a low self esteemer on your hands. you made the right decision.

 

[Last Man Standing]

How old is she?

Most women initiate contact first (holding hands) - this is their nature - this is out of place for you to initiate contact after trust has been established! Maybe it has somethnig to with her past so-called "relationships".