need help with gorgous shy girl

[Master Jedi]

hello everyone .
i have been reading all the great advice that you guys have been so kind to share with others and that has motivated me to seek out some advice for myself.
i hope you guys can help me with a certain young girl that i like.
thank you in advance.


i am 21 years old and really am crazy about this very pretty girl i work with(she makes jennfer lopez look like a pile of puke....very hot.....wow)she has it in all
the right places

she is 16 going on 17 years old.we have worked together for 3 years.she is deathly shy and has never had a boyfriend before.I have never had a girlfriend so i have no idea of how to handle this situation.she knows i like her alot.it seems like she is very uncomfortable to be around me.sometimes it seems like she hates me.she hangs out with everyone at work but when it comes to me its alittle different.she is very shy and feels very uncomfortable around me.i have never had time to actually sit down and just talk to her.she doesnt know me.i would like to sit down and just talk to her as a friend to just talk about things.i just think she is very confused.everyone knows im a great guy.i like her alot and have respect for her.i want to get her alone to talk to her but don't know what to say to her.i need to find the right words to say to her without freaking her out.i want to make her more comfortable around me but since i never had a girl myself i don't know what to say to her.if i talk to her alone what can i say to her that would make her more not afraid of me???she really is a sweet girl.please help me guys.any advice is appreciated

 

[AntonioMontana]

lets see lets see....

there isn´t a magic formula of what to say
read my post "My technique (long)" from AntonioMontana

i would say....:
ME: hey
She: (courious) What?
Me: isn´t it funny?
she: (still courious), what? what is funny?
Me: How people behave.....
they work together, .....since years, ......they look at each other, but don´t say a word. whats worng with this people? do they have fear? fear about what? they are probably missing a good time, maybe a friendship or something else. we should get to know each other, i want you to know i am honest i see you here at work since years and asking me whats going on in this pretty girls head, what is she thinking, is she too having fear of something or is she probaby courious about me. cause i am honest, i tell you that i like your face, the way you move arround, the way you behave, but i want to figure out what else i can like about you, i am courious, give me a chance for a get to gether maybe you too get courious or maybe not but at least we have figured it out. thats the best to say after 3 years of silence, in my opinion

 

[PANK]

I remember being in similar situation to you at 21 i loved shy girls and still do but the thing that i did was stare way too long, be too shy to say anything and if i finally did it would be a load of nervous jibberish. I am no expert but i do know that you should act like you dont like this girl so much cuz you prob acting nervous and that reflects on her. Be confident pretend you dont like her so much aparently a little humour may help. But whatever you do dont act like a scared chicken i failed many times due to this.

 

[Ofus]

Re: lets see lets see....

Originally posted by AntonioMontana
there isn´t a magic formula of what to say
read my post "My technique (long)" from AntonioMontana

i would say....:
ME: hey
She: (courious) What?
Me: isn´t it funny?
she: (still courious), what? what is funny?
Me: How people behave.....
they work together, .....since years, ......they look at each other, but don´t say a word. whats worng with this people? do they have fear? fear about what? they are probably missing a good time, maybe a friendship or something else. we should get to know each other, i want you to know i am honest i see you here at work since years and asking me whats going on in this pretty girls head, what is she thinking, is she too having fear of something or is she probaby courious about me. cause i am honest, i tell you that i like your face, the way you move arround, the way you behave, but i want to figure out what else i can like about you, i am courious, give me a chance for a get to gether maybe you too get courious or maybe not but at least we have figured it out. thats the best to say after 3 years of silence, in my opinion

Do not say that. **

Instead, have a normal conversation with her. No giving her mucho compliments, no spewing your emotions or fantasies on her.

After you've talked to her a bit, say this, "Let me give you a call some time... whats your home phone number?"

Ba da bing, ba da boom.

** The reason for not saying this: It works better when a woman thinks she has to try hard to get you to like her. If you act like you're already head over heals it takes out all the challenge and wondering on her part.

 

[AntonioMontana]

i though somebody would say that, but my opinion is that saying something like this is the best thing you can say to a shy girl. shy girls don´t thing such things like hard to get and so on. why is somebody shy?
he/ she is scared of beeing in a social situation, beeing with people. a shy person lives in it selfs, in her/his own thought about the world becaus they don´t talk alot so they have much time to think, so they became their own terapist, their own best friend, everybody else is scary, unhonsest. when you show her that you are honest right in the face and honest to your self too and your feeling that would be a good start i think perhaps don´t get me wrong, don´t tell her that you love her since years, but that you would like a get together for knowing each other better. talk with emotions, a lot of shy people are very emotional if you open they up.

"she is deathly shy and has never had a boyfriend before" !!!!

deathly shy! you can´t go there and talk like if you were talking since years together like old friends, its too late for this, you scare her away this way

roses only need water but some kinds of flowers need extra water and a lot of sun, of warmth. you must come emotionaly, she must see that you aren´t an ******* or somehing like this, she must trust you and so on and so on.

 

[Toke]

" he/ she is scared of beeing in a social situation, beeing with people. a shy person lives in it selfs, in her/his own thought about the world becaus they don´t talk alot so they have much time to think, so they became their own terapist, their own best friend, everybody else is scary, unhonsest."

Being a shy guy, I'll vouch for that.
Only girls I get, are the ones that come to me. Girls have it made, sit back and be cute, and the guys come to you.

 

[Master Jedi]

thanks for some of the advice guys.I really appreciate any info that's sent to me.

 

[legolas]

Shy girls are really afraid to try anything new, even with a guy who they've known for a while. I would be cautios if this shyness comes from overprotective parents or older brothers. You're better off finding out about this before you do any attempt at dating her at all. SInce she's never had a boyfriend, I'm guessing that she was brought up in a strict environment/culture You have to find out how much she can make decisions for herself and then decide whether you want to spend more time with her.

What I would do, if you really wanted a project, is try and build up her confidence for life in general and her sense of self-reliance and independence by having "talks" with her. It doesn't all have to happen at once, one thing a day can really work to your benefit. If you've found out that she has overprotective parents, then it will be a little tough. While with an overprotective brother, all you have to do is become his friend, unless he's much older than you. Gaining his trust is going to get half of the job done.