Need Help with First Cold Pickup on Cafe Girl

[One on One]

I've now seen this girl working at the cafe twice and each time I've failed to do a pickup. DJ'ing is an art and not a science, but I'm afraid I need a more scientific method to get the ball rolling on cold approaches. Today I went in planning to execute a number close, but I failed to initiate any convo other than pleasantries.

I've recognized all the buying signals and I believe she recognizes my interest as well. There is a physical attraction. However, I have the advantage because, as a DJ-in-training, I'm going under the assumption that she does like me. At best, I figure she's wondering if I like her.

Now, I will return to the cafe Wednesday night when I'm in that area again and see if she's working. I've seen her on Monday nights twice in a row so if she doesn't work Wednesday night, I'll stop by next Monday night (MW is when I'm around the area).

This is my first cold pickup with intent of getting a #close ever so I need a little advice from you guys. One thing I have noticed is that I think she looks kinda like the girl Kobe raped, but I'm not sure if that's an elegant way to start a convo with a girl you just met, lol. I'd rather stay away from the cheesy lines about her job (ie. "you look like you're having fun").

Does anybody have any tips on a good, casual, opening line? Once I get the convo geared towards who she is, what she is into, etc., I can easily charm any girl. I just need something to get started here.

Thanks. Hopefully, I'll be doing cold PUs like it's nothing soon.

 

[spanky]

Dave134, I am going to have to cut and paste a response from my Ready-made Responses post and tell you to get over your fear of cold approaches.


Just go up to her and introduce yourself and ask for her name ( the best opening line, in my opinion). Make an interesting comment about the cafe to get her to talk or her name. Keep your ear open for any thing that she says that can make the convo more interesting and to keep her talking long enough to develop some sort of rapport with her. Keep your eyes on her eyes the whole time and don't look away from them.


Another thing I like to do is go up to her and just start talking to her like I know her already. I will joke and tease. It shows mad confidence and a fun personality.


Dave134, there really is no magic formula for this, man. You just got to go up to her for the practice of cold approaches alone and develop your own formula that will work more times than not for you. How else will you get to practice cold approaches? Yeah, she might not give you her number in the end or maybe she will.

I do cold approaches regularly and may get the number 2-3 times out of 10 attempts but this does not discourage me. I play the numbers game. The more I approach, the more numbers I will walk away with. I really don't care if I come away with the number or not in many of the cases. It is just a game for me; something to entertain me.

 

[HuuBinh]

Dave, my take on this is that since you've gotton all the buying signals, why don't you make a bold move and give a her a pen and paper and tell her to give u her number, no small talk needed just some EC is enough. She works at the place, so u don't have a lot of time to be hanging around and start a convo. w/ her. Just make it quick since she's already into you like you said.

 

[Drex]

Dave I had this EXACT same dilema like 6 months ago. Here's what you say to her when you order a drink "I'll take a double half caff decaff latte mocha frappuchino" nice and fast and then smile. That's Starman's line by the way, when I said it the girl laughed, good way to start a convo.

 

[MrMetropolis]

Originally posted by HuuBinh
Dave, my take on this is that since you've gotton all the buying signals, why don't you make a bold move and give a her a pen and paper and tell her to give u her number

I would not GIVE her a pen and paper. I think that implies a desperation. If you have a cell phone just bring it out type it in and save it. Or, watch her scram for a piece of paper and pen herself. It is fun to watch em work for you.

would you rather take your schlong out and tell her to suck or have her scramble to unbutton your pants for you?

Then if your good enough you can have her get you a beer after you unloaded in her face.

 

[felony]

Agreed with spanky,

"hi, what's your name?"

Works wonders everytime and everywhere.

cheers,

felony.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Next time you see her tell her that you're going to take her out to lunch and ask her if 11:00 or noon would work better for her.

 

[squirrels]

LOL when I was on vacation last week, I made eye contact with this hot girl...I was on a mini-golf course with my family, but I was by the edge of the course and she was walking on the other side of the fence. We made eye contact and she kind of fixed her hair, so I threw her a smile, but didn't do anything (just didn't feel right).

One thing I had the impulse to do, though, was just whip out my cellphone, open the phone book and bring it up to the screen where it says, "Enter Number" and then just hand it to her.

Think it'd work?

Off-topic, I know. I'd say just make some quality conversation for a minute or two, then go for the number. Don't ask for it, tell her to give it to you. And make it seem like it's the most natural thing in the world. Cuz when you come down to it, it IS.

 

[One on One]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Next time you see her tell her that you're going to take her out to lunch and ask her if 11:00 or noon would work better for her.

I never understand this overly direct advice. How can you possibly have any success going up to a girl you haven't spoken with and telling her you're taking her out?? There's something called rapport, which I need to build first.

I'm going to stop by tonight. I don't know if she works Wednesday nights so who knows if she'll be there, but, I can go back Monday night next week since she's been there the past 2 Mondays.

 

[Walden]

Yeah , I'm gonna hafta go with the old school of thought here and say that I wouldn't ask my mother to lunch without at least 5 minutes of rapport building.

What you need to do is get that 5 minutes of convo.

You will need ;

One funny/interesting thing to say to start the conversation.
One question to get her involved in the conversation (and a "me too" story to whatever she says ["France eh?, I was just over there last week, I love the lack of hygeine and the stinky cheeses").
One question about her to make her the topic of discussion (so she can talk about herself and you can pretend like you're fascinated).

I find a good one is to mention that you've been totally hanging out for a coffee today because you've been (doing something really interesting today). I dunno , rock climbing or something , so if she wants to she can say "Oh wow rock climbing , I did that in the south of wales for six weeks last summer....."

Good hunting and let us know how it turns out for you.

 

[gr8one]

Originally posted by felony
Agreed with spanky,

"hi, what's your name?"

Works wonders everytime and everywhere.

cheers,

felony.

nuff said.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Walden
Yeah , I'm gonna hafta go with the old school of thought here and say that I wouldn't ask my mother to lunch without at least 5 minutes of rapport building.

I don't get you guys. Dave says that he's seen the signals of her interest in him and yet neither one of you would have the balls of asking a woman out even if SHE is showing interest????!!!!

Have it your way, I'm assuming she's working the register and wouldn't mind holding up a line of customers while you spend five minutes trying to build rapport.

Forget that having the balls to buy her coffee and use THAT time to build rapport. With attitudes like that, it makes my sarging SO much easier, no competition.....

 

[One on One]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
I don't get you guys. Dave says that he's seen the signals of her interest in him and yet neither one of you would have the balls of asking a woman out even if SHE is showing interest????!!!!

Have it your way, I'm assuming she's working the register and wouldn't mind holding up a line of customers while you spend five minutes trying to build rapport.

Forget that having the balls to buy her coffee and use THAT time to build rapport. With attitudes like that, it makes my sarging SO much easier, no competition.....

Dude, I have seen signals such as cutesy smiles and she seems shy when I thank her for the coffee. That is all I have seen! I haven't even talked to her...I don't see how you think I can just ask her out. Hopefully she'll be there on Monday. She wasn't there Wednesday, but there's another cute chick there that I rate as #2 so I'll talk to either one next opportunity.

I didn't talk to #2 on Wednesday because I want to go for #1 first and can't be the guy that hits on all the chicks there.