Need help resolving some insecurities about approaching...

[Genos]

I've been doing a ton of introspection and self-reflection lately. With regards to approaching (a sticking point I've been working on for a while), there are a couple things that I've been stuck in my head about and that have been holding me back.

The first (and this is super fkin beta), is that I feel like I'll be inconveniencing or bothering the girl by approaching and talking to her. I often see women in line to get food at my college's cafeteria, shopping at the local mall, doing homework in the library, etc. - in all these cases, they're going about their own business.

For some reason, I have this small voice in the back of my head that tells me 'she's busy, don't talk to her man' (I know this is dumb, I've approached women before - but those were times in which I was more confident and wasn't in my head at all). Should I be worrying about bothering women if I talk to them? Part of this comes from personal experience, sometimes when I'm in a rush or need to do something, people talking to me is inconvenient.

The second, is that when I initiate conversations with women, I literally know nothing about them except for the fact that they appeal to me looks-wise. When I approach, doesn't the woman know that I'm approaching her because I consider her a possible sexual partner? Won't she think that all I'm approaching her for is the possibility of sex? I don't think this is entirely true, I would like to get to know her of course, but isn't sex kind of the undertone? Does this turn her off?

In general, I kind of need some guidance on the attitude that I should have when approaching, I'm feeling a bit disillusioned...any advice y'all?

 

[DragonBlood]

In general, I kind of need some guidance on the attitude that I should have when approaching, I'm feeling a bit disillusioned...any advice y'all?

I cold approach all the time, it usually ends in disaster. Just have fun with it.

Should I be worrying about bothering women if I talk to them?

Nope! You need to kill that idea forever. THEY should be worried about not seeing you again if they dont help you close. If a smokin hot girl wanted to talk to you while you were doing your homework or whatever would you give a ****? Would you let her leave without giving out your number at the least?

When I approach, doesn't the woman know that I'm approaching her because I consider her a possible sexual partner? Won't she think that all I'm approaching her for is the possibility of sex?

YES. Its called being a man. This is why cold approaching girls is more effective at starting conversations than cold approaching other men. Depending on the girl (and time restraints) I sometimes open very direct with "Hey I like your hair/jacket/jeans, lets go out this week" followed by "I would like to know more about you, when are you free?" etc. Dont beat around the bush too much unless your goal is to just be social and kill time. As long as you are confident and moving things forward I dont think it matters too much what you say to be honest.

Oh yeah, dont follow girls, thats creepy as ****. Stop them and start talking, they will stay if they want too. I usually focus on "bench girls", you know the ones sitting on the grass, at a coffee shop or clearly not in any hurry. They are more receptive.

Sadly the downside to day game cold approaches is that the majority of girls you talk to already have legit boyfriends, otherwise they would be hitting the clubs and bars. Just ask how they meet and you will see for yourself. Also, the girl herself may (on occasion) lack in social skills all things considered.

 

[Çharismo]

You won't know unless you try.

Unless you try you will never know whether it's inconvenient or not. One thing I do is I try to make eye-contact and usually bust out with "How you doing?!" It's simple, it's effective, and I usually get a reply back. I do this because it keeps me sharp and alert. It also allows you to not be so anxious about approaching or being in your head all the time. Give it a try! You have to understand that as men we try to get in a woman's pants...it just the way things are and women aren't stupid either. As long as you are the right person and you can sweep her off her feet you will eventually get in her pants or develop into something more.

So in conclusion you won't know if you are bothering her or not unless you try talking to her. There is not way around it.

Most of all stay the eff away from facebook. :trouble: