Need analysis and help!

[Yours truly]

I have been seeing a 48-year old woman for about a month. Things were going great including sex. Professionally she is a Mary Kay sales director. Not that it matters but just more info. We have been seeing each other for just about a month, twice a week. Whenever we would go out I will foot the bill. She never paid or even asked to pay for dining out.

We had sex whenever we saw each other. This includes as late as last Wednesday.

Last night I was told of a great Latin dance joint; so I thought to pay her a visit and see if she would like to do some moves. Since I did not have my cell with me I just cruised to her place. Her apartment light was on but there was a car in the driveway besides her. I did not know if knocking on the door was appropriate without realizing who it was. So I decided not to knock on the door as that could have been seen as a blatant invasion of privacy. Besides confrontation is not my style when there are so many fish out there. So from a distance (in the darkness of the night) I tried to get a peek of people inside the apartment since the blinds were partially open. I only saw her. As far as I can tell she did not spot me because I was at a distance. So unable to figure out I just left and did not visit the dance place.

Returning to my home, there was a message from her stating she does not want to see me anymore. I called back and left a message that it was fine by me but I would like to pick up some of my things at her place. She called back and left a message that I can pickup my things tomorrow (i.e., last Sunday) afternoon when she would leave them outside her apartment. I went to pickup some of my things from her apartment that day. As informed, items were put in a box outside her place.

Quite unexpectedly, she returned everything I had given her including CDs and a DVD player as gift. Included were photographs of us taken together.
Fellow DJs, I am at a total loss at what happened. At the worst, if she did see me she would have asked for my explanation as to what was going on.

I would love to hear your analysis of the situation as regards what the hell happened. Enlighten me, please.

 

[Docs]

Oh..that's a crappy story

You two I guess...weren't as great as it seemed. That, or she's a bitch and found another guy to mess with, letting you go was her way of being nice and not destroying your heart any more.

You'll find someone else

 

[GirlCrazy]

So I decided not to knock on the door as that could have been seen as a blatant invasion of privacy.

I'm at a loss to understand why you saw standing in the dark, peeking through her blinds as a solution to the dilema of not invading her privacy. One of her neighbors probably saw you .... busted.

Also, looking down the business end of a Glock is probably not something you want to be doing much of in the future, as peeking in people's windows tends to make them very uptight. Hopefully you've learned your lesson on that one.

As far as analysis goes, there's nothing to analyze. She dumped you, and that's all you really need to know. Dwelling on it will gain you nothing.

 

[Heretolearn]

only a month so you should not be that attached.

You guys were obviously not meant to be in general.

As for specifics, not enough information.

Keep reading the bible and get out there!

have fun!

 

[Sinistar]

Facts & What You Did Wrong:

You're 11 years younger than her, trying to go any farther with this ain't going to help you any.

You stopped by her place after dark unnanounced - whether you knocked or not ==> bad bad bad idea :-((

The peeking/lurking = creepy!

You were paying for everything an had even bought her gifts including a DVD player after knowing each other less than a month. You're a DJ, make her buy her own darn DVD player )

Her Actions:

It's probably no coincidence that she called you that same evening. Someone must have seen you outside.

She returned every item that reminded her of you, either she's really p!ssed or she got really scared and someone advised her to do so.

She avoided any more direct contact with you (only messages back and forth and leaving your things where she didn't have to meet you). This means either p!ssed or scared, I would assume the worst case...BOTH.

And...she may have been nice to you here (believe it or not). Assuming she got scared and/or p!ssed she could have called you and chewed your arse, thrown all your stuff away or even had someone (like a cop) there when you picked up your things. That would have been a wicked blow to your ego and she didn't do that.

Advice (Worst Case Scenario):
Assume that you spooked her. Whether she's bangin' another dude is irrelevant.

Completely let go, there isn't a single thing you can do here. Never contact her again. Learn from this lesson and consider yourself VERY lucky.

If for some bizzare reason she contacts you DO NOT bring up this incident. And if she brings up this incident I would advise an apology in this rare case. And the apology is easy:

"I had no reason or excuse for what I did, I'm sorry".

(Notice, not a single rationalization, justification, excuse or expectation. Women hate excuses when they truly merit an apology)

Don't expect anything from her, be polite/firm/calm and then move on and let her be.

 

[Desdinova]

So from a distance (in the darkness of the night) I tried to get a peek of people inside the apartment since the blinds were partially open.

That is considered stalking. It's a dumb thing to do, not only for her, but for yourself.

Quite unexpectedly, she returned everything I had given her including CDs and a DVD player as gift. Included were photographs of us taken together.
Fellow DJs, I am at a total loss at what happened. At the worst, if she did see me she would have asked for my explanation as to what was going on.

She may or may not have seen you. Whatever the reason, she wants absolutely NOTHING more to do with you. Move on, and never spy on your dates again.

 

[Royal-tiger]

Be realistic!!

Taking a different approach , IT COULD be that she was seeing someone behind his back and got self-conscious of getting caught in the act. Hence, she could not face him because of guilt.

In my opinion, if she was angry (of sneeking which I doubt) a confrontation/explanation would have been nore appropriate than dumping someone plain cold.

Conclusion: Either she was seeing someone and got caught (at least she thinks) OR she is a psycho who does not know human interactions/emotions. I will bet at least 85% on the first scenario.

 

[speedo_meme]

2 times a week times 4 weeks in a month = 8 times you saw her/had sex with her....BUT

you bought her a DVD player? CD's? had lots of pics taken of her?

I'd bet my life you got needy and put all your stock in her, and she could sense it easily....VERY EASILY...

She dumped you either because of that, or she caught you stalking, bad either way, now it's over, understand it and forget about her...BUT, contrary to what the board says, I'd keep her in mind for a potential drunk fukk buddy, I mean, what have you got to lose, either she doesn't answer or says no or says yes, and then you get some puzzy!

DJ boot camp dude...