Need Advice with ex girlfriend

[jca]

Hello,

I believe I came out from the afc state few years ago after my divorce, thanks to you guys.
So I dated girls without too much difficulty.
Last month I realized I was tired of short term relationship without feeling. So I was asking myself who was important in my life, and I thought of that girl who I will name B.
B was 30 and was the first girl I went out with after my divorce. I did not have much time for her (playing the “being distant” game). I broke up with her twice, and then disappeared for other news girls. That was 2 years ago.
I contacted her last month for a drink and unfortunately I had crush on her (I give her a 9), and wondered why I left her.
We flirted and a day later, I received an email saying that she was still hurt by what I did before, and would prefer that we stay friends!
This was a challenge to be lifted.
So 2 weeks later, I contacted her for a 2nd drink which ended up in my bed. I thought that Everything was perfect!
Until the 3rd time, when she ended up cancelling a diner at the last moment by sending a text message saying that she was not well.
Suddenly, I became an afc. And tried several times to call her (I know bad bad bad), until she cut her phone off.
I immediately received an email from her saying that:
She did not feel good about getting back, since she was afraid to be hurt a 3rd time, and that I should not react in that sort, since I did worse by not giving her any news for a year.

So here is what I could do: date with other girls or try to get her back since I believe this is the right person. But this time I am absolutely clueless on how.

Any advice?

Thanks in advance.

 

[NewMan]

Question.

Are you sure that you are interested in her - and not just the challenge of gettign her.?

 

[jca]

Cheers NewMan for your reply,

That's the question I asked myself. And this time I believe it isn't just another challenge, since I am happy to let her go if she needs it, without thinking of the famous DJ "walk away" strategy.

Thanks

 

[WestCoaster]

You know what I'm going to say and that's walk away.

If by chance you do end up trying to date your ex-gf (against my advice), I'd say make sure you are dating others in the process and make sure the ex-gf KNOWS you are dating others at the same time.

Once women know you're the exclusive one, your goose is freaking cooked. Once they know you're dating others, they really start trying harder.

To quote the wise sage Rollo Tomassi from this board: SPIN MORE PLATES!

 

[jca]

That's that right thing to do, and I'll do it tonight

Thanks.

 

[flexion_]

Its sounds to me like you are just slipping back into AFC mode for whatever reason.

Ex's are ex's for a reason - there is no going back in relationships. Of course people do, but, usually something is being compromised that will just come up again sometime down the road.