Need Advice -Social Status Proof (Cars, Clothes, and Jewelry)

[Money2burn]

I don't know if this topic has already been discussed already. I've put it into the search and it never really narrows anything down for me.

I want to start by saying I enjoy looking nice and having nice things. I just don't know if buying things to increase my Social Status is advisable. I was thinking of buying a BMW this spring. I always wanted that car and its a big improvement from my Hyundai. I assume it will also help me pull more women.

Also do you guys rock jewelry. I mean diamond chains, studs, bracelets and watches. I mean i was thinking about getting a pair of 1 carat diamond studs... pretty expensive... but i don't know if it'll work for my benefit or not. I want a new diamond watch and possibly a chain. Do u guys think these are good for social status proof... or work against?

I also get positive feed back from expensive clothing. Such as Ed Hardy Shirts... and Christian Audigier.

I really don't want to put my personal value and make it based on what i own and wear... but would it be totally bad to go this route and try to increase self confidence and etc? Should i even doubt buying. Or would i be making the wrong decisions in the long run.

Thanx in advance.

 

[Ostepop]

There is a million different BMW models, buying a 3-series will not impress anyone where i come from.

Personally, (up then again, i live in fashionable europe), most girls don't like anything resembling bling other than your watch, if you wear chains and studs, most girls here will frown at you (unless they are from the ghetto and into the whole rap thing).

I have no idea how much this stuff helps thought, i drive a 2006 Mercedes CLK50K Kleeman, which looks far better than your average BMW, but i don't believe it gets me laid or anything like that. Its a pluss to have a nice car, girls notice it, just dont be one of those morons who brags about it.

As far as bling goes, i have a very expensive tag heuer that just screams money (it doesn't have any diamonds or stuff, its just a huge manly elegant watch), i do dress very well tho. Half my salary goes to D&G,Prada and Gucci. Girls definately notice how well you dress, i have gotten so many comments about my shoes from girls i dont know i have no idea where to start.

Anyways, remember that girls generally are impressed by things they cannot afford themselves, so buying a 318i or a used bmw isn't going to do much good unless they are very poor.

 

[Money2burn]

Well... I'm a young black and puerto rican man. I come from the same area as the rapper 50 cent, Southside Jamaica, NY. I am really not trying to impress anyone from my immediate neighborhood, sorta trying to step my game up a little bit. Sort of like the prince and pauper situation... I grew up really poor and now as i'm getting more successful... i want to show it. Being that i don't have too many successful friends around my age... I have no idea how i could pull this off.

Can u give me an example of nice shoes. Pics and brand? I've think all shoes look the same and really can't tell the difference between styles since i grew up wearing sneakers.

Like Jay-z said... i don't want the bright watch, i want the right watch. i'm gonna look online for nice Tag watches. Are there any other watches i should check out?

And nah, i wasn't interested in a 3 series BMW. Maybe a 2006 5 series - or 2005 7. neither cost more than $40g's. But still to me look luxury and successful.

 

[Snow Plowman]

WTF?

Get stuff like this for your own happiness not to improve your STATUS and try to pull chicks. Get the car because you like cars and want a nice one that way you don't have much problems or get the jewelry because you like how it looks and always wanted to own some.

You don't need none of those stuff to pull chicks.

I live in NY and I see MANY guys wearing prada shoes and sh!t thinking there fly and thinking they'll pull ass. I laugh at these guys because they actually think they are going to pull more ass. All of this is pure social conditioning BS.

YES some chicks might like you off the bat because of this but do you really want to be in a relationship with that frame "He has money and can take care of me and buy me stuff"?

Only thing I personally do is buy expensive cloth and thats because I love fashion and also I like peacocking. So I'd have no problem dropping 600 on a pair of Limited Edition Raw Denims. At the end of the day though no one really cares too much about it. I spend 200+ on jeans but it was never for me to show people I have it, its more because I like the jeans and fashion overall.

 

[EFFORT]

WTF?

Get stuff like this for your own happiness not to improve your STATUS and try to pull chicks. Get the car because you like cars and want a nice one that way you don't have much problems or get the jewelry because you like how it looks and always wanted to own some.

You don't need none of those stuff to pull chicks.

I live in NY and I see MANY guys wearing prada shoes and sh!t thinking there fly and thinking they'll pull ass. I laugh at these guys because they actually think they are going to pull more ass. All of this is pure social conditioning BS.

YES some chicks might like you off the bat because of this but do you really want to be in a relationship with that frame "He has money and can take care of me and buy me stuff"?

Only thing I personally do is buy expensive cloth and thats because I love fashion and also I like peacocking. So I'd have no problem dropping 600 on a pair of Limited Edition Raw Denims. At the end of the day though no one really cares too much about it. I spend 200+ on jeans but it was never for me to show people I have it, its more because I like the jeans and fashion overall.

I agree, the whole idea of buying stuff to impress people is a very reactive behavior. Why do you feel the need to impress people? Thats a form of external confidence that infects the usa. People thinking buying stuff will make them better and make other people think more of them, its a very external unauthentic confidence that comes from trying to get confidence through buying stuff, since it depends on the validation of others.

 

[shredhead7]

Do you want a gold digger, sex, or a LTR? If you want the gold digger, then yes, blow your money on pimpin yourself out. If you want sex, then refine your game (I've banged a few in my 10 year old car). If you want an LTR, then decide what you want in a woman and go for that.

Personally, I detest gold diggers and hooched out one dimensional women. I buy current styled cloths to stay in the times, but I don't go out of my way to buy my way into a different social class. I work out to tone my body, I eat healthy to stay healthy, I come here to work on my game, I read a lot to work on my mind, and I'm pick my spots to get the girl I want.

 

[Money2burn]

WTF?

Get stuff like this for your own happiness not to improve your STATUS and try to pull chicks. Get the car because you like cars and want a nice one that way you don't have much problems or get the jewelry because you like how it looks and always wanted to own some.

You don't need none of those stuff to pull chicks.

I live in NY and I see MANY guys wearing prada shoes and sh!t thinking there fly and thinking they'll pull ass. I laugh at these guys because they actually think they are going to pull more ass. All of this is pure social conditioning BS.

YES some chicks might like you off the bat because of this but do you really want to be in a relationship with that frame "He has money and can take care of me and buy me stuff"?

Only thing I personally do is buy expensive cloth and thats because I love fashion and also I like peacocking. So I'd have no problem dropping 600 on a pair of Limited Edition Raw Denims. At the end of the day though no one really cares too much about it. I spend 200+ on jeans but it was never for me to show people I have it, its more because I like the jeans and fashion overall.

Well i stated that the car was something that i wanted and as far as fashion isn't it more attractive to wear expensive clothing? I read on and on about proof of Social Status... maybe i'm confused on what this means. i'm not saying i'm trying to break bank buying things i obviously can't afford.

I really try hard not to jump to decisions and make mistakes. I just want to know what is considered proof of social status. Does that include where you live, what you drive, and how u dress? Does jewelry represent a form of peacocking?

I also read that what you wear should boost your confidence. Is this untrue? None of you are going out looking like bums, i assume. I'm just looking for advice on certain things that may be improvements overall. I've just started buying designer jeans. Even started straying from wearing baggy jeans when i go out, lol. Remember, i grew up as a kid from the hood. Like i said i would like to step my game up.

I've never been into fashion or shoes, but i like to feel like i'm wearing something hot. So i'm learning to get into it. So any suggestions, would be really helpful.

I appreciate the honesty. Thanx again.

 

[Interceptor]

I just want to know what is considered proof of social status

People.


The people you know are a resource. If you have a vast resource of people, then usually you will be considered high in social status. The social proof, and status are powerful yet subtle undertones in the dynamics between men and women, and are deal makers for women.
And how well calibrated you are in social settings.
The quality and quantity raise your social status.
Having high social status equates to being "popular" and good with people.
If you're popular and good with people, this is a sign to women that you are probably a "go getter", a guy who can make things happen.
More importantly, high social status refelcts your social adjustment. If you are socially well adjusted, then to women that is a green light, meaning you're not a psycho killer/creep.
If you're socially well adjusted, this also equates to being able to handle emotional intimacy and conversation with women. These are huge for women.

 

[Money2burn]

People.

And how well calibrated you are in social settings.
The quality and quantity raise your social status.
Having high social status equates to being "popular" and good with people.
If you're popular and good with people, this is a sign to women that you are probably a "go getter", a guy who can make things happen.
More importantly, high social status refelcts your social adjustment. If you are socially well adjusted, then to womne that is a green light, meaning you're not a psycho killer/creep.
If you're socially well adjusted, this also equates to being able to handle emotional intimacy and conversation with women. These are huge for women.

Thank you so much that makes clears it up for me 100%. I guess thats where i got confused. People seem to love me once they get to know me. I tend to draw around a crowd.. with people i know. Just around people i don't i shell up.

Was the direction i wanted to go into nonsense? Is there another term to what i was trying to bring a point to? I mean is there a term for dressing for success? or giving the appearance of being successful with a luxury car?

 

[Interceptor]

Was the direction i wanted to go into nonsense?

Well, it wasn't nonsense , but it WAS superficial, and too material. You are trying to build status off of material things. Mostly guys do this becasue they lack a low sense of worth. They feel they need the "shiny" things to attract respect, admiration, and attention. All thigs that they realize they cannot get on their own through just their personality.

Is there another term to what i was trying to bring a point to?

I guess it could be called "Perceived Value", rather than GENUINE Value?
My feeling is that you wanted to give off the perception, rather than build off your genuine personality. Guys that go down this road are usually lacking in many things, and are usually insecure about themselves. Also, as was said earlier, the more you try to "show off" your Opulence, the more you attract the Gold Diggers, and superficial people who will use you to get what they want from you. Sometimes, it DOESN'T pay to advertise. When you try to show off, you are in effect seeking validation and approval.
Doing this is a big turn off.
Now don't go thinking that being succesful, as in finacially successful is a BAD thing.
Money is NOT a Dirty Word.
But advertising it, and waving it in front of people's faces will get you none of the things your heart truly desires.

I mean is there a term for dressing for success?

Why do you need a "term"? AFAIK , no, there isn't.
But dressing well is showing appreciation for who you are, and respect for yourself and others. Taking pride in one's appearance is important, and necessary.

Showing off is low class and arrogant.

or giving the appearance of being successful with a luxury car?

Having a nice car is a great asset. It is nice to feel comfortable in a well kept and good running car. This is a nice thing, and no one should feel unconmfortable in desiring the good things in life. But it is just an inanimate object.
It is NOT YOU.
It may show how much you earn, and your taste in cars.
But again, you're chief aim was to show off in front of others. "Look at my car, bro! Ain't I a bad ass mo fo??! Look at me, people!!"
Not something I would be going for. And few women respond positively to that type of guy really. You really want to be that guy every one makes fun of behind their back?


And again, I say, this is usually done by guys who feel low self esteem and low self worth.
It will be seen through.
That false image will be broken through.
And when you build your self perception and reality off of others' views, you are headed for the hardest crash of your life when they reveal their true nature and what they really think of you.
And it will happen.
You build a Castle on sand, my friend.

 

[Money2burn]

I really don't want to be a show off. I appreciate that you are breaking it down for me how i might have came across. I don't want to make it seem like i am some loser that NEEDS to make up for being lame by masking it by material things. As i stated in the first post of the thread:

"I really don't want to put my personal value and make it based on what i own and wear... "

But i see where u are coming from. i don't want to come off ignorant. I guess my question was answered in the fact that you guys don't think i should try to determine my self value by what i have.

I think i'm still getting the BMW. I need a new car. I like the style of them. I would enjoy having one.

I still want a new watch... but a nice one. Seriously... I would like some suggestions on nice watches. Doesn't have to be a diamond one. I'd like the opinion of someone who knows a lot about them.

And i was always told dressing nice was indefinitely is a great way to boost your confidence. Through observation... i don't see a guy wearing a Armani suit as lacking confidence or having a low self esteem. Maybe i'm wrong.
I was just considering it as dressing the part.

But i am absorbing your information and opinions. I am truly grateful. Hope i don't come off as a a$$hole.

As far as confidence, i believe i'm good. But i can be better, you know? I consider myself a very interesting person, who has lived a very interesting life... i don't believe i have a low self esteem or worth. But i wouldn't mind being a nicer dresser and representing myself as being a more confident person.

If i'm far off. Could u name me examples of successful, confident, and admirable people. That wear cheap and distasteful clothes in public. Should i not give a **** about what i wear?

 

[Interceptor]

What, then, is your true Value?

What Value are you bringing to people around you?

What do you have to show for if all the "shiny" things were gone?

How do you make people feel when they are with you?


What does all that have to do with an Armani suit?



Are you the sum of your clothes and material objects?

Who are you trying to "impress'?
And why?

If i'm far off. Could u name me examples of successful, confident, and admirable people. That wear cheap and distasteful clothes in public

Whoah, dude. Why are you going to the extreme?

Are you saying you wear "cheap and distasteful" clothes in public?

Are yousaying that you have no confidence unless you wear an Armani suit?

Ultimately, what may be "cheap" to me, may not be cheap to you. Its all subjective , really.

Imagine Brad Pitt in shorts and a T Shirt and flip flops.
Does he have low self esteem and no confidence while wearing that? Is he self conscious now?



Ultimately, it's your life.
I'm justtrying to bring some things into perspective.
I know you believe that you come fom a low income type of situation.
And now you feel that you've "made it", now you want everyone to know about it. It's a common notion.
But, ultimately, it's about seking approval and validation. It's insecurity wrapped up in a different disguise.


True worth is not measured by posessions.

It all comes from inside.

I'm just trying to get you to see the long term, the big picture.
Many times people just have to make the mistakes to see it themselves.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I mean i was thinking about getting a pair of 1 carat diamond studs.

Firefighters wear earrings?

 

[Serialized3]

...

 

[eminence]

are you selling drugs on the side or something? how much can u be making as a 24 year old fireman? Tag, prada shoes, 40k bmw's? Since when can firefighters blow $1000+ on a watch and not be broke after?

 

[Snow Plowman]

Well i stated that the car was something that i wanted and as far as fashion isn't it more attractive to wear expensive clothing? I read on and on about proof of Social Status... maybe i'm confused on what this means. i'm not saying i'm trying to break bank buying things i obviously can't afford.

I really try hard not to jump to decisions and make mistakes. I just want to know what is considered proof of social status. Does that include where you live, what you drive, and how u dress? Does jewelry represent a form of peacocking?

I also read that what you wear should boost your confidence. Is this untrue? None of you are going out looking like bums, i assume. I'm just looking for advice on certain things that may be improvements overall. I've just started buying designer jeans. Even started straying from wearing baggy jeans when i go out, lol. Remember, i grew up as a kid from the hood. Like i said i would like to step my game up.

I've never been into fashion or shoes, but i like to feel like i'm wearing something hot. So i'm learning to get into it. So any suggestions, would be really helpful.

I appreciate the honesty. Thanx again.

If your talking about value that girls see then thats "Social" Value. Such as being around many women or having people react to you. But ultimately its sub-communicated that you are a high value guy. This is what gets women attracted.

Like you mentioned the thing that will end up happening is you define all these superficial things as your identity. Yea it will put you into state but your reality will be like a leaf because you will always be going in and out of state. For example "New" cloth, the reason you feel good is because your got new cloth and now your in state because you got new cloth, but look at your old cloth it doesn't put you in state anymore.

Anything clothing wise that stands out could be considered peacocking becuase your standing out.

I was just making sure you don't base your identity on superficial things. Your identity should be based on your personality, your mindset, beliefs, etc because no one has those beliefs besides you.

So longs your not doing these things in hopes that you'll get girls then by all means do what you want because ultimately it will be for your happiness. If you want that Bimmer then get it, want that watch get it. But don't think girls will start hopping on your dik, even though you will have better reactions due to you being more in state because you have those things.

Me personally I feel real good wearing what I wear but thats because I put together a style that was an extension of my "Identity". Yea there are times I go out looking like a bum, wearing a pink head tie, undone hair, etc. But I have other things that are like my foundation of who I am (My personality) so even if I don't have good cloth on I'm still content because I know who I am.

 

[Ostepop]

I just want to know what is considered proof of social status.

This will of course differ from place to place, but generally in the fashionable parts of europe (which are 100x more fashionable and trendy than the entire US), things that look elegant yet are discrete is the way to go.

Buying a diamond watch will make you look as trying to hard, or that your a so called nouvau rich, meaning you got no taste at all.

Do remember that your getting older, your hometown and neighboor hood may all like the hip hop style or whatnot but do you really think its cool wearing baggy jeans and bling when your starting to get even older? I mean your 24, your a grown male, its not that fun to look like your going to rob a grandmother or do a driveby shooting anytime soon!

Id say, the most important thing about clothes is to make yourself look confident and successful, but beyond that, to look good in any situation. Your 24, think many girls that are 25-29 are into the whole baggy jeans rapper fashion? Always dress to the occasion. Say you run into a business contact randomly on town, think hes gonna take you seriously if you look like a rapper?

While clothes and looks doesn't mean everything in the pickup game, it can help you a lot.

Do you know what the first two things a girl notices about a male is? Your smile, your shoes, and your watch. The first one is strickly looks, the last two are to try to figure out how much money you got.

Does that include where you live, what you drive, and how u dress? Does jewelry represent a form of peacocking?

Everything percieves social status. Where you live, is amongst the most important things, then what you wear and then how you dress.

Jewelry is a form of peacocking, but (and this is speaking from the "rich kids" viewpoint) to most people that have money, it just looks stupid when some guy buys a diamond watch, diamond studs, and some huge bling neckless (aspecially if you wear that neckless on top of your shirt). It looks like your trying to hard to show off.

Don't get me wrong thought, i do peacock, but its not as obvious and as tacky as people are told on this site, it just doesn't work in europe, atleast not in the environment im usually in.

Example of me peacocking would be wearing say a purple slik tailored in skirt from gucci with some cool accessories along with some cool dolce jeans and a D&G or Gucci belt. It has a awesome fit (i look ripped in it) and its different.

I also read that what you wear should boost your confidence. Is this untrue?

I get a huuuge boost in confidence from what i wear, recently dropped $2k on a D&G coat, and i feel like a million dollars when i wear it (of course, everything else you wear that day must be cool aswell). Girls notice it aswell.

Can u give me an example of nice shoes.

Here are my "sneaker"-type shoes (i do ofcourse own real nike shoes for when im supposed to do something other than walking)

Gucci "Sneakers"

Gucci black "sneakers"

For more elegant shoes when your going to fancy restaurants and stuff, there are 3 words to remember: they gotta be pointy,leather and italian

For example this

i want the right watch. i'm gonna look online for nice Tag watches. Are there any other watches i should check out?

There is of course Rolex and Breitling but there is so many replica and fake Rolex\Breitling watches out there, so a lot of people will automatically assume its fake. Its also a tad nouvau rich to buy a Rolex.

This is the one i got, a Tag Heuer Link, its not very expensive, but looks mint IMO. Its big enough, its manly enough, and it looks expensive enough without having to try.

 

[MooseGod]

You gotta ask yourself what kind of woman you want... one that wants you for your money, or one that wants you for YOU. My advice? Spend that money on something fun, like a sportbike or jet ski or something. Women don't care what you're wearing as long as you don't look like a hobo. F golddiggers and the horses they rode in on.

 

[ChrizZ]

this thread just makes me sad.

 

[eminence]

This is the one i got, a Tag Heuer Link, its not very expensive, but looks mint IMO. Its big enough, its manly enough, and it looks expensive enough without having to try.

lol....sweet watch.