Need advice...oneitis... I am a sucker!

[JJNYC]

In a nutshell, I was best friends with my oneitis chick for a long time, several years. Last year (actually last May, exactly a year) I, in true AFC fashion told her how I felt and proceeded to get shot down. Then I sent the lame emails, came on stronger... etc.... you know, the usual story. So in the middle of last summer I NEXT'ed her and moved on.

So fast forward to today. I've been reading this site for months (though don't post very often) and applying what I've been learning, working out like a madman, and concentrating on improving my life. And it's definitley working! I'm in the best shape ever, and get complimented a lot by women. Career is going well, I'm starting grad school this fall, and I've come to realize what a catch I am.

I consider myself to be a rAFC or DJ-in-the-making.

So... I've been re-establishing contact with Ms. Oneitis gradually over the past few weeks. Wasn't really my doing; I just stopped avoiding her calls. Things got friendly/flirty and I invited her to come with me to a concert next Sunday.

Now she tells me that she's "dating someone." She was hesitant to tell me from the sound of her voice, but I played it cool on the phone and did not sound affected, even though it brought a lot of old feelings back. I'm actually surprised by how crappy I feel, because I thought I was "over" her.

The dilemma: Now I'm, stuck going to the concert with her! This will be at Giants Stadium outside of NYC and there will be a huge crowd tailgating in the parking lot before the show. I was originally planning on going with one of my friends who's a natural DJ extraordinaire (50+ conquests) and using him as a wingman for some hardcore macking. But now I'm stuck going with her.

I don't want to be a total ******* and back out of the deal. But then I don't even know if I care anymore. This could be a sign to NEXT her for good, even though I do genuinely miss her friendship.

So what to do?

1. Blow her off and go with my friend (and look like an *******) ..... OR

2. go with her, show her a fun time, use major kino/flirting, and go for holding hands and a kiss at some point and then justifiably NEXT her if she doesn't play along (I doubt she will) ..... OR

3. go with her, show her a good time, and then disappear for a while (scarcity principle) because her boyfriend guy is probably a major AFC and isn't quite the DJ-catch that I am and that relationship won't last long anyway.....

Thanks guys!

 

[Unbridled_1]

You are obviously still infatuated with her. You may want to keep your distance, but if you go play it cool, tell yourself beforehand that no matter what, you are not interested in her and will not get your hopes up. Talk to other girls in her presence, but accept the fact you will never get her, and accept that fact. To not accept it, would be total AFC.

 

[PEACEDJ]

haha man I feel for you. Well what you should do is go along with her. Be a man, stick up for yourself and treat her as if she is a dude you met at a snack bar. Have fun with her, you can also very much diss this girl in anyway you want to. Go with her have fun don't try to do anything that is related to kino but treat her as if she is a toddler.

 

[BGMan]

Originally posted by JJNYC
So what to do?

1. Blow her off and go with my friend (and look like an *******) ..... OR

2. go with her, show her a fun time, use major kino/flirting, and go for holding hands and a kiss at some point and then justifiably NEXT her if she doesn't play along (I doubt she will) ..... OR

3. go with her, show her a good time, and then disappear for a while (scarcity principle) because her boyfriend guy is probably a major AFC and isn't quite the DJ-catch that I am and that relationship won't last long anyway.....

Thanks guys!

So let me get this straight... she tells you she's "dating someone". I don't think that's the same thing as "I have a boyfriend". In fact, I'm certain it isn't because she just accepted a date with YOU!!

I'd say option 3 is the best, but if you feel on top of your game, go for a kiss at the end. If she turns her cheek, then you know there ain't no cheese down that hole.

BGMan