Need advice on what to do about Ex-Girlfriend.

[rawsync]

OK, first of all let me give you little background on both of us. We are both 21, I never had a serious relationship or been involved with a girl for more than 3 months and she got out of a 5 year LTR last October, and dated a guy for a month from March-April. We met in May and after about 2 weeks of knowing each other we started dating and felt so compatible with each other, had so much in common, and wanted/did hang out with each other almost every single day. We are both really nice and I treated her so nice (I wasn’t being AFC, I was still ****y/funny, but just really nice too), she defiantly showed many times she cared. She told me after a week how she loves me and soon after I admitted that I love her too and told her at the same time I’ve never been in love and don’t really know what real love is, but I do like her a lot… Well after dating for a month, she writes me an email on Thursday (yes, very immature) saying how she doesn’t want to get hurt again and how she isn’t ready for another LTR… she realizes how much she started loving me and it scares her how fast she developed those feelings and that it would be so much harder later on to break up and she would get so hurt like before, and she doesn’t want that to happen again… Well at first I didn’t believe her, and since I am insecure sometimes, I thought it’s maybe because I was very nice to her or that she found someone else and it bothered me so much and after me treating her so nice I at least wanted the truth, and was gonna take it like a man no matter how brutal it would be… just wanted the damn truth…

So tonight we get together for a drink, and just talk about our weekend and enjoy our stimulating conversation with a cup of tea. After finishing the tea I take her for a walk and we sit down to talk… so I start asking her and she told me, which she never did before, how much she was hurt in the last year of the relationship with her ex which she swears by everything she doesn’t have anymore feelings for him, and I do believe her… she tells me how she just wants to have free, single, and enjoy being 21, partying with her friends and such… I felt so relieved that it wasn’t nothing about me that she didn’t like and she still says she loves/likes me and wants to be friends, but then she says also later how she wants to have relationship too… off and on… or open relationship… I told her I’d be there for her and how I believe in her, how I’d support her and all this **** but how I couldn’t be friends with her….

What do you guys think I should take this… I really like this girl a lot and I don’t wanna let her go, I want to be with her.

 

[SnowBlind77]

to me it sounds like seh just wants to have fun, if you really love her liek you say you do , jsut let her go man. if she misses you, she'll call you up without a doubt. But, on the open relationship, that all depends on how you feel about it. Personally im not cool with it, but thats all up to you. I wouldnt try to push it on her, cuz shes obviously not ready for it, but screw being "jsut pals", cuz that aint gonna work if you really like her.

 

[Hitman10000]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=oneitis

 

[AngelusPUA]

OK, first of all let me give you little background on both of us. We are both 21, I never had a serious relationship or been involved with a girl for more than 3 months and she got out of a 5 year LTR last October, and dated a guy for a month from March-April. We met in May and after about 2 weeks of knowing each other we started dating and felt so compatible with each other, had so much in common, and wanted/did hang out with each other almost every single day. We are both really nice and I treated her so nice (I wasn’t being AFC, I was still ****y/funny, but just really nice too), she defiantly showed many times she cared. She told me after a week how she loves me and soon after I admitted that I love her too and told her at the same time I’ve never been in love and don’t really know what real love is, but I do like her a lot… Well after dating for a month, she writes me an email on Thursday (yes, very immature) saying how she doesn’t want to get hurt again and how she isn’t ready for another LTR… she realizes how much she started loving me and it scares her how fast she developed those feelings and that it would be so much harder later on to break up and she would get so hurt like before, and she doesn’t want that to happen again… Well at first I didn’t believe her, and since I am insecure sometimes, I thought it’s maybe because I was very nice to her or that she found someone else and it bothered me so much and after me treating her so nice I at least wanted the truth, and was gonna take it like a man no matter how brutal it would be… just wanted the damn truth…

So tonight we get together for a drink, and just talk about our weekend and enjoy our stimulating conversation with a cup of tea. After finishing the tea I take her for a walk and we sit down to talk… so I start asking her and she told me, which she never did before, how much she was hurt in the last year of the relationship with her ex which she swears by everything she doesn’t have anymore feelings for him, and I do believe her… she tells me how she just wants to have free, single, and enjoy being 21, partying with her friends and such… I felt so relieved that it wasn’t nothing about me that she didn’t like and she still says she loves/likes me and wants to be friends, but then she says also later how she wants to have relationship too… off and on… or open relationship… I told her I’d be there for her and how I believe in her, how I’d support her and all this **** but how I couldn’t be friends with her….

What do you guys think I should take this… I really like this girl a lot and I don’t wanna let her go, I want to be with her.

Can you say PUPPET?? because that your name from now on, besides having a slight case of oneitis you are a fu*king puppet she has absolute control of your emotions. Take a page from her book and enjoy being 21........

 

[JonJack]

What do you guys think I should take this… I really like this girl a lot and I don’t wanna let her go, I want to be with her.

This is so cliched.

Here's a question for ya. Why don't you wanna let her go even after she clearly didn't want to take the risk with you?
I believe you when you mention that the two of you are so compatible and treat each other really well. Now that she has chosen not to continue it anymore, you're not going to accept that? You want to pursue her till the end of time? You don't want her to be with anyone else besides you? C'mon man, she's decided and you've got to accept it.

Don't you think it's so lame for a person to be told off, only for them to continue coming back wanting for more? Don't you think this person is just asking to be flat out rejected cruelly? Don't you think that as another human being, she is entitled to her choices, even though they may be stupid and full of holes?

 

[jigga23]

dude you dated her for a month. i wouldnt consider that an ex gf. once you get into a year or so yea sh!t is serious. who gives a fvck. still try to talk to her or whatever if she is receptive but at the same time talk to other chics. you were with her for a month dont stress over it. if she doesnt wnat to be wtih you she doesnt. best thing to do is to stop talking with her and see what she does. i stopped talking to a girl that i was tlaking with for aobut a month or so. i stop talking to her cause she starts flaking every so often then what do you know she somehow contacts me again. dude your 21 do your own sh!t you dont need a serious gf and alot of girls that age want to party and fvck different dudes unless they cant get d1ck if thats the case they are probably pretty ugly cause girls can have sex way easier than men

 

[speed dawg]

Guys this is just a troll. Anybody with half a brain that reads this forum knows this guy's behavior is the absolute worst thing you could do. This guy's entire post is fake, but unbelievably, there are actually guys like this. Look at the title,"need advice about the ex-girlfriend".....it's not even original.

So tonight we get together for a drink, and just talk about our weekend and enjoy our stimulating conversation with a cup of tea.

So, a David Deangelo fan, huh? The copying and pasting her is almost humorous.....

What do you guys think I should take this… I really like this girl a lot and I don’t wanna let her go, I want to be with her.

Very lame attempt at internet attention.

 

[rawsync]

Guys this is just a troll. Anybody with half a brain that reads this forum knows this guy's behavior is the absolute worst thing you could do. This guy's entire post is fake, but unbelievably, there are actually guys like this. Look at the title,"need advice about the ex-girlfriend".....it's not even original.



So, a David Deangelo fan, huh? The copying and pasting her is almost humorous.....



Very lame attempt at internet attention.

well i might be a troll, that's why i'm asking for advice, and if you know that what i'm doing is the absolutely worst thing someone could do, please enlighten me with advice that i could use rather than bashing me. and yes i am a fan of DD

be nice or gtfo

 

[rawsync]

This is so cliched.

Here's a question for ya. Why don't you wanna let her go even after she clearly didn't want to take the risk with you?
I believe you when you mention that the two of you are so compatible and treat each other really well. Now that she has chosen not to continue it anymore, you're not going to accept that? You want to pursue her till the end of time? You don't want her to be with anyone else besides you? C'mon man, she's decided and you've got to accept it.

Don't you think it's so lame for a person to be told off, only for them to continue coming back wanting for more? Don't you think this person is just asking to be flat out rejected cruelly? Don't you think that as another human being, she is entitled to her choices, even though they may be stupid and full of holes?

I am letting her go, but the problem is, she doesn’t want to date other guys, she just wants to have fun with her friends and have a on and off relationship with me. This girl emails me all the time at work, replies to my emails within a minute even though it takes me hours to reply, writes me txt messages…. I am going to accept that she has chosen not to continue it anymore and it wouldn’t bother me if she dated other guys, but it seems like she wants and doesn’t want to be with me at the same time, like she has bi-polar disorder or something. Saturday she called me and asked for another chance and I told her I’ll think about it and that’s why I got together with her last night for a drink… but then she says she wants to be single and I accepted that. She is very undecided person and do you think I should just give it a try and try this off and off relationship which I was never in or should I just cut the contacts to bare minimum and see what happens?

 

[rawsync]

bump