Need advice from people who know their shyt

JoeJoe85

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Okay, I've been an AFC for quite some time now, and am looking to improve my life. I've had limited success but can't seem to make the jump. I have major confidence issues that i've been trying to work on.

There's this really cute girl that I work with who I think likes me, but I have no idea what to do. I missed 3 months of work when I broke my leg in December (I work at a bar). I saw her out one night when I was on crutches and she was all over me, kissing me and being really flirty. I didn't see her again for 2 months. Anyway, I feel uncomfortable around her now, even though she's still really friendly to me and have a lot of trouble talking to her. I think she's kind of shy too so it's tough for me to start a conversation with her, but I still think I have a shot.

What can I do to get over these inner game issues, I just feel like I'm boring and have nothing interesting to talk about with her.

Please help, and from people who know what they're talking about.
 

KontrollerX

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Imagine and think of these things I am about to lay out for you and think about and imagine them over and over again during the minutes, hours, days and weeks or really however long it takes for your body to catch up with your mind which I'm sure already agrees with what I'm going to tell you so anyway here goes...

1. If you don't make a move on her eventually someone else will and if you don't act soon enough to make that girl yours she will rightfully move on to the guy that is indicating interest in her while you sit on your hands and wait for some random moment of inspiration to become courageous that will never come. You must understand that being courageous is an action that you create for yourself just like how a samurai in an oldschool war would decide to be courageous and defend his ideals or honor. Courage like confidence is created from moment to moment via our decisions not randomly handed down via a feeling where we don't know where it came from. If there is any motivation for either of these things it usually comes from strong emotion. So do you feel a strong emotion that you should have a certain girl over someone else because she likes you? Well if so use that emotion to be courageous and push through whatever is stopping you. Let your love for yourself and what you believe you deserve to have conquor your fear.

2. So you say you don't know what to say when you are with the girl?
The Carthaginian military commander Hannibal once said "We will find a way or make one" which seems pretty obvious to me that perhaps you haven't thought of all your options. So you are a sh!tty speaker? A lot of people are and it doesn't help that you're trying to bring a shy girl out of her shell with your p!ss poor speaking skills I get it. So why not do what you are presumably good at which would be take her on some kind of action date be it bowling a walk in the park a trip to an amusement park or bungee jumping but yeah find something in this realm to do which both compensates for your weaknesses while allowing both you and the girl to have a fun time while getting more aquainted with eachother.

Another thing to consider whereas you could disregard the previous advice in this section is maybe the girl has been in her shell so much being so shy that she is afraid of talking for fear of saying something stupid and fvcking up her chances with you in which case you don't really have to worry about being all that entertaining as she probably likes you enough anyway to just hear you speak about random bullsh!t to admire how cute you look or whatever the fvck happens to your face when you say certain words in certain ways. Shy b!tches can be like that bro and you just have to roll with it if you want to get involved with them. Obviously the best indicator as to whatever you are saying is working is if the chick continues to remain in your presence and seemingly entranced by you so chill out and just keep on talking and don't fear you are doing bad or anything unless she starts to fall asleep or roll her eyes or something.

3. Imagine you think and stress about this chick for months wracked with fear about screwing up, not knowing what to do, not knowing how to move forward with her and then you finally make up your mind and get clear to do something make an approach whatever the next day that you see her but you get a phone call from a friend of her's or the place that she worked etc that she'd just been killed in a freak accident like a train hit her or something when she was crossing or just collapsed with a brain anerysm dead before her time (which actually happened to a cool young guy math teacher I had in highschool and happens to a disturbingly high amount of young people randomly).

Alright I'm going to get to the point at the end of this section but yeah you've just imagined the other part of section three so now imagine this. Its the same story leading up to you deciding to be courageous because your emotion finally motivated you to action and you decide to go see her the next day and make your move but on the way there you get into a car accident and end up paralyzed from either the neck or waist down for life.

The point?

Either of these scenarios could happen at anytime and with either one you'll be left asking yourself the age old painful question "What if?"

"How much more happiness and joy could I of got out of life if I could've just decided SOONER that my love and my courage and what I felt I deserved out of life were stronger than my fear?"

So it all boils down to this...

Will you seize the moment or will you risk living a life of regret and quiet desperation?

Or if you'd like me to put it in more hilarious and inspiring terms I'll quote the movie Full Metal Jacket to close out this post...

"Why don't you jump on the team (in this case DJ) and come in for the big win?" :up:
 

JoeJoe85

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I like what you said (except for number three, that was kind of depressing). I know all the stuff you've said and it's happened before, hell i've even given that advice to people, i just can't seem to apply it to my own life.

It's been a really tough couple of months for me, I was assulted in December for making small talk with some guy's g/f and broke my leg. So my confidence issues are worse than ever at this point. it's tough getting back in the swing of things but i know i will.

Thanks for the advice
 

KontrollerX

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Holy sh!t man.

What did the guy do take a baseball bat to your leg or something? :nervous:

Or did you just trip and fall and break it during the fight??

One of my cousins got into a drunken bar fight last year with some guy and he tried to lift the guy in his drunken state who was quite heavy and ontop of that he fell down and all of this served to nearly break his back but I guess ultimately he just ended up with some deep bruises and a ton of back pain for a while.
 

JoeJoe85

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I he smashed a beer bottle over my head and my leg got caught in a wheelchair when i fell, million to one shot.
 

JoeJoe85

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He smashed a beer bottle over my head and my leg got caught in a wheelchair when i fell, million to one shot. He's looking at 1-3 years.
 

COD

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SHEESH LAME ADVICE ,.............ANYWAYS,,,,,,,


heres what you do..............U gotta write down what you would say........then write down what YOU fear will happen, next write down what U would say/do if those fears/rejections came true. NO FOR THE FUN PART.............WRITE DOWN WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN........what if she says yes, sure, ok.............what are you going to say, where do U want it to go. (then start your visuals--visually see it going great for you inbside your head). U gotta start suspending dis-belief and replace those thoughts with positive affirmations.

RELAITY-U cant make some one like you, U cant control how she is going to answer but U CAN control how U handle any response, and direct your thinking which in turn directs your actions...........resulting in influencing her decision.

Then ............are u ready.................GO OUT AND TRY one thing on your list and see how close it comes to your visuals.

When starting out, start small and build from there..............SHE WILL SAY HI, TODAY I WILL HUG HER, TODAY I AM GETTING THAT KISS, TODAY IS THE DAY WE TAKE IT UP A NOTCH..............Japanese call it "KAIZEN"---incremental improvements (slow but steady).

U ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR OWN THOUGHTS WHICH GOVERN YOUR ACTIONS............U just need to remove dis-belief and replace with positive actions.

EVEN IF THINGS dont go as planned or U get a set back.........just pick up were U left off and get back on the positive path. Dwell on the goal not the process.

Form a new habit by repeating any process 21 times in a row........create a new NUEROPATHWAY and soon it will become natural.

I need You to do one thing for me.............report back here with a success story. Mention how you started out and where U ended up.......can U do that...........sure U can!!!!!!!!!
 
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Pacific

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1) Plot revenge on the bottle asassin. Plan and execute. F--k the courts, you need old school revenge. Buy some bear spray and get him directly in the eyes. He'll think mace was holy water in comparison.

2) Drop mad kino on the co-worker cutie and tell her what you'll be doing together the next night you're both off from work. Just do it. Never tell her that story, it doesnt put you in a masculine light.
 
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