Need advice dealing with friends, low IL, and salvage ops

[AlwaysExcel]

Alright, remember that hot girl that I got naked with on the first date? The one who bailed out of sex when I asked about a condom? (My “Please Critique” thread) Well, I went to this festival with some friends and her this last weekend and things went south with such speed that my head is still spinning. I’d really like more critique on how I handled it and advice on what to do next.

Some folks on here want mad details in order to give advice so I’ve written a super long version and a summary for those with modern attention spans.

SUMMARY: My best friend unwittingly bested me at C&F (my most successful method with this HB). Then her metrosexual AMOG ex-bf showed more value than me. She showed high IL for him and low IL for me. I responded by severely limiting the C&F interaction, being aloof, having mad fun with everyone else, and pulling other women. The girl never hardcore chased me at the fest but her interaction with me changed a little once AMOG left and she saw me with other girls. After the fest, she chose to sleep in my bed instead of the guest bed and wrote me an e-mail right after she got home complimenting me on how I looked and telling me about a party she’s having this weekend that she wants me to come to.

Basically I’m wondering how to deal with friends who best me at C&F without straight up telling them to back off. I’m also wondering whether being aloof was the best method to use or should I have busted some serious kino from the beginning since we had already gotten very physical. Finally, what should I do to salvage a fvck out of this and do ya’ll think that playing her on the side is even advisable?

LONG VERSION
A bunch of us from the art community around here planned months in advance to go to this fest. I purposely took this HB9 on a date beforehand so that I wouldn’t end up in the friend zone by traveling to the festival with her. I ran the risk that all AFCs are scared of: Things Being Awkward.

After our date on Sunday, I didn’t plan to talk to her until when we left on Thursday night. I had nothing to say to her and our convo sucks anyway. Well, she calls me on Tuesday night to “see how I’m doing” and talk about the trip. I’m thinking “good sign!” However, convo was boring as usual and I shoulda bailed earlier but I struggled to converse. We were only on the phone for like 15 minutes!

She mentioned that she didn’t have a tent. I considered not responding but she’s never direct with her advances. I felt it was a hint so I told her she could stay in my tent. She then asked about it and said she wanted to buy one instead. I felt that I failed that shyt test but whatever.

She ended up getting a “very important call.” She did call me right back in like two minutes though I joked around that I’d beat her azz if it happened again. But then she ended the convo soon after calling me back. So this mishap took the wind out of my sails somewhat. I resolved to be the prize no matter how this turned out and got ready for the trip.

During the trip, my friend starts picking up on my C&F and doing it too. He did it better and mine came off kind of mean at times because I was tired and uninspired. I am grateful to have creative friends but it annoys me that once they see me daring to do things that they are scared to do, they then all start copping my style. I hate to be one of the crowd of dudes clamoring for one girl’s attention. I’ve actually started being C&F before and within one minute found myself surrounded by my friends all shouting C&F stuff at the girl. I usually do the opposite of everyone to set myself apart. If they are treating a girl with kid gloves, I’m ****y. If they are teasing her, I become quiet and ignore her. So I became quiet and aloof on this trip, with minimal C&F.

My friends don’t PURPOSELY try to fvck up my game. My friend in this instance is AFC and won’t try to get with any other girls since he’s still fvcking his ex-gf. He just likes to have fun teasing this HB. Since C&F was the major part of my game and attraction for this girl, my value diminished. The girl stopped laughing at the few jokes I did crack or paying as much attention to me. My friend established some mad rapport with her during the trip.

Then things got worse. We stopped along the way to meet up with her metrosexual AMOG ex-bf and his fiancé. The IL signs were like night and day from the way she interacted with me and him. She didn’t do anything MEAN to me but she didn’t act interested like she had before. She ended up riding the rest of the way in his car to “catch up on his life”. His fiancé rode by herself in a car behind them because she had to leave the fest early. So I didn’t sulk but I become even more aloof (and drained. We drove all night).

Once we got to the fest, HB is acting all awkward around me—giving me forced smiles and avoiding eye contact. I couldn’t tell if my aloofness was intimidating her so I helped her set up her tent and kinoed her a little but she just thanked me and didn’t respond to the kino.

I tried to isolate her a couple times during the fest but she wasn’t having it. I wasn’t as direct or smooth as I could’ve been with these attempts though. But I felt that she would’ve responded if interested.

Also, her ex started to get aggressive toward me. He would do that classic move of coming up behind me and grabbing my pecs and commenting on how hot I looked. I should’ve accused him of being gay but I just thought “fvck these people.” I left them the first night of the fest and met a bunch of other girls. Understand that these things I’ve been telling you are squeezed between a bunch of very good times and neutral/friendly interaction with HB. I was acting cool like it didn’t phaze me.

Well, AMOG’s fiancé made him leave the fest with her when she had to leave early. I don’t think she trusted him. My target was sad that he had to leave. She showed a little more attention toward me after this. By that time I had cultivated a group of girls, which seemed to bring my value up a little more in HB’s eyes. The last night of the fest, HB told me she was leaving this dance area to go to this bar tent and asked if “we” wanted to come, even though she was talking directly to me. I was having too much fun talking to people and declined this possible isolation attempt on her part.

So we got back into town late at night. HB lives an hour away from me. When she was showing high IL before our date, she had mentioned “staying at someone’s house” after the fest.
I had doubts throughout the weekend about whether I played this thing right. See, I was thinking that maybe I shouldn’t have withdrew but that I should’ve laid down some seriously confident kino from the get go instead of starting completely over again with convo, then C&F, then kino. After all, we had been butt naked together just days before. This would’ve escalated past the C&F and been more of confident claim staking to the ex. I felt that I might’ve intimidated and confused this girl by withdrawing.

So I decided to test her IL and I asked whether she was staying at my pad or going on home. She said she’d stay with me. I continued the test at my house by telling her that she’s welcome to share my bed but if she feels that she won’t be able to contain herself sleeping next to this sexiness, then I have a guest room. She laughed and hit me with her pillow and then got in bed with me. I was dead tired and had to work the next day so I didn’t try to **** her. I kinoed her a little in the morning. She just giggled and didn’t kino back. Then when she left, she hugged me, pulled back and looked like she wanted a kiss but I didn’t go for it. She sent me an e-mail later that morning thanking me for letting me stay, telling me how good I looked in my office clothes, and how her parents are going to be gone next weekend and she may have a party and wants me to come. I e-mailed her a short C&F message tonight and told her that I have something going earlier that night but may be able to make it out later.

Now, I know that this girl is not to be taken seriously. She obviously has a higher IL for other people than for me. I could easily next her. However, I feel that there is some IL for me left in her. I would like to exploit this and fvck her. I want to play her on the side. Do ya’ll think it’s worth trying?

There’s a pattern here that I want to break as well. Every once and awhile I’ll meet a cute chick who I can tell fairly early on that I am not going to click with. The chick ends up pursuing me with a high IL. I decide to take advantage of the situation but my Achilles heel, my boring conversation, always sends that IL back down rather quickly. The girl ends up rejecting me. I want to learn to cope with this pattern and salvage something out of it.

Also, I would like advice on how to cope with good but clueless friends who cop my style. I feel lame telling them to back off. It seems like there should be a smoother way to deal with this.
Finally, I would be overjoyed to hear some critique on my aloofness method. It seems that challenge works the best when you couple it with value.

 

[Hubris]

I only read the summary.

Aloof is good, she spent the night in your bed and is chasing you (the email and the party) what else do you want?

If an ex shows up you go pull other girls. You're a DJ remember?

Everything went fine. You're probably just showing off. At the party next week, go pull more girls, be nice to the host but you're not following her around. She'll follow you. If ex shows up, you don't care, talk to another girl that showed up to the party.

 

[Grey Fox]

This is why you go out on dates with just the girl. But of course you ran into her with your buddies, and they started playing C+F with her. Also if your buddies start acting like a bunch of parrots, shift your game and try something else. The C+F routine is not the end all be all of how to pick women up. What you need to the next time that happens is try to steer the attention away from her, and keep her out of the conversation. If you make her feel like an outsider and that only by your will can she get inside your group, you have power over her. Next the metrosexual guy is a joke, there are so many ways you can make fun of him. Also just because she acts interested in him, doesn't mean they are going to be jumping in the sheets. She is just playing a game with you all, she wants to be the center of attention. Take that attention away and she is a lost child. That is why she plays games, to keep the attention on her.

Now for the Red Flags I see here:

You applied Kino but all she did was giggle and nothing else. Usually kino is replied with more kino on her part.

Then the E-mail full of compliments, how come she had to put them down in an e-mail of all things. Why couldn't she say it to your face? Because she had to go back and think about a way to keep your attention focused on her.

The forced smiles and avioding eye contact.

Forget this one, you were doing great when you went after the other women. You have two choices, either play or get played. Meaning go out and meet new women, or let her run you around in a circle.

-Grey Fox

 

[AlwaysExcel]

Hey Grey Fox, could you give an example of that method of being in control of whether she is included in the group? It's intriguing.
I agree that I need to add more to my arsenal.

I disagree about play or get played meaning I should next her. All girls play games. I think that the next should come when it's obvious that she continues to take without giving in return eg. acts like she'll give sex for attention but continues to avoid sex. I think that true pimpness is beating or matching the girl at her games so that you're taking all without giving anything or it's at least a reciprocal situation. She's only playing me if she's tricking me into giving her something for free.

We're talking about casual fvcking around here. I would never put up with extended games from someone I was pursuing for a LTR. I have to be much more strict with that person. However, I'm always interested in new ways to get the upper hand with females of all shades of shadiness.

 

[Grey Fox]

Well its actually pretty easy, in fact your situation will probably allow for the most success.

1. Shift the attention away from her, and onto some else in the group. Make fun of a buddy, get one of them to go off on some old b.s. story. Whatever takes the lime light away from her.
Also it wouldn't hurt to have a girl or two in the group when you "bump" into her. That way you can also shift attention to them and better yet give your attention to them and not her. It will really tick her off.

2. Seeing as how your friends either lack the balls to have personalities of their own, or your game is that good that they want to imitate it you can use it to your advantage. Like you said when you started doing C+F they did C+F. So it stands to reason that if you are critical of something about her, that you say is unattractive, they might just parrot that back. The more this is reinforced on them and her, the more the group will lose interest. Also it nails her right in the ego, and she will also lose status with the group. She is now an outsider, but you give her a way in when you start being charitiable to her by easing her presence back into the group. When she starts getting to high on the horse again, simply find another flaw and wait for her to expose it in front of the group. Reinforce and she is once again out of the ring of attention and favor of the group. Keep doing it unitl she knows her role.

3. Have her meet you some place, saying that you have a friend that is hanging out and have an EX GF or another girl with you. Preferably one not as hot as her, but not a dog. Just enough where the HB knows she's hotter and knows she should be getting the attention for it. Instead the less prettier girl than her gets the attention, it freaks hot chicks out when all of a sudden some guy doesn't find them hot. See they just can be like us where we can let it go that a chick might not dig us. They have to have everyguy they know wanting them, or there is something wrong.

4. When you go out on a date with her, end it early. Most guys try to get all the time they can. Instead your time is fleeting and this should help limit the conversation time as well. Also ending it early when its going really well can also mess with her a bit. She's thinking that she is having a real good time and that you are enjoying, but when you suddenly cut it short she starts to wonder if something is wrong, or worse she did something wrong.

If you think about it, the higher up someone thinks they are, the greater the fear of falling. If she believes herself to be atop the social apex, and all of a sudden you, your friends and other girls seem to have passed her by, she will be scared of falling down to the level of average people.

Hopefully she will put more effort into getting your attention, and your acceptance. The trick is to make her do a lot of work for the attention and then give her a small amount of attention in return. It will seem so precious because all the effort she put in will up the IL. Think of it like this if I just handed you a hundred bucks day, you would start to take it for granted. But if I give you a hundred dollars a week and only after you worked hard, that hundred is more valuable to you because it cannot be taken for granted due to the work that was needed to obtain it.

-Grey Fox