Need a little help figuring out my next move.

[medcyclist]

1st post here..I wish I would've found this forum a few days ago!

Quick backstory. Met a girl on the Hinge app (for those of you unaware of it, it is essentially tinder). Hinge messaging went well right off the bat, as we have quite a bit in common. I'm a pretty serious cyclist who is riding under contract for a sponsor. She is a college triathlete who competes in Ironmans. Asked for the number, to take the conversation to text. Got her out on a first date for drinks, and I think things went pretty well. I feel I also have a leg up, as she just moved to my area from out of state and knows no one.

Our first date was short, maybe 1-1.5 hours at a bar near her house. She ended the date, quoting she had to be up at 5am the next morning. (I believed it, as she's an intern at her new job). I text her about an hour after our date, saying it was nice to get to know her, and i'd like to see her again sometime. I was hit back with "Yes i had fun too! We definitely do" That raised a little red flag for me. That was wednesday.

Minimal texting since then, but today I sent her one today inviting her to a pro hockey game (she is sports management major and made very clear she is into all sports) She replied with "I'm going to be out of town till thursday!" This is a true statement, as she told me on our first date she had to go to a training camp, i simply forgot.

My question is, where do i go from here? I have yet to reply to her text and it was about 4 hours ago. I do feel like interest has retreated some as i've been talking to her a little too much


Ive made moves that go against DJ with this chick already, but i only found the forum today.

Let me know what your opinions are!

 

[LMFAO]

Simply call her when she's back. Since she's back next Thursday just leave it for a week and hit her up on the following day or weekend. Don't stress it. Explore other options in the meantime.

If she continues to text you reply to her messages a little but don't overdo it.

 

[pyros]

even better:

you: invited her to that hockey game
her: I'm going to be out of town till thursday!
you: alright, text me once you're back.

Keep in mind that you asked her out twice already, so if she has some interest she will get back to you.

 

[Yewki]

"Oh duh! I forgot"

She may not respond but either way she'll wonder why you didn't say more or wish her a good time, etc. Her hampster will start to spin. Either way temporarily forget about her and chase other girls. Do not contact her right after she gets back. If you do she'll get the impression you've been thinking about her the whole time and don't have much going on. There's a decent chance she'll contact you first but if she doesn't wait a few days, maybe the Sunday night after she gets back,

"Hey are you back from your training camp?"

Doesn't matter what she says

"Nice, care to join me for a drink Xday night, you can fill me in on the details"

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Number one: stop being on the phone so much.

The phone should only be used to set up dates, that's IT. When you're not in her face, there's no need to be texting/calling her - let her wonder what other things you could possibly doing that appear to be more interesting than contacting her on the phone. That little bit of mystery is all you need to get her thinking about wanting to be around you more.

Anyway... to directly answer your question: You know she gets back on Thursday, right? Great - wait til Sunday to contact her. When you do, make it a PHONE CALL not a text - that way, the conversation will go a lot faster and seem more natural. When you call her, it should go something like this:

HER: (picks up phone) Hello?
YOU: Hey (name), how are you?
HER: Oh, hey (your name), I'm doing good!
YOU: Great! How was your trip?
HER: (Tells you a bit about the trip. Small talk and banter is allowed, but don't go over a minute or two at most)
YOU: That's great! So check it out: didn't want to take up too much of your time, but there's this new restaurant/movie/activity of some kind I just found out about, and I was hoping I could take you with me. Just needed to know which day would work best for you (pick 2 days - Tuesday or Thursday, Monday or Wednesday, Thursday or Sunday... no Friday or Saturday though).

At this point, you SHUT THE HECK UP and wait for her to answer. Even if she starts saying "Hmm, um, well, hmmm..." you've already made the sales pitch, now just sit there and wait for her to give an answer. I don't care if there's uncomfortable silences, DO NOT SAY ANYTHING UNTIL SHE GIVES YOU AN ANSWER.

If she says "yes" and picks a day, great! If she says "I'm busy on those days you mentioned" but counter-offers with a day that WILL work for her - great! Take that day and you've got a date! If she says "Oh, I can't, I'm busy this week" and doesn't give a counter-offer of a day that would work, it means she's lost interest and she's passive-aggressively turning you down. Either way, you'll have your answer. Hope this helps!

 

[medcyclist]

Thanks for the responses. Yes, I realized I've made too much text conversation thus far. I'll call her a few days after she's back. I don't think I'll wish her a good time either, just let her text hang unanswered now. (Been 7 hours now and I think a text like that at this point would be no good)

Forgetting about her till then. Heading to the bar tonight to try out some of the tips I've found on the forum. Like I said before, wish I found the forum sooner. Better late than never though!