Need a critique of this apology message I sent to this girl

[MattS]

So I met this girl last saturday. Ive known her sister for a long time but never met her until sat. I get her to go downtown with me to me meet up with my friend and his girl. we got along great cuz we have a lot of similar interests like music and we got each others jokes.

She was giving IOIs like leaning on me and i was kinoing her. We started drinking a lot and we got fvcked up. She was drunk i think and my friend and i just started joking iwth her. my friend talks a lot sh1t but its playful. samew ith me. she starts to get irratated and just starts textign like a mad person which is an IOD to me. through out the night i was DHVing and negging cuz i know dudes jock her. i was just running simlple mystery negs and dhvs and she was responding ok. but then i said i thought you were a dork at frist but i think your cool after hanging with you she got a little butt hurt. then she kept on texting people after i said that then i said you got good qualities but you only got 2 out of the 3 i look for and said it playfully and said i was joking and said i think shes cool and enjoy hangin out with her and she said me too until you said that then she kept buggin me to take her home i was like wtf. she dropped her phone and i just kept on walking and she got p1ssed i didnt pick it up mind you i was fvcked up. earlier in the night we talked about seeing the football game the next day and she was all about it.

i guess she was just irratated at my friend teasing her and me saying those things to her which were simply playful and a joke and i made sure she understood that but i guess she didnt. i said i know ur use to guys jocking u and kissing up to you all the time and she said well yea and i said well i aint like that i like to bust on balls a littlejust for fun and by the way you gotta wine me and dine me then she just lost it after i said that.
On the way home she just became a b1tch and said i was d1ck cuz i was saying that sh1t and i kept and syaing it was a playful joke. she got out of the car said thanks and i said bye . We didnt change numbers cuz i was like fvck that right now. but i did like her and i feel sexual tension and attraction between us and i dont feell that all the time iwth new girls.

So i know her neice and told her to give her my number via facebook i didnt ask for hers. I have no clue if she gave it to her so i said fvck it and just found her through her nieces page to do it myself and i wroter her a message.i understand how she can get p1ssed at me i guessbut god dam lighten up because i made it clear i was joking and being playful. so here is the message i sent to her on facebook:


Told xxxxx to give you my number dont know if she did or not .so just looked on her friends on FB for an asian girl that looked pretty, yet looked like they were capable of beating the **** out of 10 people at once (*inside joke) so I thought this could be you.
Anyways just wanted to tell you I didnt mean to piss you off to the point of you wanting to rip me head off, guess its cause you dont know me that well so my bad. I hope you know I was just joking and messin around.I really did have fun with you and think your a down to earth cool person.
So don't be a lil brat and let me make it up to you cause I want too. I was given tickets to a show downtown I dont wanna tell you what it is cause a surprise is always better I guess but I guarantee you haven't seen anything like it before. The tickets are good for either tues night or wed night at 8pm. If you could do tuesday,tomorrow, it would probably be better. You might have to bring your own bottle of hennessey (*inside joke) but it should be fun. So if you wanna go call or text me tonight or tomorrow before like 3pm or so.###-###-####.

Have no clue how she will respond but I know i am not making another attempt after this if she ignores me because i put mysef out there cuz i felt bad even though i was joking the whole night

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Ouch. That's ugly. That is one ugly apology my friend.

A - she needs to learn how to take a joke.

B - if you want to ask a girl out, then ask her out. But damn. Writing her a long love letter via Facebook. Half apology, half "i like you".

When you're dealing with humans, there's no guaranteed reaction. Maybe she'll love this. But according to everything I've experienced in life, and everything I've learned from this site, it seems like you just handed your balls over to this girl. And via the internet.

If you had just said. "Hey girl. It's me. Let's go to a show this weekend." It would have achieved your goal (asking her out) without making you look like a scared little sissy.

There's nothing sexy to this girl about a scared, apologizing little man asking her out on a date via Facebook. That does not make girls wet.

If she was giving you IOIs, then they wouldn't have disappeared because of one rough night. If anything, she would have been somewhat excited to earn your approval back. But now you're here apologizing for making jokes. It ain't like you slapped her. You were joking. Nothing to apologize for.

 

[thegator39]

Sounds like you were trying too hard. Mystery Method isn't meant for when girls already like you, it's to knock a girl off her high horse who think she's the sh*t because she's hot.

 

[MattS]

i cant really see why its so bad. she sensitive so i should apologize i obv have a different perception of things than her. trust me she was p1ssed ive really never seen a girl that mad at me before.
I was being honest gave her a little ego boost in the apology. Im just being real i wasnt like plz talk to me plz plz i was like here is how i feel about what happened and her is how i can make us get to know each other better. i thought about going withthe approach of syaing get over it and quit crying now im taking you out which ive done before but i felt it would be more appropriate for me to act more submissive becuase i fvked up (atleast in her eyes). I act like yadda yadda i dont give a **** then she would really think im an azzhole cuz she was telling me i was and she was serious so i deciedd to show her my nicer sensitve side cause i was a d1ck to her.


its a little bit more complicated than what I posted i just tried to give the jist of things, i said way more sh1t to her (still jokingly lol). by no means is this girl above me in any way and she knows it. I feel bad its like when a parent yells at their child and they feel guilty cuz they feel sorry for them and want to buy them ice cream.
Lets put it this way. This girl is from oakland and was adopted by a family when she was born and judging by what she told me and how she talks she grew up in the hood literaly and defiantely did not grow up a privledged life.her sister which ive known for 16 years or so (im 28) is married to my cousin and the sisters just reunited after 28 years of not knowing each other and she didnt know her real mom until now. so shes been through some rough sh1t. I dont look down on her whatsoever i just feel sorry for her cause shes cool and has a good heart and grew up rough im guessing. Me and her are on the opposite ends of the spectrum with a lot of things. My whole family went to college my dad makes good cash, i got two degrees (im typing fast so dont judge lol) drive a benz and do well for myself cause i was priviledged. I mostly hang out with white people who are mostly college educated and i konw blacks mexicans and asians (im half asian half white). ive hung out with hood people before but problems arise in those crowds so prefer not to often. I listen to rap day in and day out so im not a racist honky by any means.
Now her on the other hand shes 28 also but her real mom cant speak english i dont think she knows her real dad. her family is super poor. She doesnt have a car, no money cuz she said she got laid off has no college education but she said shes gong to community college now to work on her degree. She was teling me she hangs out with everyboday but judging from conversations etc she hangs out with hood people no matter what race but im guessing she hangs wiith a lot of hood blacks cuz shes a beautiful asian girl and i know how that is. All night blacks like hood ones on the street were gawking at her.
So she is from a whole different world bascially and I feel bad cuz i did make comments about her being from the hood she laughed though. but still. and i made joking comments about her talking to black hood dudes etc.
I just feel like i wanna show her the other side cause i dont think shes been to a super nice restaurant or saw circue du soleil. its almost like richard gere and julia roberts in pretty women. Ive lost 20k in one day gamlbing in vegas no joke thats probably how much her mom makes in a year. get it totally opposite worlds thats why i feel bad and i feel i can do somehting from her and show her a good life because she could possibly deserve it and I can do it for her
My ex had a masters in microbiology although she was a cokehead but still hand a similar privledged upbringing like myslef. ive never hung out with a hood girl like one on one and i actually really enjoyed cuz it was differetn and it felt good introducing her to people who have their lives together and live in nice neighborhoods and taking her to a nice bar where they dont have to check for guns. I barley know her but someithing in me wants to show her a better life for some reason.
So now do you think i need someone like her in my life that bad? No. she can thinkg that all she wants i guess but theres some girl whose has a better chance at makeing in life than she does which is not fair but thats the way it is. so i wont lose sleep i just feel bad so sue me.thats why i wrote the letter to her cuz i felt bad. if she was a privilged girl i would be like go fvck urself and not been so sincere but i think she deserves a sincere apology. ive never wrote a girl a note like that ever. everytime ive said sorry i say "sorry" not get the fvck over it. but i just felt she deserved better from me.

 

[Zarky]

well you're definitely no Shakespeare but I always say that it's better to be too harsh with a woman and then have to apologize than not be harsh enough and bore her to tears.

Let us know how it works out. Many women out there get super turned on when men hurt them emotionally and then apologize. Over and over and over. This is actually kind of a good tactic to win over women. Hurt then heal, hurt then heal. It's like alternating pleasure and pain to women, which is chick crack.

 

[MattS]

ty zarky i like it. she might not reply to me about going but i bet she will text me sometime very shortly after just as long as i dont initiate again.

 

[KingofHearts]

don't be so apologetic. I've seen countless times when a girl ends up going out with a guy and she tells the story about how "I didn't even like him at first, I thought he was a jerk." You could be that guy!

Also, anybody that reads your wall of text (the second post) would tell you that you're going about this like a white knight, capt save a ho, beta etc. Dating is not like the movies and if she really is from the hood, then you she's going to run your ass over if you don't grow a pair, quick. You don't think a guy from the hood has never done her wrong before?

 

[MattS]

I know well atleast she knows i can be a d1ck now.

 

[MattS]

Update: so this broad called me today about an hour later than i told her too. But we ended up talking for an hour on the phone. At first she was like thanks for the apology it means alot and i accpet it blah blah no lets drop it im like fine. Then she proceeds not to drop it and starts getting into how she felt that night. she basically said no guy has ever talked to her like that...ie not jock her azz so hard. she said i was saying stupid sh1t she didnt know me that well i was this and that and my intentions were to take her to my house and fvck her . I was like
"well you got me mistaken i dont kow what kind of dudes you usally deal with but im just looking for a friend im not looking to date and she was like me too but all guys think with ther d1cks, then i said yea quit being scared of me thinking i want that from you i just want u as a friend to hang out with cuz i think youre cool. I dont care if your a girl or a guy i just like making freinds, hell last night i went to a movie with a girl (which is true) who is a friend no big deal do i wanna fcuk her? no." Then she waas like yea we dont know each other yet and i feel uncomfortable doing one on one things. im like geez i just got out of a 3.5yr ltr i dont want that from you were just going to be frineds so stop being a wimp and being worrried. Then she proceeded to say guys in the past blah blah blah (all hood azz trash probably) i was like well u obviusly know im not like them.
Then we started bsing shes like what ru doin for hallowwen i was like gonig to that club she was like im going to a house party. Im like cool and didnt say you should come with me cuz that would be stupid at this point.
BS some more with her then i say i gotta go and call me later when ur done being scared of me then she was what?!?! u call me later i was like ok bye.
This girl obv has issues with guys for sure and can't take personal jokes but shes cool. she says shes met guys here but obv got nothing on me as she said before that im the most down to earth person shes met here.
shes a little standoffish with me cuz she doesnt know me that well and thinks every move i do is jus to get in her pants. So i just put myself in the frined zone on purpose obv to be less threatening to her cuz i know all other dudes wanna fvck her that she has met here.
Im not going to call her tonight to chit chat like little girls on the phone but what i am goin to do is write her a text later tonight and say "glad you called me today c u around or talk to u later gd nite. im not setting up a date but im gving her a little harmless attention and not saying ill call you or you call me rather im leaving it open because im not going to initiate with her. by that she should write me a text or call me this weekened when she doesnt hear form me. Im not being a d1ck cuz i never said i would call her.

 

[f283000]

Women don't respect men that apologize to them or other women. Remember that and never apologize to a woman ever again.

It doesn't matter what the situation is. Women are attracted to masculine energy. They feed off the masculine energy/spontaneousness that men put out.

When a woman tries to get you to apologize for *** it's not cause she really cares or will make her happy. It's her subconscious mind making her do things to try to suppress your masculine energy. They are hardwired to do that.

Just take a look around at all the hot women with complete a**holes that do whatever they want without a care for anybody. You think those women stay with them because they apologized the first time? or the 2nd time? 3rd time? Shouldn't they have split up by now for all the *** they done?

The truth is such men don't apologize for what they do and women might frown on their behavior and their attitude but it's that stuff that gets them wet (they just don't tell you about it).

 

[cordoncordon]

Well sounds like you are getting second chance, but I don't believe for a second you just want to be 'friends" lol. And I'm sure she doesn't either. Just be calm and cool, lay off the negging so much. Its a good thing to do now and then, but like anything, if you do it too much, its not a good thing.

BTW, I'm dating an Asian girl myself. Her pics are in the what is an 8 thread. Lets see a pic of this girl. I know you have one.

 

[Bluntmaster]

Honestly I didn't think the apology letter was that bad.

 

[qazs022002]

So I met this girl last saturday. Ive known her sister for a long time but never met her until sat. I get her to go downtown with me to me meet up with my friend and his girl. we got along great cuz we have a lot of similar interests like music and we got each others jokes.

 

[MattS]

quaz-u think if you listen to eminem and date a girl that listens strictly to country music you will get along??? prboably not wise azz.

 

[Bluntmaster]

quaz-u think if you listen to eminem and date a girl that listens strictly to country music you will get along??? prboably not wise azz.

That guy is some sort of spam bot. See those links.. they just copy the first part of the post and repeat it to get idiots to click on the links.

 

[MattS]

Update: So last night i called her back like i said i would no answer so i said fvck it went to play poker and left my phone at home. get home at 3am and see a missed call from her obv didnt call her back cuz it was too late.
Tonight i cal lher at like 9:15 no answer been an hour and a half with no call back.I know she lives by her phone.knowning her azz she probalby thinks im playing with her or somehting buy not answering lastt night.
im obv not going to call or text her again. When sh ecalled yesterday she was explaining how she debated about when and what to say to me regarding her calling me back. so myabe a game player,aw or simply low IL.
This is erie to me cuz this situation is similar to this girl i was messing with a while back and that sh1t went back and forth with game playbing even though i try to not play games but felt i had too.
My prediction is that she wont call me back tonight if she did i would be very surprised. But most likely will call tomorrow saying she was doing some bs. if no call tomorrow a call this fri or sat is a good chance.
The main reason why i called her was to show her some content and give her some attention. Becuase now I can take it away which im goin gto do and find out where shes at. so we will see.

 

[Zarky]

ooh you kind of had her from the first night but kind of blew it during the phone convo. I was pretty sure she would make contact with you again even though you "insulted" her or whatever on the first night.

HOWEVER, I think you dropped her interest level on the phone by talking with her too much, and I think the "self friend-zoning" was a giant step sideways. Not much was accomplished there.

And then you guys kept missing each other on the phone.. sort of an excitement killer.

I think you should have kept the phone call to 10 minutes and set up something right away. If she said, "I don't like hanging out one on one" or whatever I would have said, "Oh that's too bad, you seemed pretty cool," and left it at that.

Agreeing with her as much as you did wasn't really believable (as one poster pointed out above) and now you're stuck in what I call a pendulum pattern, going back and forth with each of you trying to show you're less interested in the other. What happens is one person will call the other, who won't answer. Then the second person will call the first, who won't answer.. etc etc. It goes back and forth and is a tough thing to get out of, and finally slows down and nobody gets anything.

However, the OP has more game than 90% of the dudes here, and he might be able to pull this one out.

EDIT: Generally when a girl says, "All guys [X]," she means that she expects that behavior from you as well and it's ok. The biggest mistake guys make is when a girl says, "All guys want sex," they try to convince her that they're "different." She doesn't want different, she wants you to conform to what she believes "all guys" do.

When a girl says something like, "All guys just want sex," I move the topic away from me/guys to her: "Oh yeah? And what is it you want?" and she says, "Blah blah blah blah." And I go, "So you don't like sex." and she goes, "Of course I like it, but blah blah blah blah." And I say, "So what you're saying is when you really feel a connection, deep down inside, then you not only like sex but LOVE SEX." etc. etc. Now we're on the topic of sex in a positive way and now I can start talking extremely sexually with her. See the difference?

 

[MattS]

Pardon my sentences right now but im stoned as fck:
I agreed with her not to butt heads and be like me too because shes used to guys being like i wanna date so ill stick out for being different. honestly i bet she never heard a guy putting themselves in the freind zone and saying they dont want sex from them at all. Also as us justing being "friends" i can put up the smoke screen even though she might see through it but still, then I have more of a chance to grow on her because hey were just frineds so no pressure to sleep together or we are just hanign out adn i can fvck and date anyone i want.

She didnt call back just as i expected. So I have a couple of options.
1. Never initiate and if she calls, she calls
2. Call her Friday (todays wed)
I think its pretty needy if I attpemtn to contct her even one more time though. My gut says never initatie agian Any suggestions? everytime i think i should do soemthign its usually the opposite i should follow. i guess that would make me common because a lot of the human population acts on emotions and have very low self contol on acting on overbearing emotions and thats what the girls are use too. Im also guessing the majority of men that deal with her didnt stop at one attempt. i just thingk by me trying again she feels her value going tup with me and she sess my value goingdown. with that said im never initiating again lol.
I dont even know why im hung up on this girl not to be a snot but it can basically be looked at that im from beverly hills and went to harvard and have a phd(not literally) and shes from compton and went to compton community college and failed out her freshman year(could be true lol).
I think it could be is one her look, two shes hood sort of with an edge which i have never dealt with so its different, its nothing to do with the challlenge shes putting up if she is becuase iv dealt with way hotter and they became a challenge and i was like whatever so that wouldnt make sense.

 

[f283000]

follow the 2 strikes rule.

 

[MattS]

the 2 strikes rule is a double edged sword....u call again you look needy and pushy and yoru value gets lowered but you have achance to talk again if she answers. I just think one call no answere you walk away and it shows your willing to wlak away and shes nothing to you and you have other optoins. I justknow if i try one more time its done. I think no more initiation by chances are higher. All of this bs could be due to the fact that her sister is married to my cousin and her sister has been talking sh1t about me because shes known me for like 16y years