Narcissism : How to fight it?

[Alex DeLarge]

So the other day I was chatting with a really good friend of mine who happens to be a girl. This girl isn't like all of the other girls out there who are "Just friends" We never had anything more than platonic friendship. She will tell me things chicks never ever tell.

So the other day we were having a few drinks and watching some TV at her place and she tells me that she noticed I'm way more confident lately and it's really showing. She even said a mutual friend of ours is really into me now. I was flattered by the comment and thanked her, but then she went on to also tell me that I was narcissistic.

Now I had always heard this saying, but I never really fully understood what it meant.. It seemed like being proud of who you are is not a terrible thing at all. But I was telling this friend of mine that of the recent 5 girls that I have dated, none of them lasted me longer than 2 weeks to a month. Now this is sort of making sense.

So I just need an answer on how to overcome this problem. I still feel that there is nothing wrong with being proud of myself and my accomplishments. I try not to brag, but maybe I talk about myself too much?

 

[DanelMadr]

Being confident and humble is possible.

Attracting many girls is practicing or it can be serial dating or attention wh0ring. Calm down, find good target and explore it more than just number closing.

 

[Scars]

That's the problem with sites like this and other PUA material. They literally teach you how to be a narcissist. Most of the guys here have narcissistic personality disorder, or could easily be mistaken for having it by picking up the same traits. That's why we see so many borderline threads and other horrific dating stories, because this site teaches you how to attract nut cases. Negs would never work on attractive and TRULY confident woman, good thing almost all woman are insecure huh?

I've already came to terms with this realization. It sucks, and it was a hard pillow to swallow (much like first unplugging from the matrix), and now it's time for the next harsh truth. I see a lot of guys who have made it past the Matrix stage but are still in denial about why their relationships constantly fail. This is why.

Lately, I've been thinking the DJ way is garbage. I'm more or less following the path of a sociopath. If you keep following this material it's just going to turn you into one anyway. I guess some of us turn more cold and calloused sooner than others.

Anyway, to actually answer your question I'd say just ignore her comment. Woman never say anything of value anyway, at least when it comes to dating. Keep doing what you're doing. If you feel that your confidence is being mistaken for narcissism then right on, that's the same excuse I use too.

-Scars

 

[Zodiac]

Lately, I've been thinking the DJ way is garbage. I'm more or less following the path of a sociopath. If you keep following this material it's just going to turn you into one anyway. I guess some of us turn more cold and calloused sooner than others.

I have to agree with this statement; the DJ way overall gets you disappointed in people in general and teaches you in a sense how to prey upon the insecurities of women to get what you want through neg hits or backhanded compliments. Hell its how people like Tom Leykis got millions of dollars.

 

[Chamber36]

If you like looking at yourself in the mirror all day, why not do it? Mire your aesthetics bro.

I don't like the idea of narcissism. I think the concept was probably made up by some jealous haters. What's wrong with loving yourself?

 

[Chamber36]

You remind me of a friend I have who always brags to me about how sexy he is.

He's super alpha and he used to bang a sweet HB9. Now they broke up and he's heartbroken. Wherever he goes he just assumes that he has the highest value. Whenever there's another really high value male around they make a ****load of a commotion when they greet each other. Everybody has see them. He basically just does his thing, negs and laughs at people, and tries to make women qualify themselves. Recently he was ****faced drunk though and he drove the women to me.

 

[Strelok]

Listen at the guys here but keep in mind that the necessity to sh1t test men is compulsory on women therefore:

Any time a guy show he is confident or has his sh1t togheter they try something like a little push (u're narcisistic) to test the balance.
It's common they do their best to low down self esteem of guys they simply cannot accept the change of a normal guy becoming something more, seems like for them you either belong to the elitè or they have to take you down if you try to raise.

Asking you out with the only purpose of flaking is an other example, or lead you than ignore you or even stay with an other guy in front of you.

So again if what you're doing works and makes you happy keep doing it and as scars said they rarely say anything that makes sense or is a useful contribution when it comes of dating.

Btw sounds funny a girl complaining of narcisism while she is probably all day refreshing her facebook to see the new likes and comments while checking her cellphone.

 

[AlexDP]

You remind me of a friend I have who always brags to me about how sexy he is.

He's super alpha and he used to bang a sweet HB9. Now they broke up and he's heartbroken. Wherever he goes he just assumes that he has the highest value. Whenever there's another really high value male around they make a ****load of a commotion when they greet each other. Everybody has see them. He basically just does his thing, negs and laughs at people, and tries to make women qualify themselves. Recently he was ****faced drunk though and he drove the women to me.

See. Now that sounds like a true narcissist. Guess what, it's fake. Someone who truly has high self esteem doesn't care about the other high value male. He doesn't have to prove he's better. And certainly not with those stupid antics. A low quality or inexperienced woman won't be able to tell the difference, so a narcissist will have lots of women during his lifetime, but it comes with a lot of self loathing.

Hence the drinking by the way.

 

[Thundernuts]

Someone who truly has high self esteem doesn't care about the other high value male. He doesn't have to prove he's better.

See thats my general take on other guys when we are in the same place gaming the same women. Hell most of the time i know them personally and like them, but i do not seek to get everyone staring at me by making a **** ton of noise. Seriously 4 years olds do that. Now im not gonna be brazen to call myself an alpha yet because im still working on improving myself, but this site has really helped me out. I'm not reading the picking up women threads or questions about how to seal the deal.

I'm one of those guys who was digging for a site like this one because i was tired of losing women. Sick of it. I found this site and a member named Iceberg said some pretty cold ****, but i consider the advice of everyone even if its some guy on the internet who i will never get to meet in person. It was a cold b!tch-slap to the face. Thats why right now i dont care about women.

Alot of other guys come in because same scenario, they just see what this is and start reading and start going out and practicing. And yeah when its all said and done they will probably know more about women than i will but thats fine. I'm not trying to figure out how to score with women. If more men would focus more on self improvement and not dive right into pickup material i feel we would be hearing less members talk of narcisism and more members talking about how women are calling them confident and wanting their numbers and so on.

And btw, Scars, from what ive seen women want the guy(subconciously ofcourse) who doesn't give a **** so i can see where ur coming from on that. Kind of strange though aint it?

 

[dudewut]

Being confident and humble is possible.

really? How can you be confident if you are being humble?

 

[zekko]

Confidence and self esteem is a good thing, but I don't think that's what the OP is describing.

Remember, "****y and funny" needs the "funny" to make it work.
We've all known the guy who does nothing but talk and brag about himself and his accomplishments (real or imagined).
There is nothing charming about being a braggart.

 

[DanelMadr]

really? How can you be confident if you are being humble?

How can you be confident without being humble?

You are missing the big picture. As most of "confident' people are missing a it and it frustrates them, making them arrogant, narcissistic.

Thinking you are unique, better, valuable makes you vulnerable. Any dent can make you bleed and die and you fear it. Disrespect angers you.

Why nobody reads the small print in 'How to be an Alphamale'?
It says: 'Don't take yourself seriously.'

I know why. Because we are trading Nice Guy ego act for "Confident" ego act. And not really looking to the core of the problem. That we are nothing but a dust and thinking otherwise only f@cks things up for us.

 

[Aaron B]

this girl is probably not qualified to determine if you are in fact a narcissist

there is a test online you can take

I scored really high on it

here's one
http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/narcissistic.htm

 

[Poonani Maker]

Narcissist, creeper, they can call me whatever they want. I'm still fvcking a new one all the time.

 

[yuppaz]

A narcissist considers themselves perfect. no way you are one if you don't think your perfect

 

[Poonani Maker]

this girl is probably not qualified to determine if you are in fact a narcissist

there is a test online you can take

I scored really high on it

here's one
http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/narcissistic.htm

I scored 19 on that b!tch.

 

[Deicide]

I scored 19 on that b!tch.

I scored 25. LOL

 

[Scars]

The attitude of this thread doesn't surprise me either, as most narcissists are either in denial or they learn to accept their disorder and LOVE IT. It finally gives them an excuse to act out the way they are. "It's okay guys, I'm a narcissist."

-Scars

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Lol, I got 34 on this little test.

 

[Warrior74]

Consider the source. According to your testimony;

1. People notice a change.
2. This girl is a friend, either by choice or friendzoning.
3. Another woman threatens to take away her platonic friend.
4. Deflate your confidence and send you into a tail spin with a neg.
5. profit???? (thats a joke)

Just because a girl is your friend, don't confuse that with thinking she's not a girl. They are still girls. Always. They are girls before they are citizens of their country, humans and friends. Never forget. Consider the source. When you honestly think you are better than everyone else, you have achieved narcissism.

I achieved a 10 on that test. Apparently 12 is normal. hmm.....