Myth: women don't want an overly sexualized man

[corner boy]

Am currently reading Rollo's book "the rational male" and stumbled across a page in which he busts a myth:

"This stupid belief is rooted in the "something about Mary" myth that women don't want an overly sexualized man, but the biological truth is far from that. The myth is one that women need to be comfortable with a guy in order to sleep with him, so men will actively de-sexualize themselves in order to comply. However, all indications point to a need for sexual anxiety and tension in arousal to prompt sexual intercourse"

So women want sexualized men. I think I can confirm this with some sort of women. Since I've changed my demeanor and my way to talk (I talk more often about sex now and I make allusions), they also seem to behave different with me.

However I ask myself, if you can say in general, that women want sexualized men. For example feminists! I've made the experience that they react overly aggressive whenever confronted with a manly man. Is that kind of women an exception for this? Well actually I'm not interested in feminists anyway, but I just wonder if only some women want sexualized men.

What do you think about this topic?

 

[Bokanovsky]

Depends on what you mean by "sexualized". If you are talking about an overly horny, sex-deprived, "yay boobies!" kind of male (mental image: construction worker wolf-whistling every skirt that walks by), then no, women most certainly do not want that. Nor do they want any man who refers to the act of having sex as "getting lucky". Men like that reek of desperation, which is not sexy. However, women do respond positively to overt sexuality when it comes from a position of power and confidence.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I think the women of the world view men in whom they have interest as either providers of security, or providers of orgasms. They typically have to choose one or the other. I have known a lot of girls who got to their late 20's and married a nice safe guy with a good job. But knowing the history of who those girls used to fvck, the guys they are marrying are obviously not the type who turns them on.

A co-worker of my gf's is going through a similar dilemma. She has a great job and career, but can't find a man. The only guy she ever really clicked with sexually was a pro athlete who knocked her up. But now she's trying to date nice guys who are nothing like that. Every relationship fizzles after she has sex with them for the first time.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I think the women of the world view men in whom they have interest as either providers of security, or providers of orgasms.

Do you have much experience with "women of the world" or are you just assuming that women everywhere have the same outlook as American females? Serious question.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Admittedly, I tend to date within my own hemisphere, but I still think the provider vs sex issue presents itself for every woman.

 

[sylvester the cat]

had an interesting chat with my female colleage this evening. she comes across as a 'nice girl'. quiet, polite, no banter, like she has no game. i was asking her about previous bfriends etc and she was talking about a Canadian guy she was seeing and why they split up. apparently he was 'too nice', 'cheesy' with the texts and she said of him 'be a man'.

inside i was quite shocked to hear her come out with all this and it changed my behaviour with her. after work i was walking to the train station with her with my arm around her and 'mimicking' her cheesy ex...she was lapping it up saying stuff like, 'has anyone ever told you, you are funny?' and with no irony or sarcasm in her voice whatsoever...

I'm considering pushing it further but i really don't want another office drama again....

 

[Bokanovsky]

Admittedly, I tend to date within my own hemisphere, but I still think the provider vs sex issue presents itself for every woman.

In many countries, women get married off at a fairly young age (i.e. in their teens or early 20's at the latest) and never get a chance to ride the carousel. As a result, those women do not get a chance to sample the c0ck buffet and develop a taste for the spicy bad boy sausage...and are quite content with the more plain beta male wiener. Nothing damages women more permanently and irreversibly than the c0ck carousel. There is a reason why female virginity has been considered a great virtue throughout history.

 

[apprenticedj]

This is a broad subject but at the end of the day heterosexual woman are attracted to men they view as masculine on a biological level. They can't help it, it's nature. It's all about finding the way to be masculine in modern society. You mentioned feminists (heterosexual of course), I think they STILL desire masculinity. Their aggressive reaction to masculinity is caused by a disconnect between the conscious and subconscious minds. Their conscious mind is telling them that men are piggish oppressors who love to control women while subconsciously her need to be dominated is causing her to be aroused by a masculine man. This causes their mind to short circuit and that translates to hostility.

Much has been said on SS about popular culture making men weak or portraying meek, nerdy, sensitive men as successful with and desired by women. In the real world it's simply not the same. For every soft spoken Joseph Gordon Levitt out there smashing chicks there are ten Chris Hemsworths that are outdoing them, day in and day out. Sad but true.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Women respond to men in authority and who demand respect. It makes them cream themselves when a man assumes that position and she sees a man lead other men/women/children.

Forget talking sexually, that will make you look like a perv-o.

 

[NewJack]

something something... an overly sexualized man ...something something..

There is no one archetype or expression of masculine sexuality that women have settled on as best. There is not even a useful average, in my view.

"Strong, manly man" is often only created by men who think "I used to be weak and the world sh1tted on me for it". Which is a less self-aware way of stating "I decided at some point to hate myself for being weak, and now I see that reflected in my daily life".

The purpose of these ideas is to make men feel safe by giving them a model of sexuality that is Right and that is Going To Help Them. Its more about reassuring ourselves than its about attracting women. Men field test these ideas while they themselves are supremely influenced by the self-judgments reflected in these ideas, and then they report back pseudo-objectively on "How The Women Responded To Me".

What they are observing is the external confirmation of their beliefs, through a mechanism that they don't understand: women liked them in those moments when they ceased judging themselves. If they could escape self-judgment by becoming Thor The Strong Man, then in the moment when their face reflected the lack of self-judgment, their eyes were open to the fact that women loved them. In the moment when they were unsure whether they were Weak Cowardly Faggots, the women didn't reflect love as strongly back at them, because they couldn't see it. This is because of an absence of self-love, not because women can't or don't love "weak faggots".

Its just a matter of what mask you have to wear to be able to tolerate yourself. If you have to wear a heavy, thick Mask, like that of Thor The Strong Man, to tolerate yourself, then life is slightly more difficult than those of us who can tolerate seeing ourselves wearing thinner and less heavy masks. And whaddayaknow, women still love us.

 

[n00bPimp]

A male dominated society will have no idea what a girl trully wants