My world has turned

[bobby87]

First i want to say to everyone, dont waste a day of your life, you dont know when things can change and what day it might be. So live everyday to the max! Do not waste a day!

Im saying this coz my world has turned completely upside down. I got into a major car accident a month ago from which i was very lucky to come out alive. My face though has been majorly disfigured from the crash (think Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky). My bottom lip has lost all control and droops down showing all of my bottom gum and teeth. My muscles in my chin have also been damaged and the my chin has kind of all bunched up (hard to explain but it looks real bad). I look straight out disfigured and cant even leave the house anymore. Doctors have told me with no bull****, that theres nothing that can be done.

I came onto this site especially to check my post history and read all my posts and just broke down in tears. This was the only place where i could see the old me in words. All those posts from me seem so far away.

This seems like a nightmare to me and im just waiting to wake up. But i know i won't. Ive been crying non stop for about a month. Everytime in my sleep im replaying the moment and what i could of done differently. I cant stop fantasizing about the past too, from juniors to high school to now, all my life basically as i know i aint got a future anymore.

I got no idea what lies for me. Ive got my friends and family and they've both been strong for me but apart from that it will be hard for me to have anything. Girls? Theres nothing left for me there. No girl in there right mind would contemplate even being near me and i know i wouldnt want to be with a fat girl if she accepts my beautiful inside. I didnt even like the movie Vanilla Sky before, but ive watched it nearly everyday since.

I cant even stop looking at pictures of my old self. I was a good looking guy. There might be a pic of me still here. My first post here i was asking whether i should get facial hair to get some older girl i wanted. lol good times. One thing i can look back on is that i at least lived my life to the max. High school, i made it well there. Im also happy i aint got many regrets. I can only regret missing one oppurtunity with a girl in school but apart from that i went out with three dimes.

Im going to stop now but it really felt good letting this out. Outside i just havent been able to let my feelings out.

But again to everyone on this site do not waste a day, believe me.

Peace to all of you.

 

[Best friends? NAY]

Thanks for the reminder bro.
Sorry to hear that about you, and good luck to you.

 

[Jariel]

That was very upsetting to read and I offer my condolences. What you are dealing with is a lot like a bereavement. You are mourning the loss of your looks, the lifestyle and hopes you have known. It has to be one of the hardest things a person can ever encounter in life and you will emerge from this stronger than most people here could imagine.

I am not a religious or preachy person, but if there's one thing I can recommend to you it's Buddhism. Just the teachings and theories, not the ceremonial and spiritual side of it. Buddhism offers a lot of wise words about acceptance, letting go and feeling internal happiness. It won't give you back what you lost in your accident, but it may help you to come to terms with it and find happiness by other means.

Reading your post has made me think a lot about getting the most out of life other than women, popularity and alike. Hell, it's actually made me realise how damn shallow I have become and how much I neglect the things that matter, such as family, friends, the ability to think, create and express myself, and just experience life. No doubt this applies to most guys here too.

Thanks for sharing and I wish you the best of luck overcoming this.

 

[BxPrince24]

you don't know how sorry I feel that that accident happened. I totally understand where you're coming from. But one thing I disagree with, yea, you're disfigured, but I highly doubt that it means that you have no future with women again.

Think past all these shallow b*tches who go for looks, there are many great looking women who don't look at physical as much as you think. You say you're a great guy, so why does a change to the physical have to change anything? Your friends and family still love you, it is possible for a woman to fall in love with you aswell.

I believe that once you have the ability to make a woman smile, then you have the ability to take her heart. Believe me, it won't be easy, but I think that there's no reason for you to give up now. I'm real sorry to hear that what happened, but don't make this be the end for you bro. I've seen shows where beautiful women go out with guys who you wouldn't even dream of seeing them with. I know you can do it, but it's up to you to believe it.

Also know that yes, people will stare, people will whisper, its something that you have to accept and not let bother you, once you can make people smile and have a good time, then they'll enjoy your company. Best wishes to you.

 

[sstype]

The doctors also told Lance Armstrong he could never ride a bike again

dude...you dont have to suffer like this if you dont want to. Find someone that does reconstructive surgery. Get a consultation...and see what happens from there.

Take control of your life, not the other way around.

 

[BxPrince24]

that's if he has the money to do so. I'm sure that they could do something. But like I said, this does not have to be the end for you.

 

[.illadelph]

i feel for you man. thanks for the reminder, i sincerely hope people take your words as advice, because any kind of freak accident can happen at any time, and all these little things we fret about daily, like talking to the girl we like or whatever will seem so minute. It's time to take control now, because we'll never know what we had, until it's gone. Thanks a lot man. Get well, and i hope all turns out alright.

 

[Bonhomme]

Thanks for the "wake up call"

Sure as hell makes our petty little problems sink into insignificance.

Don't know what to say, but there may be creative ways to improve things. Hell, I heard of someone who got online, and got people to send them enough pennies (of course some sent much more) to get them through college.

Whatever you do, best of luck with it.

 

[Bible_Belt]

First, although it is hard, it still is what you make of it. David D. has a friend who is wheelchair-bound with brittle bone disease and that guy still gets hot women.

And secondly, it really is what is inside of you that counts.
"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outer appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
1 Samuel 16:7
http://bible.gospelcom.net/

 

[diablo]

Sorry to hear about that;you're right that we don't usually realize what we have until it's not around anymore - cliche but true nonetheless.

Moved to AE.

 

[Q-Pid]

**** brah sorry to hear that! Kinda puts things in perspective around here.

Hope you get through the rough patch. best thing about rock bottom is that things can only get better

...And she's out there somewhere

 

[silverwex]

Man, so sorry to hear about that accident, it sure does make all our 'problems' pale into insignificance.

Im telling you though, reconstructive surgery can DEFINATELY do something/a lot for you - out of curiousity I've looked into this before (i dont need it but i was just wondering about that whole area).

Try a search on google and see what you find. Theres always something you can do.

Good luck and keep us posted on the progress you WILL make.

silver

 

[MetalFortress]

Look, you are not at the end of the road with girls. Observe this image...

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=229703

You might be wondering what's so special about that. Look!

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=217597

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=217600

If this guy can marry a hottie like that, and bodybuild/weightlift with no arms whatsoever, then YOU can still accomplish your dreams as well!

If God brought you to it, He will bring you through it. There is no giving up hope in this neck of the woods! Trust in Him first and you will be taken care of!

 

[dannyc]

Holy **** dude, im sorry to hear that. Keep your head up and always be looking for a solution until the end. There has to be a solution to improve thing at least a bit.

I know this is odd but if you finding it hard to go out and show your face, just wear a scarf covering your chin and where the damage is. Just thought id put that across coz i do that sometimes when im cold as hell.

Don't let this **** beat you. Theres so many doctors out there, dont just listen to what a few say.

Good luck.

 

[DrMetallica]

For myself, I've always been really scared about getting into a car crash and something horrible happening. I drive a lot, 20,000mi a year, and thank God something hasn't happened yet. There have been a lot of near misses. Do you have any advice from your experience to avoid?


Be strong man... there are so many more beautiful things in life than women. I wish the best for you, and I'm not just saying that, I really wish the best.

 

[Ricky]

We will keep you in our prayers. If you need anything let us know. We are all brothers in this game of life.

 

[Nocturnal]

People are telling you and will tell you that they are very sorry for you and will try to give you hope bundled with their sympathies, but that won't change the reality of the situation.

The reality of the situation is that your life has changed, and there is nothing you can do to undo it. Your face might be scarred, but that should not stop you from living how you want to live. It will just mean you might have to work a little harder. Self pity might be expected, but it is not going to help you. You need to pick yourself up and worry about the things that you can change--your future. Don't forget your dreams and don't forget that you still have the capacity to achieve them.

Women? Yes you will have a harder time with women. But don't let that make you settle for less than your highest standards, and don't think you need women to enjoy life. They can be nice, but are not necessary.

Remember, it is your face that is scarred. Your soul still has the chance to make it out unscathed.

 

[brucevangeorge]

Holy shyt MetalFortress! Where did you get those pics?

How the hell did he do that? He's got ONE ARM. For a cripple hes in AMAZING shape.

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by brucevangeorge
Holy shyt MetalFortress! Where did you get those pics?

How the hell did he do that? He's got ONE ARM. For a cripple hes in AMAZING shape.

MindOverMatter posted the link to the thread the guy made awhile ago on H+F. This dude is awesome.

 

[italostud]

Like someone said before, you never know when stuff like this could happen. Sometimes I think about that when I'm driving around. Someone could just come out of nowhere and blindside me, leaving me in any kind of state, dead, paralysed, disfigured etc. It's something you sometimes have no control over.

If you don't mind me asking, how did the accident happen?

As far as your disfigurement, it sounds like you only have nerve damage, right? No skin torn off, facial bones broken that they had to reconstruct? If so, isn't there any kind of surgery to fix that, or at least try to improve it?

BTW, your post is the first one in a while that actually made me think. It really does put things in perspective.