My thoughts on being stood up (feedback appreciated)

[SuperScott]

Hi all!
Here's the situation:
I'm a college student at a very large school. Last week in one of my lecture classes I met a very attractive girl. I talked to her during the class and she seemed cool. After the class I asked her if she wanted to go out sometime, got the number and split. I called her on sunday night (i met her friday morning in case you were wondering) and set up a date for yesterday night. I called her last night to about 30 mins before we were supposed to meet up (we were going to a restaurant on campus so the plan was that we were going to decide on a place to meet up that night and walk to the restaurant together) So I call her and she gives me some bull**** about having too much stuff to do that night and she can't go. What I did next was ask her if she wanted to go to lunch today (her last class is the lecture I met her in and I have a lot of free time around lunch. besides I have to eat anyway so if she backed out no big deal.)
To no one's surprise she backed out of lunch while I was talking to her in class today. She's obviously not interested since she blew me off not once but twice (and at the last minute at that) so i'm not going to waste any more time on her.

My question to all of you is this: In this situation I felt an urge to come right out and call her on her bull****, but I didn't even though I knew she was lying. Is it better to be a hard ass and say something like "if you didn't want to go out with me you should have just said no when I asked you instead of wasting my time" or just walk away from the situation without saying anything?

 

[Chewy Bagel]

Your answer can be found in the DJ bible.

Had you read the bible you would have known that when a girl rejects one date plan without counter-offering with a different plan, then she's not interested.

Be classy about the rejection and move on to the next chick. There is no need for additional drama - it won't change how she feels and makes you look like a dyck.

Cheers!

 

[dontmindme]

Nah, just leave it at that. Too many girls do that, and it's just pointless to be calling them on it all the time.

 

[Austin Allegro]

You know it's bullsh*t, she knows it's bullsh*t, she knows you know she know's it's bullsh*t...if you react negatively she'll have got one over you with her BS, so accept it gracefully and move on.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by SuperScott
My question to all of you is this: In this situation I felt an urge to come right out and call her on her bull****, but I didn't even though I knew she was lying. Is it better to be a hard ass and say something like "if you didn't want to go out with me you should have just said no when I asked you instead of wasting my time" or just walk away from the situation without saying anything?

Calling her on it afterwards just shows your frustration. Don't give her a second thought or any further attention until she approaches you.

 

[WestCoaster]

Sometimes confrontation is needed

I usually don't advocate confrontation, it's so anti-DJism ... however, sometimes this is the only way these women will learn. In my AFC days I went through a string of stand-ups and put up with it like a beaten dog.

This one gal dissed me, didn't even show and I was writing some stupid note on her dorm room message board. "Where are you," or some AFC thing.

My friend the DJ then says, "F-ck it. Erases it and writes, "Where in the he-l were you?!"

Me and DJ friend go out drinking and I get a message at home from the gal apologizing profusely. Lesson learned.

Another time I confronted a gal for the stand-up at her place of work ... that did not work. Biatch anyway, but still, pick and choose your battles and make sure they're at the correct locations.

 

[cgraz]

I can't remember where I read this, but I'm not taking credit for this idea, but it's genious.

When you're supposed to meet a girl for coffee or whatever, and she doesn't show, give her a call the next day and say

"Hey this is [Cgraz]. I wanted to call and apoligize for not making it to [coffee] yesterday. [My car broke down] (or whatever excuse you want to make) ....

Then if the girl says "Oh it's ok. I actually couldn't make it either" bla bla bla, she's atleast being honest with you.

If she tries to make you feel bad or doesn't fess up, then you know she's not honest.

Either way it saves face, which is the important thing

Cgraz

 

[Walden]

I recently had an 8.5 stand me up .I was muy pissed off but it then turned out it was agenuine misunderstanding (she's dumb as a post).

Point here is don't next too soon. Tho this one sounds like she's not in the market.
Potential solution: Mention your girlfriend (so you're out of the market) then meet her for cofee genuinely as friends and use her as SP or start working SS on her.

Seriously I'm experimenting with SS and have seen it do some ****scary things.