My stupid oneitis story

[blackatheart]

Sorry to be posting another oneitis story, but I wonder if anyone has been through something like this. I feel really, really, grimy right now.

My very good friend has had a girlfriend for almost 3 years. I ended up attending one of those college dinners w/ him and she happened to be there. So the night before I went online to ask her questions like if she was going, what the dress code was etc. I'm not gonna lie I'm crazy AFC and we were both nervous meeting each other for first time after hearin so much from the bf/my friend. We ended up talkin 3 hrs that nite.

And after that it became worse. 5 hour conversations online, then talking on the phone for hours, till the point where we would hang out together the whole day. The stupid part is that we both honest to god thought it was just a strong connection like a best friend thing. We cared for each other but I mean she was crazy abt her bf and i was just looking for a good friend.

But please, now its so obvious that close plutonic relationships are an impossibility. Before I even realized I had feelings for her I knew I was becoming attached to her and that it was hurting my friend inside, so I decided it had 2 end. And I told her we would have 2 stop talking until I got over- then we could be chill friends. But she has feelings for me too, and is having trouble not keeping in contact. She told her bf, and its hurting him so much I can't even imagine. I thought my pain of losing her was bad enough for the two days I didn't speak to her, but for gods sake he's been w/ her for 3 years.

So now I'm telling her for the last two nights, ending this is our only option for everyone's sake. And she agrees, but is so afraid to let go. I really think I'll be able to get over her, its the human condition to adapt to your surroundings and if shes not in my surroundings then in time ill be fine. But its really hard when the constant thought on my mind is: is she going to contact me today? I don't want to reach the point where I have to entirely ignore her, and we're all going to the same college. So how do I get rid of oneitis if theres always that possibility shes going to keep coming back in my life and making it impossible to forget her?

 

[MARVEL IQ]

Hmm...how is it going? good i hope.
The thing here is that you are forgeting one thing. It is all up to you, you have the able to make yourself forget her.

The way i handled something similar to this was having a talk with myself. Have a convo with yourself figure out why you are so into her. Is it cause you can't have her? or is it cause she is just alot like my ideal woman. Whatever it is, just know its ok to like someone but also understand that you are old enough now to control what your actions are.

As for the constant thinking of her, you are doing the right thing. It may be you just have to ignore her for a while, seriously but thats the truth.

Remember the method to cure all oneititis, go out and hook up with 12 other girls and then see if you are still so into your oneititis. So get our there and make something happen.

Stay strong.

Love,
Marvel IQ

 

[KontrollerX]

How stupid.

If you want her go for her.

It sucks for the other guy to be sure but if you both have feelings for eachother you might as well get together and be done with it or live with a long time of regret.

She'll just have to end things with the other guy first so your consciences are a little more clear.

Besides because of what happened with you two I doubt the relationship with her and the other guy will last even without you in the picture.

 

[Phat]

****...3 years? Man that guy must be flipping out about you trying to get his babe .

 

[blackatheart]

thank you marvel for the advice. the more I think about it, the more I realize I cared about her so much was because she was the only one to ever make me feel happy just being me. I have a serious inferiority complex, and the only time I didn't care was with her. It feels like I lost her when I needed her most, but that just proves your point further. This shouldn't have anything to do with her. I'm the one who has to change- but still its like through all this sadness I read through our old conversations and think back on stupid memories and I'm happy again. god if i'm this hooked i can't even fathom how my friend would feel if he lost her after 3 years. ugh I have to see her at his graduation party next sat. and this sat at a college gathering. i hope it'll be easier to start forgetting, start moving on, and start changing in the summer. right now so much school stress and all I can think about is her- can't wait for this to be over lol. thanks a lot once again

 

[Nighthawk]

I suppose you are too in 'love' to consider the possibility that having two men chasing her suits this little minx and that she should have been more careful about having five hour phone conversations and hanging out all day with her bfs best friend?

Time and manly control will cure oneitis.

 

[blackatheart]

I thought about that I even yelled at her at one point but after talking to her and realizing the pain shes goin through I don't think it would be fair to say that two guys chasing her "suits" her. I know she's been having relationship probs w/ my friend, and she told me that I was starting to make her feel special like how my friend used to. but i think after she talked to him about the situation and seeing him cry that she realized he really does care for her, and in the end I think that's all she wanted- someone to care about her. god i'm sorry for all this i'm sure its quite obvious that i'm just looking for people to talk to about this. thank you