I started posting on this forum a month ago. I've been lurking for a few years, but I decided it would be best to get more active and get my specific questions answered as I continue my quest to improve myself.
I'm 25 years old. I've never had a girlfriend before. I've been on a few dates.
Worst of all: I've never kissed a girl.
Growing up, I was nerdy. I focused on school and sports (I'm not athletic; I'm actually quite thin and small, but have started working out to add muscle, but I still love sports) and that was pretty much it. But I was generally happy and this has had a payoff in that I've done well in my education.
There was a girl I crushed on in high school for a couple years, then went completely AFC on. Had her for a few days (though never physically, but she was kind of "with" me), before she LJBF'd me. This sent me into a downward spiral for about a year (wow this is really pathetic, writing this all out.). Even worse, this made me even quieter and more private; I wasn't social at all and pretty much lost all my friends.
I transferred to multiple colleges between 17-21 years of age. I took a full course load each semester, basically having to do a waiver to take more than the allowed credit hours. The colleges I went to were commuter campus types. Therefore I never immersed myself into college life.
When I was 19, I was tired of being private. I began to break out of my shell, taking small steps, making small talk to people. I resolved to just "talk" to girls with no end game. So I started introducing myself to girls. This helped my social skills, though not my game specifically as I eventually developed oneitis for all these girls. One girl expressed a lot of interest in me, but I was too scared to do anything about it. She's the only girl so far who actually crushed on me in my life. But I don't have her number anymore and don't know where she is, so I can't rectify it.
I then ran into another girl I really liked, but took too long to show my interest. This was when I was 20. Got my first date with her, but by then I was pretty much friend zoned. This sent me into another depression spiral of 10 months.
I started medical school. Being one of the younger guys in the class (21 when I started) and realizing it wasn't so much like college because many of my peers were older and married, I was robbed of a pool of available women. I asked out about four girls from my class, got rejected by all of them, even the ugliest ones. However, I was able to completely break out of my shell and become one of the more popular students in my class. I discovered that I could actually be funny and hold conversations.
Eventually I ran into a girl from my old college days. She was attractive, had similar interests as me, and could actually hold a conversation. I could say she was the first girl that I really felt like I clicked with. Of course, she had a boyfriend of almost four years. I tried to eject after our first meet up. However she kept texting me to meet up with her and, enjoying the attention, I eventually gave in only to feel really emasculated in her presence. I knew it was too late to escalate and I should have done it in the beginning and ignore the bf thing, but it was too late. I told her that I couldn't hang out with her anymore because I don't do that with taken women and if she ever got sick of her boyfriend, to holler at me and maybe we'd see. She didn't take this well at all.
I tried to meet up with her a while later, which she agreed to, then flaked. So that's the end of that and that's where I'm at.
With all that said, I'm pretty well set up. I'm finishing medical school in a few months and will be a full-fledged doctor. I have a nice car. I dress 1000% better than I used to and groom myself much better. People love talking to me and I love talking to people.
However, it's very difficult going out and meeting new women. I'm so busy all the time and my social circle is so spread out that it's hard to go to clubs. I talk to women on the street or at the bookstore or whatever, but I don't close since many of them are married or older or something like that.
I'm reading the DJ Bible and implementing its strategies. But too be honest I've internalized a lot of it at this point; it's time to put it in practice. But when the sample size of women I've met is so small, it's hard not to be dragged down by recent bad experiences (like the girl with the boyfriend, etc.).
When I used to tell people I never had a girlfriend, they're surprised. But that's because they didn't know the old me. I'm also of an ethnicity that's in the minority, but I know that doesn't matter in the long run. It sucks that a lot of the hot, quality women at my age are taken; I wish I was this version of me when I was 14, 15. I wish I hadn't missed out on college life. But I know it doesn't work like that.
I just wanted you guys to hear me out. Any guidance or wisdom or advice is much appreciated. I'm not whining at all; I'm open to learning new things and trying to improve myself.
I'm 25 years old. I've never had a girlfriend before. I've been on a few dates.
Worst of all: I've never kissed a girl.
Growing up, I was nerdy. I focused on school and sports (I'm not athletic; I'm actually quite thin and small, but have started working out to add muscle, but I still love sports) and that was pretty much it. But I was generally happy and this has had a payoff in that I've done well in my education.
There was a girl I crushed on in high school for a couple years, then went completely AFC on. Had her for a few days (though never physically, but she was kind of "with" me), before she LJBF'd me. This sent me into a downward spiral for about a year (wow this is really pathetic, writing this all out.). Even worse, this made me even quieter and more private; I wasn't social at all and pretty much lost all my friends.
I transferred to multiple colleges between 17-21 years of age. I took a full course load each semester, basically having to do a waiver to take more than the allowed credit hours. The colleges I went to were commuter campus types. Therefore I never immersed myself into college life.
When I was 19, I was tired of being private. I began to break out of my shell, taking small steps, making small talk to people. I resolved to just "talk" to girls with no end game. So I started introducing myself to girls. This helped my social skills, though not my game specifically as I eventually developed oneitis for all these girls. One girl expressed a lot of interest in me, but I was too scared to do anything about it. She's the only girl so far who actually crushed on me in my life. But I don't have her number anymore and don't know where she is, so I can't rectify it.
I then ran into another girl I really liked, but took too long to show my interest. This was when I was 20. Got my first date with her, but by then I was pretty much friend zoned. This sent me into another depression spiral of 10 months.
I started medical school. Being one of the younger guys in the class (21 when I started) and realizing it wasn't so much like college because many of my peers were older and married, I was robbed of a pool of available women. I asked out about four girls from my class, got rejected by all of them, even the ugliest ones. However, I was able to completely break out of my shell and become one of the more popular students in my class. I discovered that I could actually be funny and hold conversations.
Eventually I ran into a girl from my old college days. She was attractive, had similar interests as me, and could actually hold a conversation. I could say she was the first girl that I really felt like I clicked with. Of course, she had a boyfriend of almost four years. I tried to eject after our first meet up. However she kept texting me to meet up with her and, enjoying the attention, I eventually gave in only to feel really emasculated in her presence. I knew it was too late to escalate and I should have done it in the beginning and ignore the bf thing, but it was too late. I told her that I couldn't hang out with her anymore because I don't do that with taken women and if she ever got sick of her boyfriend, to holler at me and maybe we'd see. She didn't take this well at all.
I tried to meet up with her a while later, which she agreed to, then flaked. So that's the end of that and that's where I'm at.
With all that said, I'm pretty well set up. I'm finishing medical school in a few months and will be a full-fledged doctor. I have a nice car. I dress 1000% better than I used to and groom myself much better. People love talking to me and I love talking to people.
However, it's very difficult going out and meeting new women. I'm so busy all the time and my social circle is so spread out that it's hard to go to clubs. I talk to women on the street or at the bookstore or whatever, but I don't close since many of them are married or older or something like that.
I'm reading the DJ Bible and implementing its strategies. But too be honest I've internalized a lot of it at this point; it's time to put it in practice. But when the sample size of women I've met is so small, it's hard not to be dragged down by recent bad experiences (like the girl with the boyfriend, etc.).
When I used to tell people I never had a girlfriend, they're surprised. But that's because they didn't know the old me. I'm also of an ethnicity that's in the minority, but I know that doesn't matter in the long run. It sucks that a lot of the hot, quality women at my age are taken; I wish I was this version of me when I was 14, 15. I wish I hadn't missed out on college life. But I know it doesn't work like that.
I just wanted you guys to hear me out. Any guidance or wisdom or advice is much appreciated. I'm not whining at all; I'm open to learning new things and trying to improve myself.
