My Social Circle Is Spread Out

[jaymbrs]

The social circle I have where we used to roll up to the bar at least 10 deep have all scattered. And although we all keep in touch, we all now live in different places. I’m the guiltiest of them all having relocated 3 times in 6 years but most of us can still get together on occasion. Either I travel or they do. But what I’ve found is this makes it mentally difficult to move on and create another social circle in my current location. I just don’t feel a NEED to form another social circle. But I’m starting to feel it’s hindering me in the dating world. I felt it the most when a woman I recently met wanted me to introduce her single gf to one of my friends. I had to explain none of them were local. She thought that was strange. So here I am typing this up at a sports bar looking for male friends lol. Life is a trip.

 

[SW15]

This is a normal thing in the "Mature Man" category, especially for men ages 30+.

The social circle I have where we used to roll up to the bar at least 10 deep have all scattered. And although we all keep in touch, we all now live in different places. I’m the guiltiest of them all having relocated 3 times in 6 years but most of us can still get together on occasion.

This has happened to me in Dallas to an extent. When I moved to Dallas in the early 2010s, I got into a social circle with other adult transplants near my own age AND who lived within a few miles of where I lived. Over time, people married and moved to various suburbs in the Dallas-Fort Worth (DFW) area. A few people moved out of the region. When I consider the ones who stayed in DFW, those ones are so spread out across the area and there's little incentive to get together with them. They are mostly busy with married guy stuff, and a few of the married acquaintances from the deep circle have small children now. It's a fractured social circle from my perspective.

I have some other friends outside that primary social circle I described. Those ones are scattered too within DFW.

what I’ve found is this makes it mentally difficult to move on and create another social circle in my current location. I just don’t feel a NEED to form another social circle. But I’m starting to feel it’s hindering me in the dating world.

I have experienced a similar thing. At this point, I likely need to focus more of my time on making new friends in Dallas and invest less in my longer term friendships with now married guys in Dallas suburbs. I have a lot going so making new male friends closer to where I live isn't a major priority. It's definitely hurting me in the dating world. I don't get any social circle introductions now and no one vouches for me. However, even when my primary social circle was mostly in Dallas, I had to go outside the circle to date. There were ridiculous competitions among multiple men in my primary circle when a few women came into the circle.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Mine’s fragmented even more since Covid.

 

[Travel memoir21]

Man…..I wasn’t aware of it at that time but I used to have a lot friends and acquaintances I could just chill with in my early 20s. From Bars, basketball pick up games and running across random people at Starbucks who goes to my college.

As I got older, and people started to have families, my circle became smaller. I recently talked to an old friend who just stopped by to visit last week, haven’t seen him in ages….but man time goes by quick.

I say if you’re young, you got the whole world in front of you…learn to enjoy it while you can because it will all go by in a blink of an eye and you’ll either find yourself with a family with a backyard and white picket fence or some middle age dude who has to deal with his solitude like me.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

2 of my good friends got puzzy whooped once they found a good girl. I mean I don’t blame them especially with this famine of quality female supply but still bros before h0es till the casket drops.
I never stopped pulling up on my day 1s even when I had a girlfriend.

 

[ManFromTartarus]

It effects all of us, and friends getting hitched and raising children thins out the male social circle even more. Not to mention if you've been thru tough times for extended periods (like myself) and have gone thru a time of introversion, and have to start almost from scratch to build a social life again, it can be really hard.

All I can say is friends come an go, but life is like a passing parade and you have to keep marching on. ... and that means socially too.

I read another thread earlier today about a SS member that has a problem with men approaching him just to be social, and he wasn't too cool with it. Maybe that's the opposite of what you're going thru, but it might be the time to make some new friends.

 

[jaymbrs]

2 of my good friends got puzzy whooped once they found a good girl. I mean I don’t blame them especially with this famine of quality female supply but still bros before h0es till the casket drops.
I never stopped pulling up on my day 1s even when I had a girlfriend.

I knew a few who were like this but I cut them out once I realized they were only down to kick it when they had problems in their relationships. And I compared them to the friends I still have who got married and started families, yet are still available within reason to hang out. It's a healthy lifestyle.

 

[BMX]

This one facet has made the struggle more real. If they aren't treating it like the two-way street that it is/was, you may have to consider ditching some of them.