My slanted snake....

Boricua_33015

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My d*ck slants to the left. It used to be straight but now it slants to the left. Its not curved, its still straight. What can I do to get it back to point forward again?
 

Iceberg

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I'll tell you what you gotta do. You down about half a bottle of vodka, grab a hammer and smack that sonofa***** rigth back in place.
 

mrsoy

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a lot of mens ****s go on a slant,dont worry about it. its natural,i really dont think a chick will care as long as you know how to use it.
 

bigforearms

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Most ****s have a slight slant. It's one of those things that only the owner really notices, unless it's really drastic. Since yours doesn't sound drastic, I wouldn't worry about it.

You could always become ambidextrous, but I'm not sure that would really help. :)
 

Boricua_33015

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I think my slant IS drastic.

At first it was a slight slant. Now its slants to the left and also twists a little to the left. (got a good mental picture huh? lol youuuuu faggot!)

Newayz, I have a Penile Health document that was posted here a long time ago. It conatins 31 pages covering everything from exercises that make the penis bigger to removing curves to ejaculatory control.

I have been lazy though and have not read the entire thing.

So I am asking if you guys know anything about this.

Im going to look up the word ambidextrous.....
 

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Iceberg

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Originally posted by Boricua_33015
Im going to look up the word ambidextrous.....
He's saying you should learn to wank off with both hands instead of just one.


Anyway, most guys penises are slanted to one direction or another. Even if yours is drastic, women really don't care.
 

WORKEROUTER

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Originally posted by Boricua_33015
My d*ck slants to the left. It used to be straight but now it slants to the left. Its not curved, its still straight. What can I do to get it back to point forward again?
Looks like your jackin the ole one eyed snake too much with your left hand..use your right hand until you make it straight again.

Always try to keep it in a steady equlibrium.
 

Smooth as Anything

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Re: Re: My slanted snake....

Originally posted by WORKEROUTER
Looks like your jackin the ole one eyed snake too much with your left hand..use your right hand until you make it straight again.

Always try to keep it in a steady equlibrium.
I hope your joking :D

In my own experince I've had my penis slant both ways... It was a matter of where it rested in my crotch.

Do kind of underwear do you wear? Strange question, and I am very far from a health professional, but who knows.

Be optimistic :)
 

Boricua_33015

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Actually I think WORKEROUTER is not joking. I actually do choke my snake with my left hand. I guess its time to switch.

I wear breifs. I should wear boxers though. I heard that breifs keeps the d1ck from growing to its full potential. Is that true?

Keep in mind I actually wear over sized breifs. Since all breifs are stretchy I buy them 2 sizes bigger and they fit well.
 

Cheiradawg

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Dude,

Seriously spank it with the other hand. I had the exact same problem when I was 17 and just kinda did a cause and effect analysis of the situtation and I came to find out that that actually was the problem. It takes a lot of time to get it back straight so ya got alot of work to do!!!
 

JoE BoXeR

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I heard this question before on a sex show and the "slanted snake" lol, has nothing to do with the way you masturbate. You could jerk it with the same hand every time and the worst you would come up with is carpal tunnel syndrome (sp?). So don't fret about switching hands when you're flogging the dolphin (but then again don't beat it too roughly or you never know what kind of mess you'll be left with).

Apparently most mens penis' slant in one direction or the other just like how one of your testicles hangs lower than the other. It could be caused from always resting your penis to the same side in your underwear (by the way I'd switch to boxers, they give your d*ck more breathing room). However it was most likely caused by an injury to your d*ck that you sustained when it was growing. Like taking a football to the nuts or something. And you probably didn't ice it down right away to reduce the injury. Therefore, some scar tissue formed and scar tissue is tighter than normal skin thus pulling your penis slightly in that direction. Catch my drift? (In your case it was probably an injury to the left side of your d*ck that's why it's slanted in that direction. Don't bother trying to recall when, I used to play goalie in hockey and I've been banged in the groin so many times I'm lucky everythings still intact:D).

So ya it's nothing to be worried about, you can get expensive plastic surgery to get rid of the scar tissue but why bother? In the end you might have a straight d*ck but lost a lot of feeling from the damaged nerves in your penis post-surgery. If it bends out at more than a 45° angle, then ya go see a urologist but otherwise relax and next time someone kicks you in the nuts, punch them then go ice your c*ck!

BTW I wouldn't mind reading that "Penile Health" document Boricua :D
 

Boricua_33015

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If I knew how to attatch the file on here I would.

I got it from this site. Im sure of it. I think I did, if not then it was another Don Juan site about picking up chicks but Im pretty sure it was here.
 
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whats the link to your penile health post?
 

Boricua_33015

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if you want I can send it to whoever wants it on AIM.

My AIM name is xX Tha 0ne Xx
 

Raven125

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It's from whacking it off... lol i bet ur a lefty...

See i have to use both hands with this giant, so it stays straight :).
 

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Boricua_33015

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actually no I am a righty.

Just one day I made a discovery that my left hand just makes it feel better while my right hand is better for quickies.
 

Microphone Fiend

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Originally posted by Boricua_33015
actually no I am a righty.

Just one day I made a discovery that my left hand just makes it feel better while my right hand is better for quickies.
if there was every a reason to create an alias username, if just for post like this, lol
 

Boricua_33015

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lol damn man now I feel embarrased....... What if someone I know sees this.....

****, can someone delete this....... damn....... fvck.....lol
 

KmZDon

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nope, you're ****ed. they might even sticky this
 

Boricua_33015

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BUUURNED!!

ROTFLMAOL!! (rolling on the floor laughing my ass off literally)

I think they should too. I just realized how funny this is from another peron's perspective. My cheeks are still tense!

I got too carried away.

I forgot that this is THE WORLD WIDE Web! :eek: :eek: :eek:
 

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