my problems wont go away

[reachinside]

please tell me what im doing wrong guys!

ive tried Nlp -making pics smaller and such for every bad memory i have relating to girls

ive tried EFT - tapping on places with memories

ive tried postive thinking

ive tried state management

ive tried confidence products

ive tried subliminal confidence & fear-killing products

and I STILL cant go up and talk to girls I like! not anywhere school, streets, busses, malls, stores, moon, etc

i get this feeling in the pit of my stomach when a really hot girl comes up

i can recall as far back as 7th grade my 1st crush and really 1st girl i ever liked... i was watching her since the beginning of the year.. then one day in health class we got partnered me her and some wierdo who does stupid things.. so he does something stupid and we look at eachother then laugh at him.. romantic ways. anyway being so young i didnt know what to do and never really persued it... i remember one time again we were partners and we were cutting newspapers and her arm and mine kept rubbing... still didnt even say anything just stood there doing it and enjoying the full hour of class. even now still girls like to bump into me like in school... but i never go any further with them. so i also remember the day i asked her for her msn we sat beside eachother in class but in different desk groups so there was a space between us.. before that she was talking to whoebvr she was sitting beside about shoes and i asked her why are my shoes all creased.. and i remember she says maybe its because your always creasing them up against your desk.. so ok shes watching me, i still dont really do anything.. then one day me her and like 4 of her friends who are also in my class were sitting and hanging out and we started talking about lesbians and shes the hottest one there right, so immature minds that we were we say shes a lesbo and then this one guy says something about dildos under her bed.. and im like yeah dildo and vibrators too.. so everything goes quiet i just killed the joke infront of a group of 6 or so mixed guys/girls.. and i remember she gives me this nasty look then. since then weve never talked and any time i recall that event i get the same pit in my stomach that i still do today when a girl i like comes into my line of sight. it may have also been the start of my social anxiety - i not only dont take risks with meeting and talking to girls but also guys at my school, although i want one for dates the other for just hanging out. either way, there could be many sources for the latter, because i've always sort of been like that. but this is my huge problem, i cant live with this pit anymore. I am so sure i found where it comes forom but now what? I tried EFT on it which is emotional freedom tapping or something like that which just seems wierd but i did it anyway.. no help. I tried NLP concepts of making the movie/pics smaller and so they go away.. no help. Ive tried various ross jeffries and etc products on confidence and approach anxiety and state management etc.. no help. ive tried positive thinking.. no help. The pit is strong! these are some of my earliest memories as I had ADHD when i was younger and my mind seemingly raced too much for me to remember things.

please guys, please guys, i need someone to shed a light of freedom onto me and bust the shackles i cant stand to have anymore!!

i am going to sleep now nand i hope to god and all that is good that there will be something on here for me when i wake up to turn my day from :nervous: :box: :yawn: into a nice :cheer: :rock: :crackup: day

 

[L.A. Tripp]

Man, you're wanting some kind of magic pill. There is none. You just get a GRIP on yourself and move past this. You CAN'T dwell on this stuff. Yet that's what you are doing. Everything you do in life has fear involved. You have to face the fear and overcome it. You will NOT run sets or make friends without ever getting blown out or burned. Face it. It's life. Face your fear and get over it. It WILL take a while because you've lived this way for years. That's something else you need to accept, and allow that time period to change yourself.

 

[Metaphysical]

Man, you're wanting some kind of magic pill. There is none. You just get a GRIP on yourself and move past this. You CAN'T dwell on this stuff. Yet that's what you are doing. Everything you do in life has fear involved. You have to face the fear and overcome it. You will NOT run sets or make friends without ever getting blown out or burned. Face it. It's life. Face your fear and get over it. It WILL take a while because you've lived this way for years. That's something else you need to accept, and allow that time period to change yourself.

exactly.

time to change yourself dude. start working on your self instead of memorizing stupid pick up lines or "openers" as they call it here.

you need to fix out those issues that are bothering you before you will be able to approach women without an issue..

 

[SharinganUser]

Dude, You are trying to fix a problem and by doing so, you are acknowledging that you actually have a problem to fix!

Honestly there is nothing really wrong with you. I've been to some pretty poor places around the world and honestly if I had to choose between not getting a date and not getting food on the table, I'd pick not getting a date every time. Because at the end of the day, that is not really a problem at all.

Here is something to think about. Sit yourself down and seriously ask yourself how you would behave if you were doing everything you wanted to do in life. Then once you find that answer, just start behaving like that. You want to be a musician, you have to play an instrument everyday. If you want to be an athlete, you have to exercise everyday. Given that, your actual level of competence is irrelevant as long as you continue to strive for what you want.

 

[Infamous_Wolf]

There is a guest speaker of David D's that I would like to reference here, his name is Sean. He talks about a concept of "getting off your but" and that is spelled with one T on purpose. Basically, it boils down to the fact that you need to stop making all of these excuses for yourself. Every time you start to think to yourself "I wanna do XXXX, but.." you need to immediately stop. recognize that you are making an excuse for yourself, then dsicard the excuse and *TAKE ACTION*. Example: The pit you feel in your stomach. that is your but. You feel that sinking feeling in your stomach, and you're making an excuse out of it. Now here is something you really need to grind in you head. YOUR FEELINGS DO NOT CONTROL YOUR ACTIONS. Cowards feel fear, and run from it. Brave men feel the same fear, but stand steadfast. It is okay to be afraid, but it is not okay to let your fears govern your life. that's how the stock market crash happened. are you gonna let the stock market crash happen to you?

 

[L.A. Tripp]

Oh, GOOD POINT with the stock market analogy. I like that one

 

[reachinside]

thank you all for your tips.. i tried today to get into a good state as nlp has taught me, and seemingly i could do that right. i was feeling better about everything and something profound happened, i started noticing more.. most importantly were 2 realizations i had.. that it wasnt my thoughts that changed my feelings, it was the opposite. like clockwork when i felt better the content and perspective of my thoughts shifted just like that. so there i was feeling good on the bus and i can think of 4 really attractive girls that i saw on my way home - 3 of which went to my school! and then 1 which got off on the same stop as me and went the opposite way... anyway what i noticed was even after cultivating my state, i was not invincible! but something very magnificent happened, i noticed what was going on in my body. and so i would look at these girls and just think wow theyre so hot.. so theres the separated admiring. opposite to that, and where i found there is a problem, is in two similar in nature points.. that is, when i have some kind of chance to interact. when we are near in proximity, or when i am looking at her and she looks at me, its like i shut down. the feeling goes away and is now replaced with utter nothingness at the best, or the pit in my stomach at the worst, and my mind stops thinking. it goes 100% blank and i cant even focus until i look away and shift my attention

i think this is where i am going wrong, but it seems to be a paradox to me. how can i start to think up again and more importantly in a productive way that is congruent with what i want?

 

[pua1989]

dude ur over thinking it. here are 2 words that will help you not only with girls but with ur entire life.

F U C K IT. When you see a hot *****, SAY THOSE 2 WORDS and do it! When you wanna hit a fat jump on your dirtbike, SAY THOSE 2 WORDS and do it! When you wanna get ****ed up the night before an exam, SAY THOSE 2 WORDS and do it! You are going nowhere! Im telling you, next time you see a hotgirl just say those words and go. I dont use the 3 second rule, no I use the instantaneous rule. As soon as I see a girl i like i turn my bike around and go talk to her, and i get her number. every time

 

[Demon Wolf]

You can't change the past. Learn from it, DO NOT DWELL ON IT! I have PTSD from **** that was way worse. You can only influence your future, move towards what you want, don't obsess over some chick rejecting you because you made a bad joke.