My particular situation

[Music_Warrior]

Hey guys, I'm new here but I've been learning some great stuff, I'm a recovering AFC, proud to say it.

So here's the situation I'm in. There's this girl at work who I've known since high school, but up until now I hated her for *****ing me out about problems I was having with my GF at the time. Now we work at the same place and she's actually a pretty nice person, we've kinda smoothed over that part of our history.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, she told me that her boyfriend, who has a drug problem (she wouldn't go very far into that) broke up with her, and me, being AFC at the time, talked with her for a while, then came right out and told her I liked her, which is a first for me, although from what I read here, probably wasn't a good idea.

Unfortunately, she's hooked on this loser of hers, he treats her like crap on a daily basis, and I've been playing this waiting game. I haven't really mentioned anything about her relationship to her since that night, and we've just been talking to each other on a friendly/professional basis. We go to college together too, and we've been discussing me giving her guitar lessons (nothing solid yet).

I know what some of you are thinking... NEXT! But I don't go after many girls, that's just not in my programming, the ones I go after have some special worth to me, and I can't just kick her to the curb.

But basically, I've kept my distance by remaining busy at work, talked to her only when I need to (she always starts our conversations, which is again, a first). And I'm just waiting for another day where she whines about Mr. Wonderful again so more smoothly than last time, I can let her know she's wasting her time with him.

Any input or advice on the situation? I personally think I'm handling it well, but I can use improvement, I'm sure, or at least some tips on making things move.

 

[Hound_of_Love]

If you really MUST walk this path then you're going to have to make yourself come across as incredibly high value - so high that she forgets about this other guy. Even then, she sees value in a guy who has major problems, so, what you and I view as value, may not be the same to her.

Personally my gut feeling is that she's not going to forget this guy in a hurry and he's likely to screw up your relationship eventually (if you have one).

Either way, increasing your own value (get fit, move up the social/work ladders etc etc) can't hurt and may lead to better offers...

 

[Lost In Translation]

Music_Warrior
Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, she told me that her boyfriend, who has a drug problem

she probably takes drugs too bro

Music_Warrior
talked with her for a while, then came right out and told her I liked her

*sigh*

Music_Warrior
Unfortunately, she's hooked on this loser of hers, he treats her like crap on a daily basis

treat them mean keep them keen

Music_Warrior
I've been playing this waiting game

i saw an episode of the simpsons once where Homer was the Mr Snow Plow

anways he puts an ad on tv for his business and sits by the phone

and says " now it's time to play the waiting game "

2. 3. 4. 5 seconds pass then Homer says " i'm tired of playing the waiting game , lets play Hungry Hungry Hippo "

you are going to be waiting a long time

Music_Warrior
and we've been discussing me giving her guitar lessons

damn man you gunna start giving her driving lessons too ?

maybe GIVE her some more stuff ?

what the ?

Music_Warrior
the ones I go after have some special worth to me

LOL like a rose in the desert or a diamond in the rough

Music_Warrior
And I'm just waiting for another day where she whines about Mr. Wonderful again so more smoothly than last time, I can let her know she's wasting her time with him.

you don't let the cry on your shoulder about how mean their boyfriend is and how he f*cks them so hard it hurts

don't be this womans EMOTIONAL TAMPON

Music_Warrior
I personally think I'm handling it well

you have made every mistake in the book but you get points for trying

Music_Warrior
Any input or advice on the situation?

alright i am going to be real with and i am not going to sugar coat it

a person with a drug problem and hard drug problem is a JUNKIE

and i come from the streets and i am telling you that for every 100 men that are junkies out of the 100 girlfriends maybe 2 would be straight

now those are real cold hard facts

so theres a 98% chance she does drugs with him

do you want a JUNKIE B*TCH ?

you can do alot better that that think about it


telling her she can do better ?

when she has a fight and trys some $hit

her JUNKIE boyfriend pulls out a knife from the kitchen drawer and says " I'M GUNNA KILL YOU "

i have had JUNKIES pull knives on me and i am hard but even i get worried

DRUGS MAKE THEM CRAZY

crazy enough to really stab you lol


so anyways the b*tch is about to go under the blade

she needs an exit

" SORRY BABY BUT MIKE AT WORK SAID IT "

junkie with knife out of jail on bail for assault " WHAT ? "

chick you like : " YEAH BABY MIKE SAID I SHOULDN'T PUT UP WITH YOU DOING DRUGS "

junkie : " i'm gunna wait outside work tomorrow and you point mike out to me or i'll kill you "


You wanna be on the news Music_Warrior ?


This b*tch is trouble keep away from her and stop dissing her boyfriend to her


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[Music_Warrior]

To clarify, I don't think she's a junkie, I don't think she'd be complaining about him being a junkie if she's one too. Plus I've known her a bit too long, she just ain't like that.

Her relationship with this guy has lasted ten months and they've been disputing this crap since June. I also forgot to mention that this guy has a little kid as well, just the ultimate indicator that yeah, this guy has no f*ckin' idea what to do with his life. She keeps saying he wants to get better and he will, but he's in a situation that makes him do it (yeah..... right.)

It sounds to me like she's living on the river in Egypt, big time.

As for the guitar lessons and all that, those were plans made before I even started liking this girl, and as I said, I really don't talk to her anymore unless I need to or she starts talking to me, and 9 times out of 10 she's not talking to me about her current relationship, even though she sucks at hiding her emotions a lot of the time, so I know what's going on with her.

As for the knife, hell, bring it on, I always carry a box cutter, let's see who's faster. I seriously doubt he'll go that far, not with a kid in his house and the fact that HE was the one who told her to take a hike to begin with. She just keeps coming back, hoping things will smooth out.

 

[OneArmDeeJay]

Originally posted by Music_Warrior
To clarify, I don't think she's a junkie, I don't think she'd be complaining about him being a junkie if she's one too. Plus I've known her a bit too long, she just ain't like that.

"I don't think" is unacceptable. It's either you know or you don't know. You do not know. Nor do you really know her.

As for the guitar lessons and all that, those were plans made before I even started liking this girl, and as I said, I really don't talk to her anymore unless I need to or she starts talking to me, and 9 times out of 10 she's not talking to me about her current relationship, even though she sucks at hiding her emotions a lot of the time, so I know what's going on with her.

A lot of people don't talk about their relationships with other people cause maybe just maybe it’s none of their business. Not to mention the fact that your workmates and she’s trying to keep things professional.

But you seem to keep asking and digging cause you care, and why you are caring I don't know. You’re not her man but yet you try to act like it. Please for your sake, Stop, Get over it, and Get out while you still can before you get into something you really don't want to.

Don't date women with more issues then you or you can't handle.

Why stick your pen in company ink? Just causes more problems.

And last, Stop what you are doing, re-read Lost in Translation post, then re read it again, and then apply it. He knows what he's talking about.