BG the HB Tamer
Don Juan
This is something I do with basically everyone I know. At some point when the conversation goes silent... I theatrically trail off, get dreamy eyes and make a DEEP sigh, which can not be ignored.
HB: What's up?
BG: Oh what? Uhm.. No it's nothing.. it's kinda weird... I don't think I can trust you..
HB: You can trust me!! (you could play with this)
BG: Well, okay.
BG: I wish... I just wish I owned a midget.
HB: *shocked/freaked out look*
BG: No, for real! It would be so much fun! We could have all kinds of adventures.. I'd take him everywhere. He'd be my little mini-me. I'd be so happy!
HB: hahaha... okayyyyyyy......
Then you can take it into three directions.
Direction 1
BG: As a matter of fact... I would really love to be a midget! I'd be so ****ing cool! One time I saw a midget.. and he was dressed just like Indiana Jones.. Long (or should I say short? ;-)) brown coat, brown hat... The only thing he was missing was a whip... I WANT THAT!! Not the whip ;-) You know what I'm talking about. I'd be the coolest guy in town!
Direction 2
Just talk about what you would use a midget for; for instance as a spare table or something like that.
For inspiration, check out Benefit's rap song: "If I Owned A Midget" (it's also called "Midget Song")
Direction 3
One time, I saw this thing on Jerry Springer.. there was this midget Ku Klus Klan! They were wearing the KKK atire, but they were dressed in black, not white. And the suits were a bit smaller than the normal KKK suits.. I guess they can split their sheets with their midget-KKK-buddies. And they were also carrying a rope with a slipknot in it! And guess what... The girlfriend (who was tall) of one of the KKK guys, was leaving him.... FOR A BLACK GUY! So the little men all got angry and wanted to fight! You should've seen that guy Steve, he was laughing so hard while he was keeping everyone seperated. It was SO funny! Especially with the pointy KKK headwear!! And they were cursing and **** and at some point they got angry and directed their anger not only at non-white people, but at ALL tall people... "White midget power" they yelled!!
(This is a real Jerry Springer episode, aired in 2000 - it's called "Tales of the Midget Klan" if you have it digitally: PLEASE SEND IT!!!)
From here you can make a transition to sex talk... like "do you think if a midget is in a relationship with a tall person... the midget is dominant in the bedroom?"
Have fun!
(And make up your own goddamn routines ;-))
HB: What's up?
BG: Oh what? Uhm.. No it's nothing.. it's kinda weird... I don't think I can trust you..
HB: You can trust me!! (you could play with this)
BG: Well, okay.
BG: I wish... I just wish I owned a midget.
HB: *shocked/freaked out look*
BG: No, for real! It would be so much fun! We could have all kinds of adventures.. I'd take him everywhere. He'd be my little mini-me. I'd be so happy!
HB: hahaha... okayyyyyyy......
Then you can take it into three directions.
Direction 1
BG: As a matter of fact... I would really love to be a midget! I'd be so ****ing cool! One time I saw a midget.. and he was dressed just like Indiana Jones.. Long (or should I say short? ;-)) brown coat, brown hat... The only thing he was missing was a whip... I WANT THAT!! Not the whip ;-) You know what I'm talking about. I'd be the coolest guy in town!
Direction 2
Just talk about what you would use a midget for; for instance as a spare table or something like that.
For inspiration, check out Benefit's rap song: "If I Owned A Midget" (it's also called "Midget Song")
Direction 3
One time, I saw this thing on Jerry Springer.. there was this midget Ku Klus Klan! They were wearing the KKK atire, but they were dressed in black, not white. And the suits were a bit smaller than the normal KKK suits.. I guess they can split their sheets with their midget-KKK-buddies. And they were also carrying a rope with a slipknot in it! And guess what... The girlfriend (who was tall) of one of the KKK guys, was leaving him.... FOR A BLACK GUY! So the little men all got angry and wanted to fight! You should've seen that guy Steve, he was laughing so hard while he was keeping everyone seperated. It was SO funny! Especially with the pointy KKK headwear!! And they were cursing and **** and at some point they got angry and directed their anger not only at non-white people, but at ALL tall people... "White midget power" they yelled!!
(This is a real Jerry Springer episode, aired in 2000 - it's called "Tales of the Midget Klan" if you have it digitally: PLEASE SEND IT!!!)
From here you can make a transition to sex talk... like "do you think if a midget is in a relationship with a tall person... the midget is dominant in the bedroom?"
Have fun!
(And make up your own goddamn routines ;-))