My Goal: turn acquaintances into friends; build my network.

[itishe]

Hey there folks,

I'm generally pretty satisfied with life, but I've begun to notice that I don't have alot of friends. I know tons of people and we'll talk here and there, but these arn't people I plan things with or just call out of the blue to see what's up. Thing is, I want more of those types of people.

Seems like now days all my friends and even my girlfriend have a core group of 5-10 close friends and about 10 others they still hang out with, where as I seem to only have 3-5 close friends and practically no one else I generally just chill with. It's a bit depressing. Every night it seems like they're hanging out with different people and doing different things, I want that!

Lately it seems like my core group of friends is always working, doing other things, tired, etc. which always seems to leave me struggeling to find a companion to do things.

For instance today I wanted to go out of town to return some things I bought and do some shopping. I called a few friends up, one didn't want to go, one is working, and the other isn't home. Even my sister is too busy to come with, so it looks like it will have to wait another day. I could go by myself, but then when I tell people what I did today going out of town by yourself makes me seem like a hermit.

I go to parties, try to be kind with everyone, try to talk to everyone despite what click they are in, and so forth. I try my best to be as warm and sociable but it seems to get me no where.

I just want to make it so I'm not at the mercy of others when it comes to planning my day. Any advice on increasing my social circle?

 

[itishe]

Should I start calling people I never call and asking them if they want to hang out? I have a few numbers laying around, I just never get around to calling them because it seems like whenever I do they're always busy.

 

[BluEyes]

Good idea m8.

I'm just starting to do that now with people i haven't hung out with all summer.

To do it effectively, start big and end small. Don't understand? Plan group things, and parties(if possible), and activities with more than 3 people. THere's some logic behind this, and its working for me...If it's only you and, lets call them a stranger...then the focus is all on you, and things are usually pretty static and uncomfortable. Also, calling a single person up who you don't know(guy or girl) STINKS of hidden agenda, even if there isn't one.

Essentially:

1. Keep the groups large at first.
2. Call people individually(or in a smaller group) after that.
3. Make it interesting, don't be a bore.
4. Start short(ie dont plan all day things, mabye just get a group and go for a coffee somewhere)
5. After hanging out with people in groups, tighten it abit with people who you think are interesting, and hang out with them individually or in a smaller group.
6. Success

Thats the formula I'm using, and people that I haven't talked to in awhile are saying things like: " wow you're a fun guy, how come I haven't seen you around or anything??", etc. (By the way, if you get that from a chick, thats mad IOI right there, just work with it.)

Hope this helps. Always have a plan, but never stop to think.

 

[Bballer7389]

yea, you should start w/ maybe a lunch w/ no more than say 3 people, get to kno those 3 ppl in depth then branch out from there, the way blueyes said to do is the way I would. hell, I jsut met this bangin 19 yr old through my cousin (C&F'd and everythin, and got her #)