My girlfriend tells me she has never orgasmed. (help)

[hellfire45]

So I am pretty new to the whole sex thing. I am only 21 and I have only had sex twice. The first time (which was about 5 days ago) she didn't believe i was a virgin cause i went for about 15 minutes and still never came.

She tells me that she has never had an orgasm and shes been sexually active for way longer than I have.
I mentioned that after awhile she gets desensitized to the feeling and that it kind of goes "numb". After that, theres no way she'll have an orgasm. I don't really know if that's normal or not. The ****oris doesn't seem that sensitive to her and she likes it really hard, fast and as deep as it can get.

Basically, the question is...i want to make her have an orgasm but she seems like a REALLY tuff case. Is there any kind of super don juan secret to making women orgasm? I mean I don't know much and basically I am looking for tips here. Any advice?

 

[\O/]

Talk to her. Does she never orgasm or is it just during sex? If it's just during sex, then it should be easy to achive. You have to communicate with her and let her show you how to make her c*m. If she can't get one on her own either, then she has to figure that out for herself first. There are millions of articles on how to reach an orgasm for women..

 

[hellfire45]

yea i guess there probably are a million articles on it.

She told me that she can do it with a dildo or whatever but has never allowed herself cause she wanted the first one to be with a person.

 

[hellfire45]

mctwist i appreciate the advice but im not sure i really understand the instructions you just gave.

 

[Hitman10000]

It's not your responsibility to help a woman orgasm.

In the olden days, when a man has to go hunting or defend his village from asswipes he isn't concerned about PLEASURING the girl. He probably does it so he can get that pleasure too! He isn't concerned whether she is getting enough GIFTS. The only thing he is concerned with is HER CONCERN THAT YOU ARE BEING A MAN. In the olden days, WOMEN did a lot of work believe it or not... They tended to farms, did a lot of physical labor as well as raise children. Men did a lot of work too but because they were genetically stronger they were the ones to defend their women/children.

 

[\O/]

You know there are 2 different types of orgasms right? vaginal orgasm and ****oral orgasm. Most girls only ever manage to get the ****oral orgasm, so try that first. Give her a good run with your mouth on the ****. Help with you hands and make sure not to start/stop. Look at it as climbing a latter. Whenever you stop, you fall down and have to start from scratch. Experiment with tempo/pressure and ask her how she wants it. Make sure the **** is wet/moist the whole time. If not, it might be oversensitive and not willing to play ball..

 

[\O/]

It's not your responsibility to help a woman orgasm.

In the olden days, when a man has to go hunting or defend his village from asswipes he isn't concerned about PLEASURING the girl. He probably does it so he can get that pleasure too!

Still, nothing wrong with being able to make her c*m fast so that you can get that BJ you've been wanting the whole day

Also, if you care about the girl, it's good to know she's enjoying herself aswell. If I'm not in a relationship with the girl though, i couldn't care less if she c*ms. I might give it a quick attempt for appearences, but as long as I'm satisfied she can fake it for all I care...

 

[hellfire45]

Well, I do care about her so I'd like to break through that barrier.

 

[Muzzlehatch]

Hi there,
Good for you in your attitude, shows real honesty. In my opinion, your girlfriend does need to make herself come more often, because she'll become more familiar with the sensation and more familiar with what makes her come. Then she can better tell you. Women are so individual in this respect, but as stickman says there are millions of sex books and articles that will explain it better than you'll get on here.
Hitman does have a point though. I think sex is essentially a selfish thing, for both partners. If my woman is not doing something I like, I get her to do something I do like. I expect her to do the same, and she is responsible for her own pleasure. If I'm rubbish tell me and I'll do it better.
Finally, it takes a lot of women years to come through intercourse or any other way, I wouldn't beat yourself up if it doesn't happen straight away, no matter what some of the blokes on here say about being love gods. Liars. Hey, maybe I'm just a lousy lover! Damn, never thought of that.

 

[Natch]

Ana1.
It'll make her cream like a porn star and if not, hey , youre getting ana1!

 

[KillaCam]

It's not your responsibility to help a woman orgasm.

In the olden days, when a man has to go hunting or defend his village from asswipes he isn't concerned about PLEASURING the girl. He probably does it so he can get that pleasure too! He isn't concerned whether she is getting enough GIFTS. The only thing he is concerned with is HER CONCERN THAT YOU ARE BEING A MAN. In the olden days, WOMEN did a lot of work believe it or not... They tended to farms, did a lot of physical labor as well as raise children. Men did a lot of work too but because they were genetically stronger they were the ones to defend their women/children.

Keyword : Olden days.

Now? 21st century.

Sex is somewhat of a selfish act, but, it's fine to gain pleasure from knowing you can get someone off, rather than just yourself.

2 way street for the ultimate experience.

 

[DarkLight]

Alright... dig it!

First off, I commend your honesty. Good spirit, good strength.
Second... a ton of chicks have never had an "orgasm."
Third... I'm gonna tell you whats up!

I've picked the lock of a few never in my life orgasm girls. Comes down to 2 factors... physical technique, and emotional connection.

First... try this position. Her sitting on your lap, and leaning back. Maybe you sitting on the couch, and she's straddling you leaning back. You can prop your legs up to, by holding them up from your toes. Just get the angle. Your lookin for that G-Spot stimulation. Let her go to town... develop her own rythms, and just be there for her in your spirit, confidence, and wild untamed passion. Let it be "OK" for her to go fvcking wild, and ***.

Which brings me to the emotional connection factor. First in yourself... you have to know that you can bring her to orgasm. When that happens... she'll sense your knowing and... go there. She'll know that its "OK" for her to be comftorable enough to go into herself, into her wild passionate feelings of pleasure. Deep enough, wild enough, and safe enough... to just go there. That has to be your vibe. You have to want her to "orgasm" and ***, even more than she does. That vibe will totally infect her... and allow her to do what it takes TO orgasm.

I'm betting a lot of guys focus too much on one or the other. Physical or Emotional. And thats why they never unlock a chick. The art is both. You have to play her on whatever level she needs to cvm. Be there for her. Whether it be a pounding, slow deep emotional thrusts, or just the space of acceptance in which she's allowed to touch her core of wild insane bliss. Ya dig!?

You said your worried about her becoming de-sensitized to the feeling. Cool, then take it slow. Slow steady fvcking from the get-go, drives chicks wild. Cause the friction doesn't kill sensation. So you build that good slow fvcking into faster rythms... all the while listening to her. Seeing where she's at. Try to keep the rythms, position, angle she's really feeling... and go into that. Build that rythm into something higher, faster, harder... and just guide her there. If it comes to you pounding the sh!t of her... by all means... hammer it. But have the goal in mind... pound her beyond her control, into the endzone of orgasm.

I'm sure mentally, you might be feeling a little "iffy" about really going wild/insane with sex. Being that your fresh new to the sport. But no worries... I'm sure you also realized, that your body already knows this sport. You can be a fvckin master if you just let yourself. Obviously there is gonna be a world of techniques, positions, etc... that you'll learn becoming a more experienced lover. But don't let that hold back your gusto. Be a confident, deeply sensual, emotionally connected and giving, whirlwind passionate mo-fo.

Think of it like this. Let your every action, be a brush stroke on her... for the purposes of making her ***. Be a sexual locksmith of unlimited resources. lol

And to whoever the fvck went into "why care about making her ***." Trippin. Thats the best way to fvck. You pound your girl out right, bringing her to places of pleasure within herself that no other man has been able to do. Trust me... your gonna feel better than her. Not to mention... the rewards of being the motherfvckin man, that unlocked that *****... are far worth it. So if I have to sell, with that selfish angle... Cool. But by all means... let that be your aim.

Spiritual Connection.
Mental Connection.
Emotional Connection.
Physical Connection.

Become her tantric GOD, and own that pvssy every step of the way.

Literally when I'm fvcking, my mind is leading her in a goddamn orchestra of ecstasy. Show her the planets of another solar system, with your mind, travelling in the vehicle of your d!ck pounding her pvssy. (but remember... if she wants to guide herself to orgams w. your c0ck... COOL! By all means... LET her. You enjoy the ride).

Peace'

 

[bigneil]

Welcome to the club. Most girls don't orgasm that easily.

The first thing to tell her is, the reason she has a hard time is only because she is (genetically speaking) harder to get. That is, studies show that women who have a harder time achieving orgasm are ultimately being more selective about who they reproduce with, because having an orgasm increases her odds of being fertilized.

Second, realize that no 2 girls are exactly alike in that area. Some have a ****oris that is mostly on the outside, so they prefer oral sex and may never climax during penetration. Other girls are the opposite, having a more internal ****oral nerve ending and thus enjoying penetration while not enjoying oral sex as much if at all. You never know.

 

[diablo]

Moved to AE...

 

[Oldboy]

There's a lot of great advice here, and DarkLight's piece is a classic. There's just one more piece of advice I'll add here:

Relax. Have fun. Enjoy the sex. And don't stress about her orgasm.

I don't mean don't worry about her pleasure - exactly the opposite, in fact.

I've dated girls who were multiorgasmic, and others for whom it was very, very difficult (let me tell you a story sometime about a vibrator, three pillows, and the reverse cowboy). One old friend of mine has never had an orgasm. BUT... she sure likes sex!

So what's in it for her, if not the orgasm? Well, the excitement, the fun, the intimacy, the pleasure, the ability to give pleasure to you - and feeling like a woman.

If you worry too much about her current inability to orgasm, and take it as a failure every time you have sex and she doesn't come, she's going to feel like exactly that - a failure as a woman. She already probably has a complex about it, and feels incomplete. And it won't be long before it stops being fun, exciting, etc. for her because of it. The thrill will be gone. And it could turn the whole relationship sour for her.

I'm not saying don't keep trying to make her orgasm - but NOT EVERY TIME. Let her know that you enjoy the sex you're having. Keep it fun. Get her relaxed and in the moment with you. And if that happens, she might very well just find herself feeling a little shudder one of those nights, then a flush, and then...

On the other hand, if she's the experimental type, then you could approach it like a fun project you're doing together. Go to town. Try everything! But keep the mood light - not some grim & earnest mission, but more of a shared adventure.

But above all, make her feel like a hot, sexy, COMPLETE woman. That's what she wants.

And in the meantime, you'll be getting laid like yesterday's newspaper in a birdcage.

 

[Adone]

Your case sounds exactly like mine. I usually manage to get girls to orgasm in as fast as 5 minutes, with the help of my tongue. Yet, I managed to get my girlfriend to orgasm only one IN ALMOST TWO YEARS.
She says that when I lick her ****, it's pleasuring for the first couple of minutes, but then it just tickles her, so I have to stop.

Yet, she told me that even when she masturbates, she never gets to orgasm, it happened to her only once while alone, using hot water and rubbing herself down there... Try hot water with your girlfriend, maybe it works for her too