My girlfriend is more interested in this other guy...

[Cogent Ops.]

I think I know the answer to this question but I want opinions.

I had a party tonight and my girlfriend of 4 weeks came and we chilled and I was getting really close to her and talking real smooth and doing everything right...

and then we are in the billiards room with all these other people and I came a little bit after she went in and sat down, and she was sitting next to this guy who is a ****ing burnout loser but for some reason the girls adore him. She was close as **** to him. She was sitting closer to him than she has ever sat to me. She had room on her other side, but she obvoiously chose to sit with her body against his. I sat down and she didnt walk over and sit with me, she just stayed with him. I am pretty drunk, so maybe my judgement is ****ed, but im pissed.

So I want advice. Next her?

 

[Sammo]

This is a personal decision.

I would **** her off straight away, you are a DJ and you can get better girls if you wanted to, she is lucky to even have a CHANCE with you.

 

[Cogent Ops.]

Ok so heres the deal now.

2nd week after we started talking she came over and stayed late and we made out a bit, and the next night i tried to pull her to another room for some action and she said "she didnt want to rush into things."

So I have really been digging this girl, but that might be just because she is the first girlfriend I had in like 2 years. I still haven't gone on a real date with this girl. I have tried, but she does gymnastics 25 hours a week and she doesn't have much free time with that and homework, or so she says. The only times I have seen her are at parties on weekends and at school, which is bugging the hell out of me.

I know I could get a better girl than her too. It is just a matter of trying for me, and I think I am ready and willing to try at this point (though I was trying for a year to get to that point and i kept failing.)

So anyways I have been seeing this girl for like a ****ing month and still have only made out with her once. I was really expecting some action tonight but she didnt give ****. I just started kinoing her alot tonight and she just doesnt respond to it. This is my girlfriend and she still doesnt respond when I put my arm around her. She never puts her arm around me or moves closer to me. She acts like my arm isnt even around her or occasionally she just walks away and moves to her friend.

Tonight she was leaving with some friends and her friend said goodbye while my girlfriend was just walking to the car, and I said "Hey are you leaving? Come say bye to me!" and at this point she was almost at the car and she turned around and hugged me and said bye and I tried to kiss her, and she did kiss me, but then I tried to turn it french, and about 1 second after I parted her lips with my tounge she pulled away and said bye and left. She WAS drunk, but I dont know if that is good enough for me.

And then there is that part of me that wants to give her another chance. Honestly, Im thinking "**** man, you haven't even seen her bare tits yet. Stick around awhile."

I know I will probably feel like staying with her when I wake up sober in the morning, but at this point I am pissed, drunk, and ready to move on.

I dont know....

 

[Stolichnaya]

Be the pimp that you are and slap that *****. Show her who her Daddy is. Make her yell it. It's not rape unless you get caught. Just ask Kobe Bryant!

 

[cant think of a user name]

Sounds to me like she doesnt give a s--- about you, and is using you. Think about it man:

- she doenst initiate kino
- she doesnt want to kiss you
- she presses herself against some other dude and forgets about you
- she wasnt even going to say bye to you!

what kind of girlfriend is that?

NEXT!

----------------
EDIT: you even said you can get better girls than her, so what are you waiting for?

 

[Jester]

stop looking for others to tell you what to do so you can be safe.

you know what you should do.

stop asking and do it.

 

[Unregistered]

You've never gone on a date with her and made out with her only once? Are you certain that she is your girlfriend????

 

[Cogent Ops.]

Jester- As always, yor advice was golden. Short, simple, harsh, and true.

Unregistered- Actually, I am quite certain that she is not my girlfriend.

I figured out that the whole reason for her lack of interest in my that night was because I thought she was my girlfriend.

You see, on this site it says NEVER to ask a girl to make it official. This presents a bit of a problem for me because 95% of my friends and aquantances lack a sex life, so they are intensely interested in everybody else's. These people constantly gossip about whos with who (guys even more than girls do this) and they come up and ask me questions about it. So at my party, near the beginning, somebody asked if we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend, and I said yes. From the way our relationship was going I thought that this was obvious and didn't need to be affirmed. I was wrong.

I have never been on a real date with her, but we see each other every weekend at parties and we hang out and it seems alot like a date. Also I talk to her alot at school. It isn't like we have just talked a few times and I suddenly decided she was my girlfriend.

So the reason she was so distant at the party was actually because she was like afraid of me after I said we were official without ever asking her. GRR. What I SHOULD have done when somebody asked is turn to her and say "I don't know... are we?"

In retrospect, she wasn't really THAT close to the guy. My drunk ass exaggurated it. She wasnt actually touching him, just sitting close to him. The reason it pissed me off is that I have heard her say that she thought the guy was hot before, so I got all jealous and defensive like a little AFC.

So now I don't even know what I want to do. I'm not going to **** up my relationship with her because I already asked her to homecoming, and she bought a dress & ****. Also, I realize that I was the one who did something wrong, and I don't think I should end the relationship because I ****ed up, and she said doesn't want to end it either. We talked about all this and she said she likes me but she isn't ready to be my official girlfriend. She said "maybe in a few weeks or something." I don't care if its "official" or not. Its the same thing either way.

Wow I just understood some advice matrix gave me awhile ago on AIM. I asked what I should tell people when they ask about whether or not we were official, and he said I should ask them "Does it matter?" I thought of that as just being an *******, but now I see that it really doesn't matter whether or not it's official, its just a guy and a girl in a relationship nomatter what you call it.

I keep learning from my mistakes the hard way.

 

[E-Z Rider]

Sounds to me like you've been a bit too needy.

Never tell anyone you're commited to each other unless she tells you first. Unless she asks you to be exclusive, you are still technically single. You're just dating.

It seems like you're trying too hard to get approval from this girl. I'd say back off a bit, definetly start talking to other girls as well, and a combination of you pulling away some and flirting with other girls will bring her to you if her interest level is good.

On your next date, try not being as physical. Don't keep on trying to hug her or kiss her. Let her initiate those things, and when she does, keep them brief. The key is to act totally happy, confident, and in charge the whole time. It is easy to appear upset when you're trying to pull back from the girl, the key is to not appear that way.

And if all that fails, you should have other prospects from the girls you've been talking to. Win-win, my man. Good luck- E-Z