My GF's Ex Seems to be Approaching Her Again..

[Fela Kuti]

At first, I didn't worry a bit when she told me that her ex was asking her to eat out. I told her to go ahead, since it's not wrong to be friends with the ex isn't it? Well, since then, it seems that the ex is more and more frequent in approaching her. Like asking her out, making a phone call, visiting her house, etc. Now, I begin to feel uneasy here. It's not about my GF. I 99% believe that she won't cheat. But it's the ex. I smell that he might be up to something. What should I do? Should I tell her to stay away from him? But I think I better hold it until my suspicion is proved.

Thanks, guys.

 

[I-tallionStallion]

Have you met this guy? Never believe your GF won't cheat on you NEVER BELIEVE THAT...i thought that way, man was i fvcking wrong. I perfect relationship of 2 1/2 years down the drain...with no real explanation, while now she is currently desperately trying to get back with me.

Meet the guy, you are the Bf, or tell her enough is enough, women like a slightly jealous guy...it shows you care about them.

DO NOT LET HER WALK ALL OVER YOU. If she cares about you, she will not let you feel like this. I've seen this happen too many times and 9/10 the guy gets broken up with. If she is walking all over you, i am afraid to say her interst level in you is very low...which will cause a breakup eventually.

If you do think he is up to something - i am 99% sure your GF would know. Women can see right through men (Not DJ's of course Some women are attention *****s and you have to set them straight.

And if she puts up an bs defense when you ask her, break up with her. Not many women get broken up with, this will put her in shock and could possibly put her back in your arms much more devotedly or lost forever but who really cares, you don't deserve to live like this. You are the man, you make the rules (you allow women to think they can too haha) and you put yourself in a healthy happy relationship of your standards, not hers. There is always a better HB around the corner who will treat you way better.

 

[Fela Kuti]

"Have you met this guy?"

-no, and i'm not planning to.


"If you do think he is up to something - i am 99% sure your GF would know. Women can see right through men (Not DJ's of course Some women are attention *****s and you have to set them straight."

-here lays the problem. she told me that she's really insensitive about a guy's intention. she didn't even know that i liked her until my friends told her! even though i asked her out, kino, etc.! so now she doesn't know if the ex is up to something or not.

 

[PlaysToWin]

Yes, you should ask her to stay away from him and/or ask him to stay away from her. You should also be prepared to leave if she doesn't comply.

His intentions are almost certainly sinister. And whether she knows it or not, she is leading him on. Ask her to stop.

This whole situation makes you very uncomfortable, and any reasonable gf should know that so when you ask her to distance herself from him, she should respect that.

 

[Fela Kuti]

but she said that there's no chance that he's trying to get back to her since he often talks about this girl he's chasing, but already have a BF..

 

[j0n024]

Why are you defending her? I mean the guy's are giving you advice and you keep on taking the girls side! Listen to what the other guy's are saying, dont trust her if it is making you uneasy tell her to stop talking to the guy if she doesnt comply or act's like a b1tch about it then leave her it's as simple as that! I know you might think losing your girl is bad but do you really want a chick that is going to cheat behind your back? Good luck and please stop defending her if you got a problem about her.

 

[PlaysToWin]

Well she's obviously getting duped by him (women can be so naive about things like this sometimes) or she might know he is interested but she is using the fact he talks about another girl as the easy excuse to make sure you allow her to see him. Either way ex-boyfriends don't suddenly show up and want to be super-friendly and spent loads of time chatting with no ulterior motive. Don't be naive. And don't let her be naive either.

 

[PlaysToWin]

Just to clarify... it's entirely possible that your girl doesn't intend to cheat on you or want anything from her ex. But I am absolutely convinced that this guy has ulterior motives just as I am that him being in her life as he is now will put a strain on your relationship that will eventually break you up if you allow it to continue.

 

[DavenJuan]

Have you met this guy? Never believe your GF won't cheat on you NEVER BELIEVE THAT...i thought that way, man was i fvcking wrong. I perfect relationship of 2 1/2 years down the drain...with no real explanation, while now she is currently desperately trying to get back with me.

Meet the guy, you are the Bf, or tell her enough is enough, women like a slightly jealous guy...it shows you care about them.

DO NOT LET HER WALK ALL OVER YOU. If she cares about you, she will not let you feel like this. I've seen this happen too many times and 9/10 the guy gets broken up with. If she is walking all over you, i am afraid to say her interst level in you is very low...which will cause a breakup eventually.

If you do think he is up to something - i am 99% sure your GF would know. Women can see right through men (Not DJ's of course Some women are attention *****s and you have to set them straight.

And if she puts up an bs defense when you ask her, break up with her. Not many women get broken up with, this will put her in shock and could possibly put her back in your arms much more devotedly or lost forever but who really cares, you don't deserve to live like this. You are the man, you make the rules (you allow women to think they can too haha) and you put yourself in a healthy happy relationship of your standards, not hers. There is always a better HB around the corner who will treat you way better.

my fellow brother...this is a situation that you could have prevented from the beginning. You ask if its wrong for her and her ex to go out to dinner?? Comn' you already knew the answer to this when you platently told her to go ahead.

the ex has been advancing on her wayyy before she asked you about lunch/dinner with the ex. You are giving this ex more and more time to rekindle old flames.

and the fact that he is talking about another girl with your gf doesnt mean squat. If anything, he is trying to get your girl jealous.

before you reply and say " yeah my girl is a good one, she would never cheat" or "this guy has nothing on me" ...ask yourself this.....

WHAT GOOD IS SUPPOSE TO COME FROM THEM HANGING OUT??

 

[Fela Kuti]

Why are you defending her? I mean the guy's are giving you advice and you keep on taking the girls side! Listen to what the other guy's are saying, dont trust her if it is making you uneasy tell her to stop talking to the guy if she doesnt comply or act's like a b1tch about it then leave her it's as simple as that! I know you might think losing your girl is bad but do you really want a chick that is going to cheat behind your back? Good luck and please stop defending her if you got a problem about her.

well, i'm not trying to defend her. i just pointed out that fact because if he's trying to get back to her, why would he talk about his love problems?

 

[Fela Kuti]

WHAT GOOD IS SUPPOSE TO COME FROM THEM HANGING OUT??

well, call me naive but i always try to think positive. maybe he's just trying to befriend her. i don't want to bother my gf's social life, you know.

 

[Moofahsa]

Man you need to wake the hell up.

I'm not a jealous man but females lie.

She can tell you whatever she wants, but she is up to no good as well. You have never spoken with the guy, so how exactly do you know what the guy is saying? He could be banging your chick and women can look you right in the eye and tell you "No"

 

[mrRuckus]

i don't want to bother my gf's social life, you know.

That's womenspeak to shame you into letting them do what they want.

It's wrong for her to do this. A good gf if she knew it was bothering you or you just considered it unacceptable just wouldn't do it. You don't really have to tell her "no" so she doesn't yell at you "don't control me" and does it out of spite as women are wont to do, you just say it's up to you but I disapprove and I wouldn't hang out alone with MY ex since I know you wouldn't like it and leave it at that. No threatening to break up or anything.

Then if she does anyway she's not very considerate and you dump her because it's only around the corner she's going to do it to you.

Read this: www.laddertheory.com

 

[chance]

i'd like to know how she would feel if you were catching up with YOUR ex-gf. i'm sure she'd have a sh!tty at you for that.

 

[DavenJuan]

well, call me naive but i always try to think positive. maybe he's just trying to befriend her. i don't want to bother my gf's social life, you know.

thats not being naive....thats typical AFC talk.

im not trying to bust your balls, but this kind of thinking is why we have this forum.

it is completely irrelevant what her "perception" is of them hanging out. she may not be into this guy at all. hell for that matter he may not be into her at all.

the bottom line is it bothers YOU. THATS THE ONLY SIGNIFICANCE to this thread.

im not going to try to explain to you ALL the reasons why its a horrible idea for your gf and her ex to hang out. you can search 1,000 threads to help answer that question.

what i will tell you is the only thing that matters is how she makes you feel by her actions...right, wrong, or indifferent. if something gets to the point that you question things, then you need to stop it...period.

 

[I-tallionStallion]

Well if what i said did not convince you...enjoy the misery. The best of women can lie right to your face, but ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. Is your girl hot? If yes put yourself as the Ex...would you hang out with your Ex if its going to go nowhere. Do you even know the details of their orginal relationship...why it ended...look at all the facts man. I'm sorry to tell you but just cause you think she would never, and she told you how much she loved you blah blah blah doesn't mean anything. I'm telling you from experience. My friend just recently had the same problem, and as soon as he broke up with her to teach her a lesson...guess who she was with now.

 

[chance]

yeah man, listen to all this advice. if your gf is so in love with you why does she need to hang out with her ex? if she was really deeply in love with you she would straight up say no to the ex for meeting.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Just tell her:

"Hey, I don't mind if you and your ex wanna talk and hang once in awhile. But, I don't really like the idea of you assosiating with him since; you are with me now."

Something along those lines.

 

[ready123]

Have you met this guy? Never believe your GF won't cheat on you NEVER BELIEVE THAT...i thought that way, man was i fvcking wrong. I perfect relationship of 2 1/2 years down the drain...with no real explanation, while now she is currently desperately trying to get back with me.

would you rather you policed her and then she cheats on you 5 years down the road instead?

I'd let her hang out w/ her ex. if she cheats on you w/ him, it lets you know she's not for you. saves you a lot of time and energy trying to put effort into something that wasn't meant to be. you should want a girlfriend that knows how to behave whether or not you're in her shadow, not a girl who can't use her fvckin head so you gotta think for her and tell her what to do

then again, this is just my philosophy on LTR's. sounds like everybody else is different

 

[KontrollerX]

Yeah put a stop to this sh!t as soon as possible and as smoothly as you can.

You never should of allowed it to begin with bro.

Ex's are ex's for a reason they don't need to see eachother at all unless there are kids involved.