My GF loves hulked-out guys & Im not 1

[Zappati]

Well....since I last posted, I did meet a woman & weve been goin out for 2 months now & heres my dilemma...

Her ex-husband was roided out & all of her boyfriends, before me, were all pretty much hulked out.

After a month of us dating, she deleted her myspace & facebook ( cuz she said she was happy w/me) but, before she did, I logged onto her accounts ( sue me..im untrusting), cuz I wanted to see for myself, her private reactions/feelings towards all these guys on her pages.

It was just a never ending barrage of photo comments telling all of them how beautiful their bodies were & what she would like 2 do w/ them etc etc etc etc & I obviously dont look like that, or hence, I wouldnt be writing this & to top it all off, she tries to play it off, like, Im just imagining she typed all of this stuff & those arent the types of guys she likes, yadda yadda yadda. Also, when she tells me that IM exactly what she physically likes, in a man, I remind her of how, all the guys she had on her page that were of my body type, she never left ONE single photo comment to & she always come up w/ some bull**** excuse as to why she didnt.

Now, all of this has caused fights on top of fights, but, in all sincerity, how can you EVER trust or feel comfortable w/ a woman, whom you KNOW is solely attracted to something that your NOT.

 

[Warrior74]

What does your gut tell you?

What is she getting from you that she isn't getting from these roided out guys (especially her ex husband)?

Why did she get divorced?

Why is she your girlfriend and not just a plate?

Take 10 minutes and anwser these questions and you might learn something about yourself and your girlfriend and then you will know what to think about it.

 

[GuanYu]

First of all know that the problem here isn't her, it's you!

Your insecurity has caused a rift in your relationship. Does your girlfriend have 44DD tits, a slim waste with 35+ inch hips/ass? Probably not - hell you may not even be attracted to that kind of shape, but for arguments sake lets say you did. If she didn't possess those things, but she knew you liked that shape and gave you constant grief over it how would you feel? Probably sick of hearing her bi*ch huh?

You're doing the exact same thing. The difference is it's ok for women to feel insecure and want to improve themselves or do things to keep you happy. We as men should have innate confidence and self belief. You showed her you lack that by making a big deal about it. Of course it's also ok for us to always improve ourselves, but it shouldn't be at the expense of your own self benefit. Do it because you want to.

You're the one screwing her now not these other dudes. Why so serious? If you want to get big then do it. Anyone can hit the gym and get big, there's nothing really impressive about it.

So yeah if you're going to keep being jealous about her past instead of focusing on the present and possible future with her then move the hell on before she dumps you instead for your insecurities.

 

[Zappati]

What does your gut tell you?

What is she getting from you that she isn't getting from these roided out guys (especially her ex husband)?

Why did she get divorced?

Why is she your girlfriend and not just a plate?

Take 10 minutes and anwser these questions and you might learn something about yourself and your girlfriend and then you will know what to think about it.

1.My gut tells me, I know Im not what shes attracted to & Im tired of feeling inferior.

2. He drank too much

3.Im not really sure.

 

[Zappati]

First of all know that the problem here isn't her, it's you!

Your insecurity has caused a rift in your relationship. Does your girlfriend have 44DD tits, a slim waste with 35+ inch hips/ass? Probably not - hell you may not even be attracted to that kind of shape, but for arguments sake lets say you did. If she didn't possess those things, but she knew you liked that shape and gave you constant grief over it how would you feel? Probably sick of hearing her bi*ch huh?

You're doing the exact same thing. The difference is it's ok for women to feel insecure and want to improve themselves or do things to keep you happy. We as men should have innate confidence and self belief. You showed her you lack that by making a big deal about it. Of course it's also ok for us to always improve ourselves, but it shouldn't be at the expense of your own self benefit. Do it because you want to.

You're the one screwing her now not these other dudes. Why so serious? If you want to get big then do it. Anyone can hit the gym and get big, there's nothing really impressive about it.

So yeah if you're going to keep being jealous about her past instead of focusing on the present and possible future with her then move the hell on before she dumps you instead for your insecurities.

Actually...& this is no joke...she was a former Penthouse Pet & now models for Fredericks of Hollywood & shes EXACTLY what Im physically attracted to.

Just like the other day....we were waiting to tan @ this salon & this huge hulked out guy came out & I watched her, watch him, walk all the way to his car, out of the corner of her eye. I felt like an absolute fool, cuz she did it right in front of me!!.. & then when I asked her about it, she tells me..." Im just naturally a people watcher." CMON....IM NOT A F****NG IDIOT!!!

How am I NOT supposed to let something like that upset the living hell out of me?

 

[Kerpal]

Start lifting weights. You should have already been doing that anyway

 

[Warrior74]

1.My gut tells me, I know Im not what shes attracted to & Im tired of feeling inferior.

2. He drank too much

3.Im not really sure.

you missed a question.

What is she getting from you that she isn't getting from these roided out guys (especially her ex husband)?

 

[Zappati]

you missed a question.

What is she getting from you that she isn't getting from these roided out guys (especially her ex husband)?

In my honest opinion...Im very easy to get along with & Im financially stable.

 

[Warrior74]

In my honest opinion...Im very easy to get along with & Im financially stable.

When you say easy going, do you consider yourself to be a pushover or do you have a backbone when it comes to her. Do you cater to her whims and/ or does she cater to yours?

What does financial stable cover? Do you buy her things and treat her to gifts? Do you live a lavish lifestyle? How does that benefit her?


The more you know about yourself and your motivations and the more you know about her's the sooner you can put your doubts to rest by moving forward or moving on.

As for working out. Everyone here should be doing that anyway, but trying to be a big roid dude just to keep a chic is lame. Your gonna have to accept she is with your for other reasons and get over it, or let it mess with your head and leave her.

The point of my questions is to see if you are treating this woman as an AFC or as a "DJ". You may have slipped into beta male/afc/supplicating mode and not have noticed. If you have gone AFC its gonna end anyway and badly if she's as hot as you say she is. Keep the Pussay of the Pedestal bro!

 

[nightcrawler]

she's probly using you for your money dude. Screw girls on the side.

 

[Zappati]

All in all....its a good relationship & I know in my heart, shes not using me or anything of the sort, but, its just very unsettling to me, because, I know what she is attracted to & Im just not a body builder...have no desire to be.

Me, personally, just can never feel comfortable knowing that shes physically attracted to a completely different kind of man. I mean seriously...if your sitting together out @ a restaurant/club & theres some hulkamaniac, directly across from you & your woman is checking him out all night, even discreetly....thats just not how its supposed to be. Isnt "love" supposed to be a 2 way street? Shared interests/attraction?

Anyone can say whatever they want about you treating em well, them "loving YOU" & etc etc, but, in the end, sooner or later, she will stray to what it is that shes attracted to. Its only natural.

 

[Maxtro]

How interesting here is a man who is completely insecure in himself even though he has a girlfriend who is a "former Penthouse Pet & now models for Fredericks of Hollywood & shes EXACTLY what Im physically attracted to."

I am not in a position to give any advice but the situation intrigues me.

 

[Kal0051]

Maybe try and hit the gym. Not only will you look better but you'll feel better too. But I think your real problem is your insecurity.

 

[nightcrawler]

All in all....its a good relationship & I know in my heart, shes not using me or anything of the sort, but, its just very unsettling to me, because, I know what she is attracted to & Im just not a body builder...have no desire to be.

Me, personally, just can never feel comfortable knowing that shes physically attracted to a completely different kind of man. I mean seriously...if your sitting together out @ a restaurant/club & theres some hulkamaniac, directly across from you & your woman is checking him out all night, even discreetly....thats just not how its supposed to be. Isnt "love" supposed to be a 2 way street? Shared interests/attraction?

Anyone can say whatever they want about you treating em well, them "loving YOU" & etc etc, but, in the end, sooner or later, she will stray to what it is that shes attracted to. Its only natural.

you're getting played.

 

[Jitterbug]

All in all....its a good relationship & I know in my heart, shes not using me or anything of the sort, but, its just very unsettling to me...

Are you sure it's a good relationship?

To other guys, yes he may sound "insecure" but that's a typical FEMALE SHAMING tactic. His gut is sounding the alarm for a reason. No woman with high interest and truly into a guy would openly admire & praise the bodies of other men, ignore her own man's feelings and squash any protest with the BS "you're just insecure" line. A high IL woman would make her man feel like a king and that includes admiring his body.

Insecurity would be if he's b!tching about this while his GF doesn't check out muscle guys and keeps telling him how sexy his body is. This isn't the case.

It does sound like she's just using Zappati as Mr Rich Boyfriend.

 

[DonJuan11]

-After a month of us dating, she deleted her myspace & facebook ( cuz she said she was happy w/me)
- before she did, I logged onto her accounts ( sue me..im untrusting)

Won't sue you, but if she logged onto your myspace and facebook accounts, you would probably beat her like Chris Brown did Rihanna.

- It was just a never ending barrage of photo comments telling all of them how beautiful their bodies were etc etc
- to top it all off, she tries to play it off, like, Im just imagining she typed all of this stuff & those arent the types of guys she likes, yadda yadda yadda.
- she tells me that IM exactly what she physically likes, in a man,
- I remind her of how, all the guys she had on her page that were of my body type, she never left ONE single photo comment
- she always come up w/ some bull**** excuse as to why she didnt.


1) You betray her trust, invade her privacy and see she made some comments about some body types of some guys she likes
2) She tries to play it off and make it unimportant, tells you she really likes you and your body
3) You don't believe her, confront her again and get mad why she isn't apologizing to you that she didn't comment on your "body type" on some webpage.

Wow, she is lucky to have you.

- all of this has caused fights on top of fights
- how can you EVER trust or feel comfortable w/ a woman, whom you KNOW is solely attracted to something that your NOT.

You need some perspective. She's with you, sleeps and has sex with you, and told you flat out she likes you and your body type, and you are not comfortable because she likes certain body types a little bit more than yours?

You must be perfect and look like Brad.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

I couldn't see a woman like that sticking around for much more of this, guess it depends on how much money you have. But with all the whining and b!tching you've done, her respect for you is on it's way out. Because you have made such a big deal about other guys' bodies and fought with her FOR NOT COMMENTING ON YOUR MYSPACE PAGE, she has the perfect alibi ready for when she dumps you. Assuming you aren't a billionaire.

A smart move would be to make her a FB or dump her and never make these mistakes again, for this one will most surely as the day cheat on you and leave you high n dry.

 

[Igetit!]

It was just a never ending barrage of photo comments telling all of them how beautiful their bodies were & what she would like 2 do w/ them etc etc etc etc & I obviously dont look like that, or hence, I wouldnt be writing this...

You say that on her myspace and facebook she has photos of all these big,beefy guys talking about how their bodies look,and comments about what she'd like to do to them. Uhh.....yeah....so? So what? You should know that women like to fantasize and live in la-la land. They like fairytales and romance novels where some muscle head Fabio look-a-like comes in on a white horse and sweeps them off their feet. All that stuff in her Facebook and myspace pages are just her expressing her fantasies in my opinion. Do you really think she'd break up with you just so she could go and do whatever she said on her myspace page? Come on man. If she'd really break things off with you just to go fulfill some sexual fantasy,then your relationship must not be that strong to begin with.

Also, when she tells me that IM exactly what she physically likes, in a man, I remind her of how, all the guys she had on her page that were of my body type, she never left ONE single photo comment to & she always come up w/ some bull**** excuse as to why she didnt.

So what if she didn't leave a comment on the guys whose body type matches yours. She's with you,right? She IS your girlfriend,isn't she? Stop being so insecure. Look dude,you better fix this. You better make it right. You keep being so fragile with your ego,and your weakness is going to drive her away. A woman wants a man who makes her feel safe and secure. So how can she feel that way around you if she has to keep reassuring you every five minutes that she likes you,and she's not going to leave you? You've opened up a can of worms here,my friend. She's found a weakness in the man who's supposed to be her protector. Guarantee you that each time you argue with her over this nonsense,a little bit of her attraction for you dies.

Now, all of this has caused fights on top of fights, but, in all sincerity, how can you EVER trust or feel comfortable w/ a woman, whom you KNOW is solely attracted to something that your NOT.

Well,if you're not comfortable or can't trust her solely because of some comments she made over some photos,then maybe you should break up with her. I mean hey,you say you guys are fighting because of this,you're not comfortable,and you have a hard time trustig her because of all of this. Well,if you're not comfortable.don't trust her,argue and fight all the time,then what's the point of being together? What for? You'd be better off alone. At least then,you'd have some piece of mind.

However,all this is fixable. Simple,just stop being insecure. Trust the girl. Either that,or keep going through this current madhouse of a relationship that's being caused all by your insecurity.

 

[Zappati]

I appreciate all the input & advice, but, for the life of me, I just cant understand the rationale, of some of your thoughts.

Lets say, for the sake of argument, I had been w/only the hottest chicks on the planet, for my entire life & the next woman I ended up dating, weighed 350lbs w/ warts all over her face & I then told her that SHE was exactly what I was attracted to & she gave me a bigger hard -on than any of the hottest chicks on the planet.

Im sorry fellas, but, that woman would have to be the world`s biggest fool to even begin to believe that line of horse****. Cmon now.

 

[sharkbeat]

I appreciate all the input & advice, but, for the life of me, I just cant understand the rationale, of some of your thoughts.

Lets say, for the sake of argument, I had been w/only the hottest chicks on the planet, for my entire life & the next woman I ended up dating, weighed 350lbs w/ warts all over her face & I then told her that SHE was exactly what I was attracted to & she gave me a bigger hard -on than any of the hottest chicks on the planet.

Im sorry fellas, but, that woman would have to be the world`s biggest fool to even begin to believe that line of horse****. Cmon now.

I don't know maybe she's looking for a swing in another direction just for fun? If she's not at all that serious with you but you are with her, you are going to end up hurting.