My GF is making me crazy jealous - help.

[dirtysouth]

I've been dating a HB9 for about a month. She's won world pageants, and is the spokeswoman for a line of cosmetics so she gets hit on constantly. I never get jealous of any of this, in fact, at certain points she has asked me "why cant i show a bit more jealousy?"

However, she has stepped up the jealousy a bit by telling me she has a crush on a guy. She says the guy doesn't dig her, but I'm not sure I buy the entire act. It does drive me mental when she talks about him a lot. The fact that this dude doesn't dig her also drives me crazy. However, she does it more when I don't pay her attention.

So far I've responded with

"I love when you talk about him. It's such a turn off"
or
"Tell me more about him"
or
"I can't believe how horrible your taste is"

All of those aren't very good because it just makes her go on about him more. You have to remember, we have a fairly good relationship and I have most of the power. She just has this one thing on me, and it always comes up when she thinks I'm not paying her enough attention (she is needy for attention)

Any advice?

 

[Walking Anomaly]

Needy huh? Be careful with this one, she might be an attention wh*re who just loves to have guys oogling over her...

Just be cool about it...she might be blowing smoke just to get you to "be more jealous" like she wants you to be...

Either that or she does have a crush...in that case she probably has a crush because he so called, "isnt into her." - we all want what we dont have...

She probably likes him because hes doing exactly what you've been doing - not lettin it bother you and not letting her get to you...so continue to do so, but dont flat out ignore her - in a way, take charge...show the guy that she's yours...and show HER that shes yours...

chicks like men who know what they want and like and who arent afraid to take it...in your case, her.

IMO, a chick of mine could think other guys are cute and whatnot all she wants..but once she acts on those feelings and does something thats it. I just dont let it bother me, or play into her hands about gettin jealous when she talks about them.

~WA

 

[woods]

That is bullshyt. There is no reason for you to put up with that. The thing about girls like that is, she's probably never been dumped. I had a chick like that, and I was the only guy that ever dumped her on her ass. It destroyed her. Shes still a lifetime fvckbuddy though.
I would tell that chick "later." Be cool about it if you do though. Dont show anger. You should tell her you're better than her, and to fvck off. But not before you use her for social proof to line someone else up.! You are better that that. Just cuz she's hot, soesnt mean shyt. You can line up an HB8, and if you like her, she will look just as good as an HB10. Dont sell yourself short on this bytch. It will only get worse with time. Line someone else up, raise your current girls IL up big time, then drop her, and let her know what it feels like to be a mere mortal. You can use her to get other girls. That is the best thing about HB10's. The social proof. Get some backburners out of the deal, and chuck that cvnt!

EDIT:
I reread your post, and, maybe my advice isnt right. Personally, I like when a girl gets just a little jealous, and maybe she thinks the same. I think its cute. Maybe you should let her know it bothers you a little. I dont think its right to try to make someone jealous for the hell of it though

Or better yet: find a way to hurt her, when she does that. maybe she'll stop. Find her weakness, and hit her hard with it, everytime she does that crap. She's playing a game, beat her at it.

 

[Blusher]

You have to remember, we have a fairly good relationship and I have most of the power.

mmmh... I doubt it...

 

[Last Man Standing]

This hor is vindictive and disrespecting your manhood - have some dignity and send her to hor hell!!!

 

[KarmaSutra]

Absolutely the best way to combat her behaviour is with cognitive dissonance. She says she has a crush on a guy you reply with "yeah your hot friend (insert name of hot ass friend ) looks to be the front runner to become your replacement." Don't just say it dear boy, MEAN IT FROM YOUR SOUL! Otherwise it won't be honest and true.

Here's another example: I was out with a chick long ago in my early twenties, We were having decent conversation, she was busting my balls a little and I was busting her t!ts in return. So chick says out of the blue: " Ya know, I need a big c0ck to be satisfied." Without batting an eye I retorted with: " I agree big t!ts and a semblance of mental aptitude are absolutely necessary for me to be attracted. Thus far you haven't hit one outta' the park." Of which she had a deer in headlights reaction while I ate the mushrooms off of her plate. . .

My point is you can't wallow in her bullsh!t and wait for her to make a decision about your part of your relationship.

 

[spider_007]

put your foot down

 

[edmond]

However, she has stepped up the jealousy a bit by telling me she has a crush on a guy. She says the guy doesn't dig her, but I'm not sure I buy the entire act. It does drive me mental when she talks about him a lot. The fact that this dude doesn't dig her also drives me crazy. However, she does it more when I don't pay her attention. Any advice?

Yes, stop being a moron.
If she wants to be with another guy, dump her a**.
LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE.

 

[Latinoman]

Dirtysouth...have you had sex with her yet? And reading your original post...is she your GF? Or somebody you are just dating (no sex)?

All this information is important.

Jealousy is NOT a good thing. But neither is being disrespected.

 

[dirtysouth]

To give you some more color to the situation. She is very jealous of me - in the sense she thinks she needs to see what text messages I get, or what girls are calling me. Her personality is jealous. I obviously never let her do any of those things. I think this "crush" is intended to cause a reaction in me, so she can see if I really dig her.

In fact lately, as gay as this sounds, she's been wanting me to tell her I have deeper feelings for her than just a fling. She's said she has fallen for me and wants to hear the same thing from me.

This crush thing is, in my opinion, just a way for her to make me fear losing her. The only thing I was hoping to read in your responses was how to bite back. I think I know how. I never bring up chicks who dig me (due to the fact that she gets so jealous) but now it's gloves off. I'll bite back, because I really don't give a **** if her "crush" turns out to be true. Why would she downgrade from First Class to Coach?

 

[dirtysouth]

Dirtysouth...have you had sex with her yet?

Yes. As recently as two days ago.

 

[dirtysouth]

Absolutely the best way to combat her behaviour is with cognitive dissonance. She says she has a crush on a guy you reply with "yeah your hot friend (insert name of hot ass friend ) looks to be the front runner to become your replacement." Don't just say it dear boy, MEAN IT FROM YOUR SOUL! Otherwise it won't be honest and true.

This is the path I'm thinking of taking. I frame it like

"well I hope your crush works out so you'll lose me to <enter hot girl she hates name here> "

 

[Redux]

Wtf? Your gf is saying that she has a crush on another guy? I don't know how it works on the states, but here that would be way more than needed to dump her.

 

[Latinoman]

Yes. As recently as two days ago.

Then you are getting solid advice already from some of the guys.

Do NOT allow disrespect. And do NOT show jealousy.

Heck...she is the PERFECT woman to use to get attention from other women. So, do a LOT of Public things together (especially places were other SINGLE women gather).

Because if she decides to escalate the disrespect (even when you try other methods)...you might have to walk away. And you might as well (if it comes to that) walk away getting something from the relationship. Something could be a "reputation" as a man that models are attracted to him.

 

[Latinoman]

This is the path I'm thinking of taking. I frame it like

"well I hope your crush works out so you'll lose me to <enter hot girl she hates name here> "

Do NOT frame it like that. IF you are going to use that strategy (I'm not agreeing nor disagreeing with it)...then frame it exactly like Karmasutra framed it.

 

[dirtysouth]

Then you are getting solid advice already from some of the guys.

Do NOT allow disrespect. And do NOT show jealousy.

How do I not allow this disrespect? I've never showed jealousy thus far. The only thing I've done as a reaction so far is saying "it's a turn off when you talk about this guy"

However, that may have been enough to show that it's bothering me.

 

[dirtysouth]

Because if she decides to escalate the disrespect (even when you try other methods)...you might have to walk away. And you might as well (if it comes to that) walk away getting something from the relationship. Something could be a "reputation" as a man that models are attracted to him.

Yeah, it's insane. We were at the club the other night and I've never realized how magnetic she is to other hot women. I see what you mean. If I want to walk away, I've already come out ahead.

I just want to flip the power on this situation because I know she really likes me. I think the 'crush' is a ruse.

Consider: She calls me 8-10 times a day, texts 6-7 times, and wants me to come over every night.
I call her 1-2 (mostly as a reply), text 2 times (replies) and re-schedule 50% of her requests to see me. In fact any date now is scheduled on my terms.


Nevertheless, I really like your advice.

 

[Latinoman]

How do I not allow this disrespect? I've never showed jealousy thus far. The only thing I've done as a reaction so far is saying "it's a turn off when you talk about this guy"

However, that may have been enough to show that it's bothering me.

If a woman is involved with me. I won't tolerate her talking about her desire for another man. That's CLEAR disrespect. This woman is taking you for granted.

My woman talks to me like that...I simply would say a short and crisp little speech:

"I am going to say this once.

Have you ever heard of the term FWB? Listen, if you just want to be in a FWB relationship with me...that's fine. I have no problems with that. But I need to know NOW. We will stop everything we are doing and simply focus on sex. As sex would be the only focus on a FWB relationship.

If you want me to treat you with respect... then earn it by treating me with respect. Listen, I am not going to get jealous. Jealousy does not enhance my life. And I don't view any man above me, so feeling jealousy is a futile emotion for me. Here is the thing, if you dump me to be with another man...that's not my problem. It is yours.

One thing I'm going to tell you...it is very important that you understand that it is in your hands how far this relationship can go. Treat me with respect and I will treat you the same. Disrespect me and you can rest assure that you won't even have a FWB relationship with me. So what is going to be? Are we going to be phuck bodies or are we going to be involved in a healthy relationship? Just remember, I won't be in a serious relationship with a woman that still focusing on other men."

Do you see the "coldness" of the message? It is clear...it is to the point...and it has no room for interpretation (no room for woman_nese). It shows that you are collective, cool, and truly mean what you are saying. It also shows that she is NOT the prize and that your life does not revolves around hers. And it shows that you are in CONTROL of YOUR life. She is simply there to enhance it. You are already happy...she is there NOT to make you happy...but to enhance your happiness.

 

[Latinoman]

Yeah, it's insane. We were at the club the other night and I've never realized how magnetic she is to other hot women. I see what you mean. If I want to walk away, I've already come out ahead.

I just want to flip the power on this situation because I know she really likes me. I think the 'crush' is a ruse.

Consider: She calls me 8-10 times a day, texts 6-7 times, and wants me to come over every night.
I call her 1-2 (mostly as a reply), text 2 times (replies) and re-schedule 50% of her requests to see me. In fact any date now is scheduled on my terms.


Nevertheless, I really like your advice.

She seems to like you. She is just "confused" with all this t.v. shows and magazines stuff. The "He is not into you" (book) syndrome or the "Sex and the City" syndrome.

You simply have to "lead" her and "educate" her on what you consider disrespect and the consequences. That way she does not take her for granted. Now, make sure she understands you are NOT trying to control her. That's why you are telling her "it is very important that you understand that it is in your hands how far this relationship can go." Because with that, you are telling her that it is HER decision. That you are not going to tell her what to do (controlling). Instead, you are telling her what you consider disrespect and the consequences. If she continues to disrespect you...then you leave. It was her choice.

Read my little speech, which I have given in the past (or something very similar) and has worked wonders for me.

 

[Bevo]

oh for sure thats only a strategy to get you hooked. As if she didnt know shes a bad girl. Well, perfect, couldnt be better like it is!

oh dont dump her!

my answer would be: "you really try hard to make me jealous, huh? Dont worry, I just dont get jealous, because hes not a real competition"