My friend stabbed me in the back

[WishIWas]

I'll try to keep this brief. There's a condensed version before, marked by asterisks, but PLEASE read the whole story.

A few weeks ago I had plans to go out with three of my best friends: Josh, Paul, and Dave. We were going to go to a party. I called Josh at some point in the afternoon to finalize our plans, and he told me that his mom was going out and if he wanted to go anywhere that night it had to be now. I told him to come on over.

Well, he came. I gave him dinner, I gave him deodorant, I let him use my computer, I cleaned up after him after he left, and I was generally a good friend and a good host. We made plans to go out with Paul and Dave, but there was a snag.

While Josh was talking to Paul (Dave was driving) I heard them having an argument about space in the car. Apparently Josh's girlfriend was going to come with us. Earlier in the day she had cancelled plans with us for some reason, but they told me that she had changed her mind. They said that Dave's car was broken in the center and could only hold four people - and, since I was the last person to get in on the party situation, Josh told me (well, asked me) to find another ride.

I was understandably pissed. But, I understood there was no changing the situation since I had another ride lined up, so I called up some more friends.

Yesterday I found out that they had completely lied to me. Paul, who I had been cool with that morning and who I had a great time with at the party, had been in a ****ty mood and decided he didn't want to see me. Josh, being the little pvssy whipped b1tch that he is, went along with Paul and lied to me about his girlfriend coming so I wouldn't go with them.

I had confronted them about their suspicious story a couple of times and both Paul and Josh had lied to me. When I just told Paul to stop being an azzhole and tell me the truth, he did. He apologized profusely and said he felt bad, and I just walked off. He IMed me later apologizing again and saying he just gets into moods, and he didn't know why he was mad at me and he felt like an ass later when he saw me at the party.

********************** SHORT VERSION **********************
I'm fine with Paul and I'm fine with Dave. I don't quite know how to react to Josh.

Here's how I see the situation. Paul messed up and feels awful about it, and genuinely cares about me. Josh, on the other hand:

Invited himself over to my house.
Ate my food.
Used my computer.
Used my deodorant.
Ate more of my good.
Left his dishes around my room.
Drank my alcohol.

And then ditched me when our other friend was clearly being an ass for no reason and lied to me about it for weeks.

Right now, I'd gladly fight this guy. I feel like he stabbed me in the back for no good reason, and then lied to me about it.

I'm wondering how long it's appropriate to be mad at him. Just typing htis has gotten me pissed off at him all over again. Most of you will say "don't be their friend." Well, I have dozens of friends. However I hang out with these guys, who are part of my group, just about every weekend. I have most classes with them, I eat lunch with them, and for one thing I've been friends with Josh for 4 years and Paul for two.

Deep down, I care about these guys a lot and they care about me.

I let him know this morning how I think he's an *******. He kept trying to talk to me throughout the day but I was too pissed off to. That's all. Thanks for the advice in advance.

 

[LikRetsam]

Oh yeah... they care for you huh?

 

[Da Joa]

Ditch 'em, man. You say you have more friends, then go eat lunch with them instead of these guys. Seriously. I've broken off all contact with people I had been very good friends with for years because of a few situations. No different then a breakup with a girlfriend... if she fvck's up, you gotta let her go.

Make better friends with the other guys you know who don't lie to you.

 

[TyTe`EyEs]

wishyouwere, I've been fvcked over by friends too many times to remember. Over the years, it has become harder for me to trust people, which is a good thing. People have to EARN your trust just like you have to earn theirs. Most of the so called friends you have now will be gone after high school, or maybe sooner ( the older you get the more you will realize this). It's the ones who stick by you who are your true friends.

 

[AFK Protector]

Yes, I believe that is the best way to go. Make people earn your trust. It's like getting a doctorate. Everyone wants one because it is the hardest to get, and thus produces the most benefits. Your trust should be like ea doctorate. Everyone wants it, but only a few can get it. The ones that get it cherish it, the ones that don't are filled with envy. This gives you power and that just finishes the whole shazam.

 

[DJ Alejandro]

ive been there before, man. and it still hurts me everytime i think about it.

imagine this, the whole class comes to me looking and asking for paper, advice, answers to tests and whatever.

but when i had an operation and missed classes, [the rule was that if u missed class, u get zeros for quizzes]. then they ended up voting to fail me cuz it was 'unfair' that i get 98 from the two quizzes i got and then they get 85s at most for the 5 quizzes.

only a few guys defended me and they're my real friends even up to now.

these people are parasites. lose them. and you'll feel a lot better.
i have.

 

[WishIWas]

Josh kept trying to talk to me yesterday. Finally he said "come on, talk to me." and I said fine. So, we went off a few feet from the class and I told him he fvcked up big time, and I didn't think he realized what an azzhole he was being. He explained that I'm one of his best friends and he just figured it would be easier for all parties involved if he lied to me, since he knew that I could find another ride easily.

I told him that a real friend wouldn't have done that, and he literally begged me for another chance. I said that if he ever fvcks up again like this, not only are we through but I'll beat his ass too.

 

[JSH]

Right now, I'd gladly fight this guy. I feel like he stabbed me in the back for no good reason, and then lied to me about it.

I'm wondering how long it's appropriate to be mad at him. Just typing htis has gotten me pissed off at him all over again. Most of you will say "don't be their friend." Well, I have dozens of friends. However I hang out with these guys, who are part of my group, just about every weekend. I have most classes with them, I eat lunch with them, and for one thing I've been friends with Josh for 4 years and Paul for two.

Deep down, I care about these guys a lot and they care about me.

I let him know this morning how I think he's an *******. He kept trying to talk to me throughout the day but I was too pissed off to. That's all. Thanks for the advice in advance.

It all depends on how you guys normally act towards one another.

Appropriate to stay pissed off with him? If you mean how long is too long then its already too long. I feel you feel you have been more let down by josh than by paul, because you have been mates with him longer. Paul seems to be the bastard, and Josh just seems weak willed. Get more friends, tell Josh hes weak willed and will be out in the wilderness if it ever happens again, but forgive him as you guys have history. This is my take, i would be strong enough to get over the fact that he lied to me but would show that it would not be tolerated again.

Josh invited himself over to your house uninvited, shows your connection, i mean seriously are you bothered about the other things he did, its petty. Although there is a contradiction as you invited him over . . .

Anyway Paul reminds me of some of my previous friends, who were not only fair weather friends but were also real bastards. However, they covered it up by being slimy, for a start he has let down Josh by admitting that Josh lied to you, even though it was his fault as he did not want you to come along. He seems fair weather to Josh, he also seems a complete and utter ****, now ingratiatign himself back into your good graces, with josh being out in the wilderness. My advice, ditch paul or say look this is not acceptable you have been bad to both of us and forgive josh but its up to you....





Anyway ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES