My "friend" seems to want to see a lot of me

[Santos]

I am seeing this girl (Chantal). Who has a BF. She hasn't come out and said "I just want to be friends" but on ocassion she's used the word "friend" with me. And through some stuff her FRIEND told me, I got the impression that friendship is all I was gonna get.

Yesterday she called me to see how my day went. She even hinted about how she was running out of outfits, so she wouldn't have anything to where "next time" she sees me.

Today, I get another call from her. This time she asks me if I can give her and 4 friends a lift to my university on Thursday, because they have a debating class to attend. This would involve me driving FROM my university 30 minutes to her house, and then back to the university for another 30 minutes. And then I'd have to wait for them and take them home again. So I made up some BS about how I had to attend a meeting for a project. NO WAY I am doing that, waaaay too AFC.

So then she says she needs me to help her pick one of 4 outfits for the after-party for her BOYFRIEND's prom. Then she says she has to walk home from highschool, blah blah. She's told me before how she was mugged, so I told her I'll give her a lift home and then I can help her pick an outfit.

Ok, so that's still a bit AFC. But I wanted to see what the hell is going on. For starters, her BF and her are getting together this Friday BEFORE the prom. Why can't she ask him? She's also already asked her best friends opinion.

On our date two weeks ago I was worried I was already heading for friendland...

I've seen her Thursday last week, that Friday I get invited to her house. Saturday she invites me to a club I can't go so she comes on Sunday to my house. She called me yesterday and today.

She tries to SEE me again on Thursday, I tell her I can't. So now I'm seeing her tomorrow. I've invited her to a 21st party in august, she's accepted. Surely she knows this will piss her BF off?

I have been using C &F and neg-hits all the way. She at least SUSPECTS I'm interested in her sexually.

This is all very odd. DJ's always rely on ACTIONS instead of WORDS. But that's normally when the girl is leading you on with her words, but her action betrays her true intentions.

In this case her WORDS and what her friends say kind of lean towards "Friend", but she seems to want to see an awful lot of me for just a friend. I've heard from her every day since last thursday. I have female friends I go out with and I don't hear from them that much. I mean, we've only known each other a week.

So I think she's into me, but is hesitant. Maybe she doesn't know me well enough yet to leave her BF of 11 months or maybe she wants me to make a move. I guess I'm saying what do you guys think? Will she bite my tounge off If I try stick it down her throat?

What can I do to push her over the edge? Make her WANT me REEEAL bad

Thanks for reading
Santos

P.S. her friend has even asked me if I like Chantal. Doh. I know she's going to go tell Chantal whatever I say. So I said "We're good friends, but who knows what could happen? I enjoy her company, she's a cool person."

 

[echo1212]

What ever in Gods name you do, I dont care if you have to go rob a bank instead, DO NOT go and help her pick out outfits for HER bf's prom. Honestly, that may be one of the gayest and alltime afc things I have ever heard. If you have feelings for her romanticaly, you tell her, and that maybe for right now it might be better to not hang out as much because of these feelings. You then remove alot of contact. Shes not gonna go break up with her bf anytime soon, trust me, so the best thing you could do is remain friends, stay cool, but cool things way down. YOu dont need to be hanging out with a girl who has a bf, plenty of singles out there for you to get with.

But Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, do not help her pick out 'outfits" do you realize how gay that sounds?

 

[DiamondMind]

Ooops I hate HTML editing hehehe.

 

[Santos]

Originally posted by echo1212
But Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, do not help her pick out 'outfits" do you realize how gay that sounds?

Yeah I do. I don't know how the heck I got suckered into that one. How do I cancel on her? She phoned me like an hour ago to give me directions. I can call her back and tell her I forgot I had something else to do? Heeelp!

 

[DiamondMind]

Originally posted by Santos
Yeah I do. I don't know how the heck I got suckered into that one. How do I cancel on her? She phoned me like an hour ago to give me directions. I can call her back and tell her I forgot I had something else to do? Heeelp!

Ummmmm, just tell her to get her bf to be her taxi service and clothes shopping 'girlfriend'.

Show some respect for yourself dude. I couldn't imagine taking some chick shopping for clothes (other than my sister, and I would demand lunch and a beer too) that she needs for a social occasion with her boyfriend.

Echo is right...you need to get her to see you in a sexual light. Your availability, etc. screams "Friend".

 

[echo1212]

You simply call her and tell her politely yet firmly that you like her alot, but its probably not a good idea to be hanging out so much when she has a bf. If you want to look like a true gentleman you tell her that you know if she was your girl, you wouldnt some other guy coming over as "friends" its just disrespectful. But whatever you do say away from the modeling fest.

 

[DiamondMind]

Ooops....lol.

 

[Frosty]

Honestly, that may be one of the gayest and alltime afc things I have ever heard.

It just doesn't stop with you, does it , dude? The word gay is all over your posts.

You should not try to give advice, man. Bigotry destroys credibility.


Santos, it sounds like to me that you have been way too available for this gal.
She can just like you very much as friend and that is why she wants to hang out with you a lot. Are you actually "seeing" her or are you just hanging out with her?

You could be the d*ck in the class case which is something a bit before the friend zone. You will probably have to make some sort of advance soon to at least keep yourself from tripping into the friend zone.

Also, maybe her friend asked you that because she knows Chantal likes you and she needs to report back to Chantal for the spy information. Either way, if you want this girl, I would start working on her seeing me as sexual ASAP. Start off subtle then increase gradually. Keep us posted. This one is interesting.

 

[Santos]

GUYS! I am NOT going SHOPPING with her. I am going to her house, she has 4 outfits to choose from. Is that less gay? LOL no it still sounds gay, but do I still cancel?

 

[DiamondMind]

Originally posted by Santos
GUYS! I am NOT going SHOPPING with her. I am going to her house, she has 4 outfits to choose from. Is that less gay? LOL no it still sounds gay, but do I still cancel?

Hmmmm, it's possible she wants to display the 'goods' to you in order to 'push' you into the sexual zone (mebbe she sees your hesitant, etc. and wants you to make a move).

The likely reality is that she wants to 'show you what your not gunna get' and is toying with you. Women don't usually ask other guys to 'pick their outfit'. Thats what her gf does.

Hard to say what to do. Unless I had hard facts that she thinks of you in a sexual/bf way, I'd pass. Doing her favours and being available to do her stuff is a one sure way to turn her off viewing you as a bf.

 

[echo1212]

Hell yes you cancel. Why is this even debateable? I told you what to say-refer to my earlier post. DO. NOT. GO.

 

[DiamondMind]

Well, you could go and tell her she looks best without any clothes.

You'll be alone with her, presumably in her bedroom....

Take a risk. Be 'sexual' with her. Be a 'bad-guy'. Now would be the perfect time to bust a nut with her.

 

[Santos]

Originally posted by echo1212
Hell yes you cancel. Why is this even debateable? I told you what to say-refer to my earlier post. DO. NOT. GO.

Ok, but I'm going to feel bad letting her walk home when she's been mugged doing it before (not the nicest area). She doesn't have a lift tomorrow. How about I go tomorrow, but after that, the next time she asks me to do something I'll tell her what you said?

I would REALLY feel crap if something happend to her on ehr way home. Especially if I make up a reason to cancel.

 

[echo1212]

NO, that is what her boyfriend is for. Did I read it right that you just met this girl a week ago? If true she is just using you. No girl who respected a guy would be asking you to do all of these things already. Wierd. Don't go, shes not getting mugged...please....so afc.

 

[Santos]

Originally posted by DiamondMind
Well, you could go and tell her she looks best without any clothes.

You'll be alone with her, presumably in her bedroom....

Take a risk. Be 'sexual' with her. Be a 'bad-guy'. Now would be the perfect time to bust a nut with her.

But I have done this previously. When she said she wants me to see her outfits, I jokingly asked if I can "watch her change." She told me when I was at her house the other day, how she likes this dress cos' it makes her ass look nice. So I said, "Well your ass looks good in those jeans you're wearing too!"

She has a tatoo near her groin (not done yet). I've teased her about it asking her if she'll show it to me. She said "When it's done, I'll show it to you."

I have made sexual COMMENTS, but I think I'll go tomorrow and try some more stuff. Especially ACTIONS. If I still feel I'm being used, then I'll bail out.

 

[Santos]

Originally posted by echo1212
NO, that is what her boyfriend is for. Did I read it right that you just met this girl a week ago? If true she is just using you. No girl who respected a guy would be asking you to do all of these things already. Wierd. Don't go, shes not getting mugged...please....so afc.

Her boyfriend lives an hour away from her and doesn't have a car. She's complained about her current BF to other ppl too. He's a bit of a chump. But then again, maybe I am as well

 

[echo1212]

Some people never learn, your not gettin any from this chick. Shes USING YOu. Cant you see that dude? THere are so many single girls out there you can get some punanie from-why asre you doing this? You have to ask yourself that? Is she a goddess? A ten? The coolest girl in the world? No, I doubt it. So why are you wasting your time, disrespecting yourself, being insecure. I realize that this board has been overun by alot kids lately, but take it from someone who has seen every relationship in the book. I'm 29, dated a million girls and been in alot of relationships-if you have any self repect, dont go. I could maybe see if she just wanted to hang out and do something fun, but to do something like this where she wants you to help her IMPRESS her boyfriend???? My God.

 

[echo1212]

Then she has her mom or dad or her friends help her, not some guy she just met and who has no chance right now to get with her. I mean think about it. Your at her house, she comes out with all these different outfits, you rate them, knowing that her bf will be taking them off of her tomorrow and doing her hard. isnt that embarassing to you?

 

[Santos]

Originally posted by echo1212
Then she has her mom or dad or her friends help her, not some guy she just met and who has no chance right now to get with her. I mean think about it. Your at her house, she comes out with all these different outfits, you rate them, knowing that her bf will be taking them off of her tomorrow and doing her hard. isnt that embarassing to you?

OK echo, I can see you're a wise DJ. And I fear you are probablly right. I asked her why she hadn't asked her best friend, but her best friend had already helped her. Well, I know she does think highly of me, and talks to her friends about me. She's even mentioned that she'll buy me a gift for my birthday this weekend (I think it;ll be a book, not cheap). So I KNOW she cares about me. But probablly as a friend, right? She always says things like "I like you Santos", "I enjoy your company", and "I feel like we're on the same level".

I do like her, but I've thought about it a lot lately and I could name at least two other chicks I'd like to go out with just as much.

I know you've told me not to go. But I've kinda screwed up, I texted her "are you awake" (wanted to call her and cancel) and she didn't get it, so I thought she was a sleeping. But then it went through. I saw some dude say I should go on this post, so I texted her "don't worry. not important."

Then I see your post. I'm going to go, since I told her I would. I realise that I'm probablly screwed, and after tomorrow I'll feel ****. But it's all experience in the end. I can see how we'd be good friends (we do have fun together), but I think it's better for me to date other people and put the friendship on ice for the time being.

I'll have no problems being her friend if I'm banging some other hottie.

Thanks a lot mate!
Santos

 

[echo1212]

your welcome-good luck.