My "friend" and a plate.

TheManMasenko

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Hey...I recently had a plate of 1 month, distancing herself. (Plate = women I'm currently seeing plus want a relationship with). I'm bummed over this situation.

My "friend" is a guy I knew in high school, we played video games, smoke weed, went out, and actually met some women together. We used to back in 2022 before I had my girlfriend. My ex never liked him she would things like "he wants you single so you can go out with him." But I never paid too much of that in mind. By his actions, I can tell (or get the feeling) he's a stand-up. When I was in this altercation, he was there for me. Despite that, I used to feel like I needed him in times of danger, which I know now is not unnecessary and should never be the case.

Since my break up w/ my ex- I realized the hardship of being single. I went out (2023) with the "friend" but I realized he was more socially awkward and lacked more social skills than me. This year alone we went to multiple venues and each night did not score. This alone makes me realize my ex...maybe had a point...and made me realize I wasted an opportunity. Plus, when I go out by myself I enjoy my time better.

Anyway, the deal is whenever I bring him around women, I feel him to be envious. Since he has not had meaningful relationships with the quality (beautiful) of women compared to myself. I've seen him f*** fat women, ugly women, *****s, etc etc. Plus, I'm shorter than him..I'm sure that has to play a role in it too because he always talks about my height and says I can grow still (I'm 22).

I did a double date w/ the plate for the first time with my friend and his date, he kept saying to me (and my plate could hear easily), "did you f*** her yet?" "*Name*, that's all you boy!" etc. It was embarrassing. I tell him to politely stop, but he keeps going.

Recently, I was talking to him on the phone while w/ my plate. She could hear everything. My "friend" is talking about women ain't s***, women lie, etc and how's he going to f*** some more women. My plate hears this and becomes upset saying "You can't have him around".

Fast forward, the plate knows my ex is in my current class. My "friend" asked me (while the plate is there), "How's it's going between us (my ex and I)?" I even named dropped this other person that he knows, but he acts to not know who this person is... I get a feeling he's plotting on my ex (since the person I named and my ex are linked). He's being discreet with women and other stuff too...I just feel like cutting him off completely.

Anyways, the plate said to me "My friends don't think you are serious since you are still connected with your ex. I need time alone."

Meanwhile...I tell my "friend" and he says H*** ain't s****.

I'm too mature for this...what's your advice
 

Bigpapa

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Hey...I recently had a plate of 1 month, distancing herself. (Plate = women I'm currently seeing plus want a relationship with). I'm bummed over this situation.

My "friend" is a guy I knew in high school, we played video games, smoke weed, went out, and actually met some women together. We used to back in 2022 before I had my girlfriend. My ex never liked him she would things like "he wants you single so you can go out with him." But I never paid too much of that in mind. By his actions, I can tell (or get the feeling) he's a stand-up. When I was in this altercation, he was there for me. Despite that, I used to feel like I needed him in times of danger, which I know now is not unnecessary and should never be the case.

Since my break up w/ my ex- I realized the hardship of being single. I went out (2023) with the "friend" but I realized he was more socially awkward and lacked more social skills than me. This year alone we went to multiple venues and each night did not score. This alone makes me realize my ex...maybe had a point...and made me realize I wasted an opportunity. Plus, when I go out by myself I enjoy my time better.

Anyway, the deal is whenever I bring him around women, I feel him to be envious. Since he has not had meaningful relationships with the quality (beautiful) of women compared to myself. I've seen him f*** fat women, ugly women, *****s, etc etc. Plus, I'm shorter than him..I'm sure that has to play a role in it too because he always talks about my height and says I can grow still (I'm 22).

I did a double date w/ the plate for the first time with my friend and his date, he kept saying to me (and my plate could hear easily), "did you f*** her yet?" "*Name*, that's all you boy!" etc. It was embarrassing. I tell him to politely stop, but he keeps going.

Recently, I was talking to him on the phone while w/ my plate. She could hear everything. My "friend" is talking about women ain't s***, women lie, etc and how's he going to f*** some more women. My plate hears this and becomes upset saying "You can't have him around".

Fast forward, the plate knows my ex is in my current class. My "friend" asked me (while the plate is there), "How's it's going between us (my ex and I)?" I even named dropped this other person that he knows, but he acts to not know who this person is... I get a feeling he's plotting on my ex (since the person I named and my ex are linked). He's being discreet with women and other stuff too...I just feel like cutting him off completely.

Anyways, the plate said to me "My friends don't think you are serious since you are still connected with your ex. I need time alone."

Meanwhile...I tell my "friend" and he says H*** ain't s****.

I'm too mature for this...what's your advice
We all have been ( hopefully ) in the spot where we outgrew our friends ( seems like this is the case here )

I do not think he has something with you or stuff like that, he looks more like a guy that is not mature more than anything else

I think that it is very important to realize that having a friend that you can do everything with him becomes extremely difficult as you age. This happens mainly because things get more complex ( girls, work, social life, relaxing, going out, etc etc etc )

I think that it is important to keep the guy in the position that he was always been ( playing some games from time to time and occasionally smoke weed or have some drinks ) and try to find other guys that are more like minded in terms of other stuff ( going out )

It is also very wise to not mix friends that fill different roles between them as very likely they will not get along each other

If he tries to f8ck your ex or something, then you cut him off as a true friend knows that exes and girls you like are a big no no. Bro code

Read also this article, it is quite good at explaining what the problem
Of your friend is

 
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RazorRambo24

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Just move on homie. No sense in having grown men who act like kids around you. Throughout my 20s I dealt with diff dudes who I was friends with who were envious of my success with women. I didn't mind most of it but one of my friends I had -- it his overall personality and immaturity that lead me to cutting him off. He's still a good guy in my book, just a bit inexperienced in some areas of life and with women while having great qualities when it comes to work ethic, independence, a go for it attitude, etc. We've had many a fun times pickin up women at bars, clubs, etc despite his quality being far lower than mine.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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"Tell me who your friends are, and I tell you who you are."
 

Dr.Suave

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This guy is toxic, jealous, and trying to sabotage your plate. Cut him loose asap
 

Solomon

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Cut him off
"Tell me who your friends are, and I tell you who you are."
This guy is toxic, jealous, and trying to sabotage your plate. Cut him loose asap
All I needed to read. One of the things that separate the weak from the strong is being able cut off toxic people in their life or hold on to them.
This is the type of guy who whether consciously or subconsciously makes you look bad in front of women, OP cut him off or keep him at a distance (meaning don't bring women around him etc)

IF you choose to keep him around he will continue to sabotage and if ever given the chance badmouth you to one of the girls so he can smash. I've seen this happen to many times
 

obelisk

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You're known by the company that you keep. This guy is not an asset.
 

TheManMasenko

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Yea, he doesn't add much. I noticed him copying my business too while being discrete.

I'm going to cut him off when I feel it's convenient.
 

obelisk

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Yeah there is zero upside to waiting for a convenient time. Waiting to call him out publicly in front of people to then turn your back or some such will just make you look petty and childish. View it as evolving to your better version of you and toss him away like baggage you need to unload.

Toss his ass and disconnect him silently from your social scene.
 

TheManMasenko

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He's currently trying to mimic my business model and ask for advice.

I will interpret him as an enemy and do the opposite of what he suggests.

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer—no care for him. Just attract info and when I feel it's convenient, I'll leave him loose.
 
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