my freind that said about my comments about lack of gf

[joe45]

ok i am 24 yrs old male. never had a gf or dated i was talking to my freind of 4 yrs and then he said that the idea of 24 having no gf or dated is pathetic-also having no kissed a girl, had sex, is a loser. i now its harsh but what do u guys think. i want a gf and to date but its hard, i can;t even hold a conversation, or now what to say. i don;t have any firends at all but that guy, and hes a jerk sometimes, but i don;t want to loose him, b/c i might not be able to find some other freinds out there. oh ya another question if i ever do get a gf should i tell her straight out about her being my first gf and being a virgin and all or should i say i had a couple of gf previously to her, my freind said to lie and say u had 3 or 4 previously to make urself look good. he said being a 24 yr old -lack of gf and all is what u call a dumbazz
am i one of the few guys that are that old and never had a gf or dated. i come from a strict and controlling family that was how i was raised. even if i had a gf my folks would have to apporve of her and if not i be getting harassed so much about it.

 

[stalluproar]

Part of getting over chumpish AFC ways is to get rid of negative influences in your life. It sounds like your friend and family are negative people. I would either cut them out completely or diminish contact dramatically.

If you have trouble finding friends, why don't you join a softball, volleyball, rock climbing, dodgeball, (etc) team to join and meet people that way? You will be looked at as being more fun and more desirable.

Never in a million years should you tell a girl you have never dated, never had sex (virgin). If she asks about how many people you've had sex with before, tell her, "Why, do you want their names and phone numbers so you can discuss it with them?" If she continues, "If you're asking if I am clean, you're OK." End the conversation there. No more. If she asks you one of those dumb so what was your last gf like. Just tell her everyone you date is great. We were attracted and for other reasons it didn't work and you rather not discuss it. If she still is nosy, tell her your past is your personal business. Tell her you are sure she has some things she doesn't want to bring up.

 

[rgeere]

Hey, I'm 24 and I have never had sex by personal choice [I have made out and had the blatent opportunity more than once.] I've had girlfriend's before, but nothing that was serious or lasted longer to be considered anything more than a fling. I have girls who are attracted to me, and like me, and want relationships, and sometimes I reject certain girls. I certainly don't consider myself a dumbass or a loser just because I currently don't have a steady girlfriend and havn't had sex [by choice]. My friend's don't either.

The reason why I am telling you this is because you need to learn some self-love like I have learned. Your self worth shouldn't be based on insignifigant standards like 'how many girls you can pick up in a night' or 'how many times you've had sex.' Confidence should never be based solely on theese things.

Life is all about finding exploring your capabilities. And when you are living up to your potential and enjoying life, that is when girls start to notice what you can offer them.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Your friend 's overall assessment is correct on how a woman perceives an inexperiencied docile man!! You need to get aggressive and start meeting new people and start opening your mouth!! There are 30 year old virgins - so you have hope yet!!

We cannot teach you to be socialable - you most likely will not be succesful with girls without effective verbal communication and aggressive initiation!

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
Your friend 's overall assessment is correct on how a woman perceives an inexperiencied docile man!!

If you are clean, neat, drugless, have a job, and don't live off of your parents in any ways there is no way [unless she is a b;tch] she can tell you are a virgin unless you tell her. My advice is to live up to your potential and avoid telling her.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

I agree with rgeere - do not volunteer any information and let a woman know that you are capable of handling what she brings forth!!

 

[belividere]

alright, I have no clue what you are like and how you are like in all reality.

But, from your post you have no self-confidence. I hate this response to questions but seriously click the link on the upper right corner of the page that is for the DJ bible. Read that about 3 times go out and practice what you learned and if you still have problems then come back and post threads.

Also do a search on this forum and you will find a ton of guys with the same (dilemma).

I would seriously suggest that you take a look at yourself and fix your problems before you even consider chasing girls. And take an honest look at yourself, not the glorified self-image that you percieve. Anyways I hope that you learn something from here and actually loosen up and have fun, after all that is what it really is about is having fun.

 

[joe45]

the funny thing is i'm at a college right now and my freind or was freind(george) is now finsihed a yr ago b/c he started earlier, is now telling me to go find some gals be freinds with em maybe date em and be her gf and he asked me to set him up with my dates freinds who are girls. lol. previously he has told me that he got this girl and got some action from this and that and got kisses ang hugs. like how some girls are only in it for the sex. well maybe not in school ,but more liek the bars. he doesn't go to bars. when i asked him why he doesn't go out with em the girls from school, he said he lost contact with em. so really george if ur so good with the ladies why are u asking me to set u up-kinda of like a double take and doesn't make sense hey.
i think his belittlement is to to encourage me to have a gf so i could set him up with a girl through my gf's freinds.
also PS b/c i am in college right now and don't take the bus every month he e mails me to buy a bus pass for him-since i get a student discount. he pays for it and i show my student card and i get a discount. personally i don';t want to get conflicit going between this guy , but i think i did a lot for him lately. PS this is the guy who also never returned my textbook-i allowed him to borrow for 4 mnths

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by rgeere
If you are clean, neat, drugless, have a job, and don't live off of your parents in any ways there is no way [unless she is a b;tch] she can tell you are a virgin unless you tell her. My advice is to live up to your potential and avoid telling her.

Ditto that!!

Letting a girl know about your weaknesses and flaws upfront is not a virtue that cause attraction. Women dont go out looking to date the weakess guy they can find. Flaws are too be exposed as time goes on, it is not to be used as an attraction magnet, because they aren't.

The saying is "Always Put Your Good Foot Forward."

 

[skeeloo]

man i dont understand why your complaining i went to a dry spell for a very long time too and didnt have dates, if your friend keeps busting your balls i dont care ignore him, if you let people treat you like that they will keep it up, i had friends that acted like that until oneday i told then up front that they were bastards, i didnt give a damn, after 2months of ingoring them they called me back, even that made me concerntrate on my self, as for girls when ever im single girls never knew because i used to carry my self like i was the **** you should learn how to decive girls man that comes so easy for me-lol, never has one girl disrespected me to my face so you betterman up, as for me i do better at pickups on my own, i dont pickup girls with my friends thats just me anyway.

 

[Brad324]

as soon as you start to build confidence, be prepared for guys to try to shoot it down. Just remember, when someone insults you, don't focus on what he's saying, but instead think about why he's saying it. For example, I got blonde hilights in my hair. Since I got it, alot of chicks have complimented me. A guy at work says to me "to pay that much for hair care is just gay." I wasn't insulted at all. Usually when someone tries to say something to tear down your confidence, it's because they feel threatened by it. As men, we're competitive by nature, and some guys would rather tear other people down than raise themselves.

Really, why should you care what another GUY thinks?

 

[Trance]

You dont have girls because you dont have friends. If you dont have friends, how are you suposed to meet girls? You meet girls from social circles.

Start developing your social skills, do what it takes. Read the bible. Its so important in life to have social skills.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by joe45
ok i am 24 yrs old male. never had a gf or dated i was talking to my freind of 4 yrs and then he said that the idea of 24 having no gf or dated is pathetic-also having no kissed a girl, had sex, is a loser. i now its harsh but what do u guys think.

Stopped reading right there. He's a pathetic excuse for a "friend". He's an insecure loser who is not going to go anywhere in his life. I'm willing to bet that he does not have much accomplishments in life besides getting laid (wow like he's the only one who has ever got laid). To the point. He's not a real friend. Dtich him get some friends who are more secure and don't need to put you down to feel better about themselves.

 

[alnite]

Originally posted by joe45
the funny thing is i'm at a college right now and my freind or was freind(george) is now finsihed a yr ago b/c he started earlier, is now telling me to go find some gals be freinds with em maybe date em and be her gf and he asked me to set him up with my dates freinds who are girls. lol. previously he has told me that he got this girl and got some action from this and that and got kisses ang hugs. like how some girls are only in it for the sex. well maybe not in school ,but more liek the bars. he doesn't go to bars. when i asked him why he doesn't go out with em the girls from school, he said he lost contact with em. so really george if ur so good with the ladies why are u asking me to set u up-kinda of like a double take and doesn't make sense hey.

1. Guys who know what they are doing do not talk about it. They won't brag.

2. Stand up on your own. Do not lean yourself onto others. Help others, but don't let them take advantage of you.

3. Friends will eventually turn to enemies, no matter how good they are. Let me tell you that. I have friends who I first thought were nice. Ever since I have been doing this DJ-ing, you know what they do to me next? Backstabbing me, while at the same time trying to copy me. How disgusting is that. Good thing girls can see through all these bull**** and know who is the real alpha.

 

[alnite]

Re: Re: my freind that said about my comments about lack of gf

Originally posted by TillTheEndOfTime
Dtich him get some friends who are more secure and don't need to put you down to feel better about themselves. [/B]

I second. Insecure friends are the worst enemies.

 

[tx_interface]

Originally posted by joe45
ok i am 24 yrs old male. never had a gf or dated i was talking to my freind of 4 yrs and then he said that the idea of 24 having no gf or dated is pathetic-also having no kissed a girl, had sex, is a loser. i now its harsh but what do u guys think. i want a gf and to date but its hard, i can;t even hold a conversation, or now what to say. i don;t have any firends at all but that guy, and hes a jerk sometimes, but i don;t want to loose him, b/c i might not be able to find some other freinds out there. oh ya another question if i ever do get a gf should i tell her straight out about her being my first gf and being a virgin and all or should i say i had a couple of gf previously to her, my freind said to lie and say u had 3 or 4 previously to make urself look good. he said being a 24 yr old -lack of gf and all is what u call a dumbazz
am i one of the few guys that are that old and never had a gf or dated. i come from a strict and controlling family that was how i was raised. even if i had a gf my folks would have to apporve of her and if not i be getting harassed so much about it.

Man, I've been reading some of your posts and you really need to get your **** together. I can totally understand what a controlling family can do to a person. I grew up never having a date in high school or any interaction with anyone besides my controlling dad after school. I joined the army and got the **** outta there. I had a hard time at first because my social skills weren't the best because I spent EVERY fukin hour with my dad on the farm working my ass off. You don't get a lot of social experience when you are a slave on a farm. I got out of the army and graduated from college and I'm now working on a professional degree. You need to do what ever the hell it takes to get out there and be on your own. Independence, probably more than anything will boost your confidence. Forget girls for now and just get your **** together and alot of other things will fall into place.